Inferno: Home
by TheJabuticaba
Summary: GiB verse. Jay returns to earth as an ambassador of Ignisia, with the reformed Alpha as a body guard. Needless to say, tension arises, along with mixed feelings. But with the impending Intergalactic Transport Conference coming up, the usual mess that accompanies intergalactic meetings and the possibility of a mole in the MiB, there's no time to discuss mushy stuff like feelings.
1. New York

_**Author's Notes: Okay, folks. I've got bad news and good news. The bad news is, school work is nearly impossible. Good news – I'm nearly finished this story, but chapters will still be going on weekly, until I've actually finished. When I'm finished, the chapters should come quicker.**_

_**Until then, enjoy.**_

* * *

**New York**

Cha'ra of Ignisia poked the standard Galaxies Spacelines food suspiciously with her spoon. She looked up at her companion, and came to one conclusion.

"I have no idea what this is."

A scrutinised his food just as suspiciously. "I think it's supposed to be milk."

Cha'ra wrinkled her nose at the small floating lumps in the white liquid. "Then I suppose that's cereal?"

The two looked at each other, and made a unanimous decision to, one, never go on a Galaxies Spacelines flight again, and two, never eat standard transport food.

"It's quite a poor imitation of human food." A noted as he pushed the bowl away.

"Truer words were never spoken." Cha'ra agreed, sitting back in her chair. "Do you know what our estimated time of arrival is?"

" 'bout another half an hour before we drop out of hyperspeed." A answered.

"Yes!" Jay hissed in victory, and pumped her fist, before gathering her composure. "I, uh, apologise for the unseemly behaviour." Cha'ra stumbled slightly over her words.

It was surprisingly difficult to stay in the cold, composed ambassador that Cha'ra was, as the two former MiB agents got closer to earth. A had no such problems – bodyguards weren't required to act in a seemly and orderly way, as long as they did their job.

A couldn't help but pity the young woman sitting across from him – she had been forced into a role she obviously didn't want to be in, and on top of that, had to pretend to be someone she obviously wasn't (the brash Jay he knew wouldn't have bothered with fancy words, and probably would have resorted to physical violence).

But now, he could see more and more of Jay in Cha'ra. Like the way she was fidgeting now.

"I'm going to head back, and…check on my stuff…amongst other things." Cha'ra (more Jay, now) declared as she stood up.

"Might be a good idea to change as well." A called after her.

It was definitely Jay who turned around, shot A a grin, and gave him a sloppy two-fingered salute.

A got up from the booth, stretched and yawned. It was probably a good idea to change back into the MiB business suit now, before the ship landed. Not that he minded the Ignisian garb – it was just a bit too…Roman for his tastes.

After all, manly guys did not go around wearing dresses.  
("Are…are you wearing a dress?"  
"It's a robe!").

Hiding a grin, A left for his quarters, and the Cruiser _Solanacae_ flew ever closer to Earth.

#MIB#

Elle was not one to show nervousness, although she supposed that accidentally snapping the tip of the pencil by writing too hard was probably a good indication that she was undeniably nervous.

Emperor Skahn towered over most people, and also tended to terrify most people as well.

Elle decided that it was safe to say that while on most occasions she was not 'most people', she knew she belonged in the 'most people' category this time.

"Years ago," the tall alien began softly in a dangerous voice, "I would have been exceedingly violent and would not have hesitated in blowing up your planet. That violent man-" -Skahn smashed Zed's desk in half- "-can be easily called upon again!"

_Oh, he's doomed._ Elle watched Zed twiddle his thumbs nervously. A second, less important note came to her. _That desk was mahogany. It's going to cost a lot to replace it._

"Emperor Skahn, please," Zed tried to salvage the situation, "we have our best agent on the job already-"

"The same one that lost my daughter in the first place?" The large alien growled darkly.

Beside Elle, X had the audacity to roll his eyes. _Obviously not, you idiot. We're both standing right here, aren't we?_

Elle was just thankful that Skahn was short-sighted.

"No, of course not," Zed placated Skahn, "agent Kay is already on it."

"I am giving you two standard galactic weeks." The Emperor warned, and stomped his way out.

As soon as the door slammed shut, Elle blurted out "You sent Kay off by himself?"

A sly, most unbecoming grin appeared on Zed's face. "Of course not. U's with him."

Elle sighed. It would appear that Zed hadn't completely forgiven Kay for putting U in charge.

#MIB#

"He's giving us _two_ standard galactic weeks?" Kay sounded mildly impressed.

"_I know, right? He's being quite generous."_ Elle chuckled on the other end. _"If I recall correctly, the Zeronians only gave us one standard galactic week."_

A lesser man would have shuddered at the memory - it was certainly a Halloween Night to remember. "Keep me posted, Elle."

"_Will do. Over and out."_

"Ugh. Hate it when she does that." U muttered. "Doesn't she understand that this isn't a radio?"

Discretely, Kay took a deep breath, held it, then let it out slowly again. Granted, it was probably his own fault for his current annoyance, but it didn't make enduring the annoyance any easier-

"I don't see why we have to clean up Elle and X's mess."

Kay really, really missed Jay.

#MIB#

The next time A saw his travelling companion again, she was definitely Jay.

"We're about to come out hyperspeed, aren't we?" The grin was contagious, and A found himself smiling back.

"Right now, if I'm not mistaken."

As if on cue, the ship jolted gently, and the Cruiser stopped. Jay glanced out the window. A familiar planet shone from the blackness of space. Jay grinned again. So far, the two had been travelling incognito, and no one had recognised them yet. And now they were within the MiB's jurisdiction, and _hey, things might go as planned as once._

Jay forgot to take one thing into account.

Murphy's-freaking-Law.

As the Cruiser drifted closer to earth, an odd blue haze covered the ship, and alarms started blaring throughout the whole place.

Jay sighed. _Spoke too soon._ she mused wryly before taking off for the cockpit, right behind A.

A pulled open the door of the cockpit, and the two MiB agents squeezed into the already crowded cockpit.

"Captain?" A asked the Cephalapoid pilot. "What's going on?"

The Captain waved one of his tentacles at one of the monitor screens. "Tractor beam."

"Tractor beam?" Jay dodged around the Remoolian co-pilot, and squeezed between the two aliens to get a closer look at the monitor.

"Oi!" the Remoolian leapt up, "No civilians in the cockpit."

"Chillax, man," Jay flashed her badge at the dog-like alien, "we're MiB."

"Oh." The hackles on the Remoolian lowered, and he sat down again.

Before Jay could do anything else, the large monitor used specifically for transmitting messages from ship to ship crackled to life.

"Captain of the _Solanacae_," the odd looking alien declared from the monitor, "this is a hold up."

A glanced at Jay.

_I think he means 'stick-up'._ Jay mouthed.

A looked mildly amused. _Amateurs._ He mouthed back to Jay.

The alien wasn't finished with his demands. "We know you're carrying a very important passenger on your ship."

The alien finally had the two agents' attention. Jay narrowed her eyes. No one, save for a few particular agents back at MiB knew that the ambassador of Ignisia was coming on the _Solanacae_.

"So, here are our demands. You see, the tractor beam is pulling the cruiser at…very slow rate, and your ship isn't designed to withstand the prolonged exposure of heat. Re-entry to Earth is going to be quite… hot. To save yourselves, hand over the Ambassador of Ignisia, and we'll free you from the tractor beam. We'll give you two minutes to decide, Captain. Time's ticking." The alien sounded positively gleeful as he finished, and the monitor went dark.

"Ambassador?" the Captain repeated in utter confusion. "What Ambassador?"

A was otherwise occupied. "Jay," he whispered urgently to the younger agent, "he's a Frostifarian."

"A what?" Jay hissed back, still eyeing the two pilots trying to figure a way out of this mess.

"A Frosty." A shortened the name. "They're not usually violent. They're a peaceful species. Do you know if anything happened while I was…not myself?"

Jay shook her head. "Never heard of them before today."

A shot her a flat look. "You haven't read the MiB handbook, have you?"

Jay's sheepish grin was enough of an answer. A slapped his palm against his face. "Figures."

"Woah, let's stop picking on my habits and focus on what we're going to do." Jay already had an idea as to what her plan was, and chances were, A wouldn't like it.

"Yes, indeed." A replied sarcastically. "Oh what on earth shall we do?" A continued in a melodramatic voice, "We can't just hand you over because poor old you would be defenceless and be unable to call for back-up- Are you listening?"

"Nope." Jay answered truthfully, and instead, tapped the pilot cheerfully on the shoulder. "Yo, Captain."

The Cephalapoid stopped in his frantic discussion with the Remoolian, and looked at her. "Yes?"

"I'm the Ignisian. I'll hand myself over." Jay then dragged A over. "This here is Agent A. He'll contact the MiB as soon as I'm gone, won't you?" she directed the last part at A.

"Wait," A spluttered, "I never agreed!"

The monitor flickered to life, and the same alien appeared. "Well, Captain? What's your decision?"

Jay gave the Captain a cheery thumbs up, and nodded for him to go ahead.

_Crazy Ignisians._ The Captain shook his head ruefully, before addressing the Frostifarian. "You've got yourself an Ignisian, buddy." _Good luck handling her._

"Good." The Frostifarian smiled nastily. "Tell the ambassador to meet us head on. No tricks, understand?"

The Cephalapoid nodded.

There was another jolt, and the _Solanacae_ sped towards Earth at a definitely faster rate than before. Finally, the monitor went black again, and the pilots let out a collective sigh of relief.

A, on the other hand, was furious. "You, young lady, are an idiot. What were you thinking?" Then, "Were you _even_ thinking?"

"No." Jay admitted. "But we'd better prepare ourselves, right?"

A grumbled something uncomplimentary about Jay's intelligence, or lack thereof. He stomped out of the cockpit, muttering a quick "Tell me when we reach the atmosphere." to the pilot on his way out.

Jay called after the older agent. "You are going to call guys at MiB, aren't you, A? …A?"

#MIB#

Jay absolutely hated Fmooan tranquilisers. It was thing that had brought her to Ignisia in the first place, and it was the first thing that welcomed her back to Earth.

Technically, Jay could argue that the wind rushing against her face when she parachuted from a safe altitude ("Jay! Nooo! We're not low enough yet!") was the first thing that greeted her. Or she could go back further, and decide that the satellite the tractor beam nearly drew the Cruiser into was really the first.

All musings aside, though, Jay knew one thing was definite.

Fmooan Tranquiliser + Partially Human Target = Nausea Upon Waking

" #$%." Jay grumbled, before forcing herself to her feet, using the wall as support.

_Wait. Wall?_ Her mind finally caught up. She was no longer in the wide open field she had landed in. Instead, a rough brick wall surrounded her on all sides, and the wooden door (her kidnappers obviously weren't very well informed about Ignisians) was closed firmly.

Jay's eyes swept over the objects in the room – the table, the chair, the light bulb, the guy sitting at the table, the laughably wooden door-

Jay did a double take, and looked at the guy sitting at the table again. Or more accurately, the young, disgruntled alien girl staring at Jay from the safety of the table.

"Who're you?"

* * *

_**Yes, who indeed?**_


	2. Concrete Jungle

**Concrete Jungle**

"Wait-" Jay shot another fireball at the wooden beams of the ice cream factory, "-your dad's a terrorist?"

"Well," Keema ducked behind a crate at Jay's beckoning, "he's the emperor."

Jay dispatched the Frostifarian with a well-placed punch. "That doesn't answer my question."

"Oh, I don't know!" Keema wailed, and Jay suppressed an eye roll.

_Teenagers._

"Come on, this way!" Jay dragged the alien girl after her, and the two hurtled across the open mixing room, before diving into the doorway leading to the hallway.

Distantly, Jay heard the cursing of the Frostifarians before brushing the voices aside. "There's got to be an exit here somewhere." She muttered as they ran down the hallway.

"There!" Keema pointed to her right, at a green exit sign. Jay changed course, and headed for the exit.

Jay threw open the door, poked her head out, and nearly ran into another Frostifarian.

In the course of the previous five minutes, Jay had punched, kicked, and fought her way through a whole horde of Frostifarians. They were all starting to look the same to her. This one, however, struck a chord in her memory.

"Hang on a sec." Jay stopped dead, and Keema nearly barrelled into her back. "You're the guy who called the _Solanacae_."

The Frostifarian leader made the common mistake of underestimating Jay's size. He snarled, and swiped at the two. Jay caught the outstretched arm, ducked underneath it, and twisted it behind the Frostifarian's back. Before the alien could do anything more than yelp in pain, Jay slammed the hulking Frostifarian into the ground, and dug her knees into the small of his back.

"How'd you know I'd be on that ship?" Jay asked in an eerily calm voice.

"I'm not talk-"

"Oh, yes, you are." Jay pulled his arm. "Now, squawk. Who told you?"

"Ow, ow, ow!" the Frostifarian whined. "My arm! Alright, alright, I'll talk!"

Jay loosened her grip slightly. "Who?"

"I don't know!" the Frostifarian seemed determined to not get his arm twisted again. "He always called through a voice scrambler and he offered to pay-"

"What did he want with Keema?" Jay cut across him. Contrary to popular belief, Jay was not interested in the dealings of crooks.

Funnily enough, the Frostifarian scoffed. "Pfft. Ain't got anything to do with that girl. It's you he's after…Don't ask me why, 'cause I don't know!" he added quickly, when Jay's grip tightened slightly.

"Fine, then." Jay did not let him go. "Why'd you go for Keema?"

"Have you seen what her devil of a father has done?" the Frostifarian countered.

Jay blinked. _Well, no._

The Frostifarian leader took her silence accurately as a no. "He blew up our planet and destroyed most of our people. Now, answer this, oh-dear-ambassador, if I went and blew up your home, wouldn't you go for justice?"

Jay pondered the question for a moment. Earth – obliterated. Ignisia – obliterated. "Yes."

"So you understand me. Let me go-"

"I wasn't finished." Jay growled darkly. "Like I said, I would. But it's not justice when innocents are in the way. Keema has nothing to do with this. It's her old man you want to pick a bone with."

The Frostifarian spluttered, searching for an argument.

"So," Jay continued, "I suggest you take it up with him. Oh, and by the way, a quick word of advice;" she added brightly, "next time you decide to kidnap an Ignisian, don't use wooden doors to lock them in."

#MIB#

It had taken a full thirty minutes for any word of the kidnapped Keema to come up, in the form of a poorly disguised ransom call.

It had only taken five seconds for Idikiukup to track the call, and another two seconds for Bob to send the coordinates to both Kay and U, and Elle and X.

It took another ten minutes for the four to arrive at the old ice cream factory (X was driving, and Kay used the red button).

Ten seconds after, Jay and Keema stumbled out of the old building, with a cowed Frostifarian in tow.

Elle, to say in the least, was overjoyed to see her friend again. X was impressed that the ice-cream factory was still standing, especially after Jay had been finished with it.

"Weren't you supposed to arrive later today, on the _Solanacae_?"

Elle sighed. If she had been a sappy, girly-girl who loved a good romance story, she would have wailed at the sheer _professionalism_ and the complete lack of sentiment in Kay's enquiry. _Leave it up to Kay to be the detached professional._ _Of all the things he could have said…_

Apparently, Jay had picked something up in her old partner's voice that Elle hadn't.

"There was a change of plans." Jay shrugged.

Kay quirked an eyebrow at the Frostifarian behind her. "Tractor beam?"

"That, amongst other things."

…

Kevin Brown was not a sentimental man to begin with, and therefore, it made sense that Agent Kay was even less so.

Of course, Jay already knew that, and probably would not be offended if he got straight to the point (i.e., why on earth she hadn't come down with the _Solanacae_) instead of wasting time by waxing meaningless poetry. Plus, U was also within earshot, and Kay had no wish for a horde of paparazzi to try and drag details out of the hapless man.

And that was why Jay wasn't riding the LTD with them. Instead, she travelled with Elle, who had somehow managed to kick X out of the black jeep and into the LTD.

Two humans, one Jee Danian, one alien daughter of an anger prone dictator and one slightly overweight Frostifarian made a tight fit. Personally, Kay was just thankful that he was the driver, and did not have to push the elbow of said Frostifarian out of his face every few seconds, like X had to.

U probably wasn't that much happier, as he had to do the same.

#MIB#

Jay wasn't sure exactly what to expect when she got back to headquarters. Everything looked as she remembered it two years ago.

Maybe except for the now glass office of Zed's.

And that the Twins had gotten an oval-ish screen.

And maybe that janitor which reminded Jay of too much of the Felinian who had left Kay as a cat for two weeks.

"Elle?" Jay indicated her head towards the janitor, who had replaced Zelgar-The-Lunatic-Janitor-Who-Had-Tried-To-Suck-Everyone-Into-A-Black-Hole.

"What?" Elle glanced at Jay.

"Who's that?"

Elle followed Jay's line of view and found the new janitor at the end of it. "Oh, him? Zeelo's just the new janitor."

"I gathered that." Jay supplied wryly. "I meant his background."

"He's a Felinian." Elle started to explain, then had to hold Jay back from running across the Hub and giving the janitor a piece of her mind. "Wait! He's not one of the rebels you remember!"

"Oh yeah? He certainly looks like him!" Jay was still suspicious, but she had stopped.

"Well, I can honestly promise you that he's not." Elle replied simply. Just as Jay's hackles were about to drop completely, Elle let the other boot drop. "He's actually the second cousin, thrice removed."

Before Jay could continue on her original course, the timely arrival of Kay, U, and X from the detention cells prevented anything from escalating.

"There a problem?" Kay looked between Elle and Jay.

"Just introducing Jay to the new janitor." Elle waved a hand in Zeelo's general direction.

"Ah." Kay seemed satisfied with the current state of affairs – judging by the way that Jay was not attacking the janitor by now, Kay could assume that she had taken the news relatively well (better than X did, anyway).

U opened his trap, and Kay winced internally at whatever was going to come out of his mouth. To the stoic agent's relief, U was interrupted by none other than Emperor Skahn. Of course, there was no indication of his relief, other than a small flicker in his eyes.

The relief quickly turned into minute horror when Kay realised that _Emperor Skahn_ had just joined them. He had a feeling this was going to end violently.

"So…" the tall alien sneered down at the five, before narrowing in on Jay, who met his gaze unflinchingly, "I assume you're agent Jay."

"You assume correctly." Jay lifted her chin stubbornly, and wished that she was taller. If she kept this up, her neck was going to be very sore very soon.

"I've heard about your enquiries into my business." Skahn continued dangerously.

"Indeed, I did." Jay – more Cha'ra now – answered politely, in a detached air.

"And I can say that it is none of your business as to what I have done in the past." _And can and will do without regret._ Skahn finished, with a threatening tone at the end.

"Then perhaps you should worry about your business," Cha'ra suggested lightly, "as your daughter nearly payed the price today."

If there was one thing of Jay's that Elle found particularly annoying, it was, to mince an expression, poking a twelve foot tall bear who had the strength of the Hulk.

Previously mentioned Bear-Hulk was also rapidly turning into a nice shade of eggplant, and looked about ready to smash something delicate and breakable. A small, Avengers-Fanatic part of Elle fantasized about Skahn bellowing "Hulk smash!" before…well, smashing.

Skahn did no such thing. Technically, he did not actually yell out the trademark words, but he certainly did smash.

Jay caught the fist with both hands, before it could connect with the top of her head, and squeezed tightly. "Plus, you should really consider signing up for anger management classes." She advised the large alien calmly, and finally let the hand go. Skahn, nursing his hand, glared at Jay before skulking away with the dignity of a wounded cat.

_Crisis averted._ Kay was thankful. If Skahn had chosen to stay and pick a fight… Kay shook his head. They would probably have to end up scraping him off the ceiling.

Jay met the barely concealed incredulous looks from the other four. "What?"

"Uh…" X made a note to not mess with Jay unnecessarily, "don't worry. It's no biggie."

"Okay…you're definitely hiding something." Jay folded her arms, and looked unconvinced. Before Jay could pursue the matter, another thought occurred to her. "Say, did the _Solanacae_ ever arrive? And has anyone seen my bodyguard?"

Kay snorted at the word 'bodyguard'. Whoever it was, he or she certainly hadn't done a very good job if they had allowed Jay to be kidnapped. "Who is your bodyguard?" He asked, just out of interest.

For the first time since he had seen her again, Jay seemed to be stuck for words. "Uh… well, you see, he's…"

Kay was mildly bemused. Before he could say "Get to the point, Slick," he stiffened as a very familiar voice came from behind him.

"Thought I'd never get out of customs…" the owner of the voice caught sight of Kay, "You never write, you never call, Kay."

"That," Jay winced, as Kay whirled around and upper-cut the man formerly known as Alpha, "is my bodyguard."

Elle sighed. _Paperwork, here I come._


	3. Where Dreams Are Potatoes

_**Things go downhill pretty quickly, and Zeelo, the new janitor, is being a jerk.**_

* * *

**Where Dreams Are Potatoes**

"No." Kay declared flatly.

"Ugh!" Jay ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "Look, I've spent two years with him, and he's not evil!"

"Don't be so sure." Kay shot back darkly.

"Really?" Jay countered sarcastically, "How come _you're_ so sure he can't be trusted?"

"I wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw an Fmeck." Kay rarely raised his voice. He was determined to not do so now. He was also failing spectacularly.

An Arquillian coming down the hallway heard the last few words, shot Kay a panicked look, and immediately turned his exo-suit around. He could always go to the med-bay the long way around, the Arquillian reasoned. _And I'll be away from the nasty violent people._

The two agents, who were currently arguing outside of the interrogation room, noticed none of this.

"So, you wouldn't trust him even if he took the truth serum?" Jay demanded. _Which he's doing right now._

"No-" Kay began.

X finally exited the interrogation room, and announced, rather obliviously to the tension, "Nothing to report. He's clean. No intentions of appendage removal or homicide whatsoever." Elle's sharp jab to his ribs was a little late.

"-not even then." Kay finished with an air of finality.

"Oh, for _**Hyakutake's***_ sake!" Jay snapped. "I swear you don't have any empathy in you!"

"I don't." Kay stated the words, like they were a fact of life, which they weren't – not that Kay would ever admit it.

"Jay-" Elle hoped to stop the brash and more than likely harsh words that Jay may let lose. It had only a small effect.

"Fine," Jay amended, "You might have a tiniest bit of emotions-"

Elle was about to let out a discrete sigh of relief, until she heard Jay's words.

"-probably about the range of a teaspoon."

Elle did not resist the face-palm.

Not unexpectedly, Kay steered clear of Jay, and Jay steered clear of Kay after that.

#MIB#

_Idiots. They're all complete, utter idiots._

Elle mused that she may have been just a bit cynical with her previous thought.

_Jay and Kay are complete, utter idiots. And Zed too. X, as much as it pains me to say it, not so much._

One of the previously mentioned idiots was sitting in the cafeteria across from her, and was currently scowling into a coffee mug, which the Worms had provided upon taking one look at Jay's expression. Elle felt like doing the same – scowling, not drinking coffee – as she thought back to Zed's decision to pair up the two obviously fighting agents.

_Just how oblivious can they be?_ First there was X, who was completely unaware of the crackling annoyance between the 'Best of the Best' Team. Then there was Zed, who, to Elle's endless mystification, had not picked up on the iciness between the two.

Heck, even the _Worms_ noticed, and that had to be saying something.

Elle wasn't even going to get started on Jay or Kay. Those two had to be the most boorish, brainless, stubbornest arses of the whole…

"Hi, Elle!" a bubbly voice suddenly spoke up from behind the blonde agent. "Who's your friend?"

Elle pulled a face, then sighed, resigned to dealing with the newcomer. It seemed that everyone and everything was intent on annoying her today. "Agent I. Hello." _Stay civil. Stay civil. Stay civil._

Jay glanced at the clipboard wielding woman behind Elle, then at Elle.

"Jay," Elle twisted around in her chair to gesture at the younger woman behind her, "this is Agent I. I, this is Jay."

" 'Eye', huh? Uh, nice to meet you." Jay stood up, and shook Eye's hand. "I don't remember seeing you before. When'd you join MIB?"

"Oh, about two years ago." Eye grinned, and Jay decided that Eye was possibly very annoying. Eye pushed her thick-rimmed glasses up, and chattered on, oblivious to the slightly pained expression Jay fought to keep away. "Oh, I've heard so much about you…"

Finally, when Eye left nearly fifteen minutes later, Jay sat back down with a groan. "Was she this annoying when she joined? Please tell me she's not a field agent."

"No," Elle chuckled, "she's not a field agent. And yes, I think she was always this annoying."

Jay dropped her head onto her arms, and made a muffled noise of suffering.

"Don't worry," Elle took pity on her stubborn and obstinate friend, "she fangirls over just about everyone. You'll get used to it."

" #$%." Jay mumbled. "She's like a girl version of U-the-Shoe-Shiner."

#MIB#

"So, that meeting you're supposed to attend along with a whole bunch of other ambassadors," Elle said to Jay as the two waved goodbye to V in the clothing pool, "it's going to be about a new form of transport? That's what I heard, by the way."

"Well, it's not really new – more of a revamp. You see, we're thinking of installing teleportation-" Jay broke off with a startled "Eek!" when she nearly tripped over a mop.

"Watch where you're going!" the owner of the mop, Zeelo the Janitor, scowled darkly.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that you'd stick that mop out?" Jay shot back, just as hatefully. The effect was ruined by the pile of clothing in her arms toppling over.

The large, tiger-like Felinian growled, and Elle thought back to her previous assessment of Jay's ability to poke proverbial twelve-foot bears and escape unscathed.

_Make that an eight foot bear with fangs and claws._ Elle eyed the Felinian nervously.

"I wouldn't expect a _human,_" Zeelo spat out the word like it was an infectious disease, "to know how to do something as simple as to stepping over a mop." With that, he stalked off.

Jay glared at him every step of the way, before picking up the spare jackets and shirts.

"Don't worry, he's like that with everyone." Elle put in, and grimaced when she realised how unconvincing her own voice sounded.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Jay muttered, straightening up again, and adjusting the pile.

"Uh, so," Elle brought Jay's attention back to their previous conversation, "you were saying something about teleportation?"

"Hm?" Jay shook herself, and stopped wishing that Zeelo would spontaneously combust, "Oh, yes. Teleportation. You know the idea that's been pitched recently?"

"The one about improving public transport?"

"That's the one," Jay nodded, "anyway, some genius came up with the idea of building Teleportation Stations-" Jay sniggered, and chuckled to herself, "I still can't get over that term-"

"Jay." Elle rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Get to the point."

"Sorry." Jay forced herself back into seriousness. "Um, anyway, they're thinking of building Teleportation Stations intermittently throughout the Milky Way and also the Andromeda Galaxy."

"A union between the two galaxies?" Elle raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound too bad, actually."

"Yeah," Jay grinned, "and it'll make trading easier. And things harder for space pirates."

"Agreed." Elle nodded. Space pirates were just like their earth counterparts – loud, looting, and pesky. "So, why are you here? Not that I'm not happy to see you, or anything. And isn't the meeting not going to happen until a few months?"

"Oh, you see, all the ambassadors throughout the sectors where the Teleportation Stations will be built need to give their consent." Jay suddenly grinned. "And as for the second part of your question, I finally managed to find a new ruler for Ignisia, so I could come back early."

"Really?" Elle sounded surprised. "How?"

"That," Jay smiled at Elle, "is a story best saved for a rainy day."

There was a beat between them.

Then, "You got Cha'ron to be queen, didn't you?"

"How'd you know?" Jay blinked.

"I had a hunch." Elle replied simply. "So, where would the nearest station be? You know, if it goes through."

"I think it was the moon for Earth." Jay tried to remember the file she had read. "I'm pretty sure it was the moon."

The two women walked towards the garage, and a thought suddenly occurred to Elle. "Oh."

"What?"

"I just realised something – Skahn's here for the meeting too." A slow look of horror appeared on Jay's face. Elle nearly smirked when she noted that Jay looked exactly as she felt. "And that means he's going to be there for the whole time."

"Oh, man." Jay muttered as the two clambered into the jeep. "This is not going to end well."

#MIB#

The apartment was exactly as Jay remembered it.

"You're not much of a housekeeper." Elle eyed the messy apartment.

Jay shrugged, and picked up a very outdated magazine. "It runs in the family." She ran a finger down the table, and winced at the dust gathered on her fingertip.

Elle scrutinised the dust. "Well," she remarked lightly, "you'd better start cleaning."

"Yeah." Jay agreed. "I'd better."

"I'll leave you to it, then." Elle started to leave the room, but stopped upon hearing a sigh from Jay. "Problem?" Elle asked as she turned around.

"I-" Jay stopped. "Don't worry. It's no biggie."

Elle rolled her eyes. "You know, now I'm worried. Because you said that."

"Kay and I aren't talking."

Elle folded her arms. _Tell me something I don't know._ "You don't say."

Jay rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "I didn't mean to lose my temper. But…" Jay ran a hand over her face, leaving streaks of dust behind. "He's being so stubborn!"

_Here we go._ Elle prepared herself for listening to a long rant.

"I mean, yes, I get that he has trust issues-"

-Elle resisted the urge to glance at her watch and time exactly how long this was going to take-

"-but you'd think he'd give A a chance, I mean, I've spent two whole years with him, and he hasn't done anything yet, and he even agreed to an interrogation under a truth serum!" Jay finished, gesturing wildly with her hands. "I don't know about you, but how can anyone doubt him then?"

Elle took a deep breath, and quoted back, quite simply, "Like you said, Kay has trust issues. And sometimes, it's not enough to just take someone else's words for it, you know?"

"Doesn't make it any less annoying."

"Oh, you have no idea, Jay." Elle smiled slightly. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll end up talking to Kay again, sometime this week."

Jay sighed. "You're right, Elle. As always."

Elle grinned at the compliment, before a stern tone took over. "But I want the both of you to act like adults, alright?"

"…I make no promises."

* * *

_***Hyakutake – Name of a comet. Look it up.**_


	4. His Lady's Honour

_**Author's Notes: Kay and Jay are a long way off from being rational adults. This chapter's based off 'The Way Out West Syndrome'.**_

_**Warning: Possibly offensive language and racism ahead, but is period accurate.**_

* * *

**His Lady's Honour**

"So you're saying that space grub-"

"Metaphite." Two voices almost absentmindedly corrected Jay's words.

"-whatever," Jay fought the urge to roll her eyes, as good ambassadors certainly did _not_ roll their eyes, "is a crawling nuclear reactor that's going to get larger and larger before it blows?"

"It's more likely that it'll meltdown." Elle muttered, watching the Metaphite still inching ('kilometering' was probably a more accurate description) towards the distant city of Phoenix.

"So we can't blow it up beforehand?" Jay asked the helicopter at large.

Kay gave a vague grunt, and Elle sighed mentally. It seemed that the members of 'the best of the best' team (AKA, Jay and Kay) were still refusing to talk to each other. _So much for acting like adults._ Elle mused sourly.

"I'll take that as a no." Jay muttered under her breath. Two could play at the same game.

Elle grimaced internally. Oh, why oh why hadn't she offered to stay behind and watch Agent A? Instead, X had the luxury of that job, while Elle was stuck with two very stubborn people.

"Perhaps we can ice it?" Kay pointedly ignored Jay, and spoke directly to Elle.

Jay scowled in the co-co-pilot's seat.

"We can try." Elle shrugged, piloted the helicopter to directly above the giant green grub while Kay took aim.

Seconds later, said green grub broke free with a roar, and continued kilometering on its merry way.

"Huh." Jay muttered, just loud enough for Elle to hear clearly, and for Kay to get the general gist of her words. "That went well."

It was Kay's turn to scowl.

#MIB#

If Elle had her way, those two wouldn't be on their way back into 1869. If Elle had her way, she would have locked the two of them in a room until they sorted out their problems. It was no secret that Jay and Kay were arguing (or at least giving each other the silent treatment), and Elle had no wish for being in the middle to become a regular occurrence.

"Jay," Elle beckoned the younger woman over, "I need to have a word with you."

Jay blinked awake, and pushed herself off the side of the black MIB van where she had dozed off. "Whassup, Elle?" she inquired with false cheerfulness.

"Jay," Elle began carefully, and wondered how to go about tackling this issue, "you- no, I-"

"Elle?" Jay's head cocked to one side. "You alright?"

Elle sighed, and ran a hand through her hair. "No- I mean, yes. I'm fine. But I'm worried that you won't be."

"How do you mean?" Jay asked in formal tones, a politician's mask already slipping in place.

"It's not what you think I'm about to say." Elle corrected quickly, still not used to the way Jay could slip from Agent Jay of MiB to Ambassador Ch'ara of Ignisia. "I'm talking about the year you're going back into – it wasn't a good time for your people."

_Oh._ Realisation dawned on Jay's face, and the blank expression softened into a more familiar look. "Elle, don't worry." She smiled jokingly. "I spent two years as a queen. I think I can manage anything the Wild West can throw at me."

Elle scrutinised Jay. "You're going to need to keep your head down, and stay quiet. That's pretty difficult for you. And the things they might say-"

"Chillax," the grin on Jay was more real now, "sticks and stones, Elle. Sticks and stones. I can control my temper."

Then suddenly, the grin dropped from Jay, and Elle saw the reason; Kay was back, no doubt prepared for the mission.

Without further ado, Elle fired up the time jump device, and Jay and Kay disappeared into the green swirling vortex, the tension so thick between them that Elle suspected she wouldn't have managed to cut through it with a newly sharpened chainsaw.

Then the vortex disappeared, and left the blonde agent all by herself.

"It's not _your_ temper I'm worried about, Jay." She said to the empty air.

#MIB#

One sentence. The first proper one Jay said to Kay since their somewhat juvenile argument. Sixteen words.

"That guy's about to be turned into Swiss cheese, and you're just going to stand here?!"

Such a pity it was hissed in an angry whisper.

"Not our problem." Curt. Cutting. Dry as usual. No more than necessary.

"Suit yourself." Jay growled, and before Kay could react, she picked up a nearby whip.

The burly cowboy, in the meantime, hadn't noticed the two arguing in whispers. He was more focused on, in Jay's words, turning the man in front of him 'into Swiss cheese'. "Three, two one…Draw!"

A sharp stinging pain in his hand answered his demand.

Diamondback looked away from his hand, glaring at the person that dared to intrude on his duel. His gaze landed on the two newcomers – an out of town sheriff and his so-called companion. The sheriff was apparently the cause of his pain; he was holding a whip and looking furious.

_Not at me, he ain't._ Diamondback realised.

His 'companion' was currently the object of his ire.

#MIB#

When Kay had realised what Jay had intended to do (and did do), he reached forward and jerked the whip out of her hands, albeit a bit late.

_You idiot!_ He growled mentally, shooting Jay a dark look that clearly promised _We're going to have a long talk about this._ Kay returned his attention back to Diamondback.

"What do ya think you're doin'?" The man was nearly red in the face with anger. "That runt-" he gestured to the other man who had the misfortune of accidentally taking his seat, "-had it comin'!"

"For what?" Jay demanded hotly. "Taking your seat? Well, I've got four words for you-"

Jay broke off when Kay's hand gripped her arm. The 'Suck it up, Princess' remained unsaid.

"I suggest," Kay began coldly to Diamondback, "that you move along before things… escalate."

Despite Jay's annoyance with Kay, she couldn't help but admire the way that he could make larger men cower with a dark glare and icy words. Diamondback was no exception.

Turning away, Kay pulled Jay along, none too gently.

Diamondback was also the type that enjoyed shouting insults.

"What are ya gonna do, ya- ya-" Diamondback searched for an insulting word "-ya _sheriff_?"

If it was possible for anyone to pull off using the word 'sheriff' like a swearword, Diamondback managed.

Jay stiffened. If this had happened two years ago, she wouldn't have hesitated in turning around and taking the ruffian on, in a one-on-one fistfight, racial rights or no. But she promised Elle. _Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there's no way I'm gonna lose my temper. Not even for Kay._

Kay's grip tightened minutely. "Keep walking." he muttered to Jay, having felt her stiffen.

Jay forced herself to keep walking, and not stomp, like a sulking child.

"That's right!" Diamondback crowed. "Walk away, ya little darky! Where's your saucy tongue now?"

_Oh. So now he's targeting me._ Jay stopped and gritted her teeth. _Sticks and stones. Sticks and stones. Sticks and stones._

"Run and hide, ya little whore, 'cause I'm gonna get ya!"

Jay's hands clenched at the insult, and the mantra of _Sticks and stones _was repeated ten more times before Jay calmed down enough. Enough to realise that Kay's hand was no longer on her arm (in fact, it had left the moment Diamondback started to insult Jay), and was currently bunched into a fist, which Diamondback's face had the courtesy of meeting.

"Oh, my." Jay muttered, watching Kay efficiently beating the stuffing out of the man. Then she realised that _Kay _was_ beating the stuffing out of the man._ "Dang it."

However much she might have enjoyed watching Kay doing what she felt like doing, they had a Metaphite to ionize, preferably in a covert fashion. Beating up the bad boy of the town was not considered covert.

Jay indulged in a few choice swearwords before stepping back to the brawl. She braced herself, and in one quick movement, dragged Kay off Diamondback with her hands and made sure Diamondback stayed down with a well-placed foot on his chest.

"Kay," Jay grunted, keeping her partner in a chokehold, "calm down. You've been called worse before."

Kay continued to struggle. "Let. Me. Go." He ground out, which was quite impressive, considering the chokehold. If Kay had been in his right state of mind, and not clouded by anger, he would have escaped easily. The fact that he hadn't escaped yet was testament to his blind anger.

"_After_ you calm down." Jay tightened her grip, just enough to limit Kay's air supply, but not quite enough to choke him completely.

Eventually, Kay stopped, and Jay released him tentatively, watching him closely for any signs of impending violence. When she found none, she nodded in satisfaction, put on her sunglasses, made sure that Kay was wearing his, and pulled out the neuralyser.

"I can't believe I'm playing peacemaker." was all she said before Diamondback gained a new blank in his memories, this one not alcohol induced.

If there was any consolation for Jay, it was that the neuralyser couldn't erase bruises.

#MIB#

"Great. Now we have an alien nursemaid to bust too." Jay grumbled to herself.

"Try not to attract too much attention." Kay warned.

"Practice what you preach." Jay shot back.

The two glared at each other with twin looks of mutual annoyance, before Jay grudgingly turned away and broke off the staring contest. She stalked her way across the room, and vaguely reminded Kay of a riled up cat.

"She's mighty well educated for what she is." A drunken slur observed. "And very impertinent."

Kay tensed at the familiar voice, before he remembered that Jay had neuralysed Diamondback. Kay turned to look at the cowboy, and hid a smug smirk when he saw that Diamondback had a black eye. Kay paused for a second, weighing the pros and cons of saying his next words. Common sense was thrown out the window by protectiveness, and he took great relish in saying "I could say the same for you."

…

Jay nearly dropped the spectrometer when a roar of rage reached her ears from across the pub. She sighed, then put the spectrometer away. _We're never going to catch that Metaphite._

...

"Phoenix is about to be toast. And you two decide to get yourselves thrown in the cooler." Other than Kay, Elle was perhaps the only other person who could pull off a completely unimpressed look in dire situations. _Idiots._ She rolled her eyes.

#MIB#

"You should've seen him, A." Jay told the man formerly known as Alpha with a wide smirk. "Never knew he could throw punches like that."

A smiled in as much satisfaction as Jay smirked. "Oh, you'd be surprised." A drawled casually. "He can – especially when honour is at stake."

"What, the honour of all future law enforcers?" Jay asked wryly as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Nope." A answered, propping up a thick wad of the hotsheets between them. "When his lady's honour is, of course."

The stream of coffee hit the hotsheets harmlessly as Jay choked on the hot liquid. "W-what?" she gasped, eyes tearing, not sure if she was more surprised at hearing herself being called a lady, or hearing A's revelations on Kay's behaviour.

Taking pity, A folded the hotsheets away calmly, got up, and went around the table to Jay. He thumped Jay on her back as she coughed. A bit of coffee had gone down the wrong way.

"What?" Jay repeated, her airway cleared. "No way." She shook her head.

A sighed, and rolled his eyes. "Just because he isn't talking to you doesn't mean he can't care."

"That," Jay pushed the coffee cup away, "was sappy. Even for you."

"It's true." A shrugged off the barb. "I know him better than you do."

Jay sagged forwards and dropped her head on the table. "No argument there." _He's so bloody confusing!_


	5. Something Odd This Way Comes

_**Author's Notes: Featuring split personality Quick Clones. Bit of a filler chapter.**_

_**Title inspired by Macbeth ("By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.")**_

* * *

**Something Odd This Way Comes**

"Zeeltor!" Jay whined. "Knock it off! If you don't, I'll end up being a smear on the floor!"

Zeeltor sighed. "As you wish."

The machine powered off, and Jay got off the platform as fast as humanly possible. "Why'd you just try to squish me with that large metal thing?"

"This 'large metal thing'?" Zeeltor spluttered in indignation. "This 'large metal thing' as you put it, is a state of the art Strength Tester. I was trying to see if what they were saying were true."

"Yeah, well, whatever it was they were trying to say, it wasn't true." Jay frowned. "Hold up. Who's 'they'?"

"Can't say, Jay." Zeeltor mimed zipping his lips. "Doctor-patient confidentiality, you know."

"Fine," Jay rolled her eyes, "but how are you so sure that I would have been able to lift that thing?" she waved a hand towards the machine that vaguely resembled a giant sandwich press.

"Well, I did get four eyewitnesses claiming you were able to successfully repel Skahn's little attack."

_Them?_ Jay palmed her forehead. _It was those guys?_

"Look," Jay explained through clenched jaws, "I do not have super strength. Heck, even A could beat me in an arm wrestling match."

"But-"

"I didn't even stop Skahn's attempt to smash me into smithereens," Jay explained patiently, "I just gathered all the surrounding oxygen molecules to cushion the blow. It just _looked_ like I was catching his punch."

Zeeltor let out a slow "Oh." of realisation. Then he brightened tremendously. "Then I must run a few tests!"

Zeeltor rummaged around his lab. "It's in here somewhere…" Moments later, he emerged triumphantly, holding an all too familiar 'baseball' helmet. "Here it is! You remember this, don't you, Jay?"

"Oh, yes." Jay eyed the helmet with the same trepidation two years ago. "Too well."

"Sit, sit!" Zeeltor pointed to the chair, and Jay sighed before complying.

"We've got lots of testing to do!"

#MIB#

By the end of it all, Jay was tempted to simply flop down on the ground and hibernate for a few weeks. Instead, she picked the chair – the ground was a long way away.

"My, my, agent Jay," Zeeltor looked over the results, "you never cease to amaze."

"Gee, thanks." Jay muttered, utterly exhausted.

"Let's see now," Zeeltor put on a pair of reading glasses, "your agility has improved from the last time you were tested, greater speed, more brain power and…"

"And?" Jay prompted. "Don't leave me hanging, doc."

"…and your strength is still the same, though." Zeeltor frowned over the notes. "Hm. Odd. I would have thought that the ratio of your physical prowess would have increased in sync with the capacity of your mental abilities-"

"Woah, hold it, doc." Jay interrupted hurriedly. "Don't tell me. I can't understand you."

"If you say so." Zeeltor slid the papers into a manila folder, and plodded towards his large chest of drawers.

Jay pulled a horrified face at Zeeltor's 'chest of drawers'. "Is that…is that a cold chamber? For…you know, dead guys?"

"Oh, yes," Zeeltor grinned, "well, it _was_. You know, until I decided to use it to store my files."

He scanned along the rows of small metal doors, until he found the one marked 'J'. "Ah, here we are."

"Okay," Jay did not lose the horrified look, "that's officially _freaking_ creepy, Zeeltor."

"Funny," the blue-skinned alien chuckled, "that's what Kay told me. In less words, of course-Oh!"

"What?!" Jay demanded, fireball lit and ready for throwing at any incoming zombies. "What is it?"

"Your box is not dusty." Zeeltor answered.

"What?" Jay blinked. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"Well, yes, but it should be dusty." Zeeltor scrutinised the inside of Jay's compartment. "I haven't opened this box in months."

"Let me guess," Jay suggested sarcastically, "in twenty-four months?"

"Oh, yes. Exactly!" Zeeltor grinned.

Jay rolled her eyes. "Well, is there anything missing from my…uh, cabinet?"

"How would I know?" Zeeltor asked.

"Well, didn't you put it in there in the first place?" Jay demanded.

"Yes, but," Zeeltor replied testily, "I put it in there so that I didn't have to remember it. Don't you do that? Besides, what's this 'it' we're talking about anyway?"

As the two bickered, it never occurred to Zeeltor that the prototype sample jar for Compound Blue was missing.

#MIB#

"You." Jay growled. "Yes, you with the blonde hair."

Elle ignored X sniggering at the seat across from her, and looked up from her Sudoku puzzle. "Yes?"

"You told Zeeltor I have super strength." Jay hissed dangerously.

"Is that a question or a statement?" Elle asked calmly.

"I don't know. You tell me." Jay growled, and Elle craned her neck to look behind Jay's ear.

Elle put down her Sudoku puzzle with a sigh. "First of all, I did not tell Zeeltor anything. Secondly, tell Zeeltor to stop experimenting with the Quick Clones."

"Hah! There you are!" the real Jay dove into the kitchen, and grabbed the Quick Clone by the back of her jacket. "Come on, Quickie, and quit terrorising the residents."

"Ahem. Jay?" Elle asked archly, when Jay tried to escape without an explanation. "Are you going to explain why there's a copy of you in permanent fury mode running around?"

"Zeeltor." Jay offered as an explanation.

Elle arched an eyebrow delicately. "Please elaborate."

"I don't know what he did!" Jay protested. "I thought I'd stick around and help him out with the new Quick Clone Generator, and the next thing I know, BOOM! I've got two split personality versions of me running around."

Elle sighed. Of course Zeeltor was the cause of it. "Jay, remember what happened last time you had a twin?"

"Yes, I do, thank you very much." Jay groused. "That's exactly why I'm finding my other double… Well, gotta go. Tell me if you see any more of me running around, right?"

"Yeah, will do." X suddenly piped up, smirk growing on his face. "I won't be able to stand more than one of you anyway."

Jay – both of them – blew a raspberry at X.

For what was possibly the third time that morning, Elle rolled her eyes.

#MIB#

"Yo, Kay."

Startled, Kay glanced up from his report of the Metaphite ionisation, and was minutely relieved to find that his ears were in perfect working condition. However, on a whole, he was plain surprised. It was Jay alright. "Jay?"

"Hey, man." She grinned.

Kay gulped. _She's smiling. This can't be good._ Finally, he settled with being polite. "Can I help you?"

"Uh, no, not really." Jay rubbed the back of her neck, and the hair that had been previously covering the side of her neck shifted.

_Thank goodness. _"Tell Zeeltor to stop fiddling with the settings on the Quick Clone Generator." He told her flatly, and returned his attention to the report.

"Actually, it was more of an accident." 'Jay' shrugged. "I think there's a few copies of him running around too."

"Aren't you supposed to act like your original?" Kay gave up on trying to work on the report. If this Quick Clone kept on talking to him, he knew he would never get anything done.

"I…I don't think so. _I'm_ not annoyed at you." 'Jay' admitted. "Just be thankful you didn't get Anger."

"Who?" Kay quirked an eyebrow, interest piqued.

"Anger." She repeated. "I think she went after Elle. Oh, don't worry," she added at Kay's mildly alarmed look, "she's not violent. Just a bit… temperamental."

"So, what are you, then?" Kay asked.

"I don't know yet. Honesty? Bubbly?" 'Jay' shrugged. "Maybe I'm Happy. Man, I sound like one of those seven dwarves." She rubbed her temples.

"From Snow White?" Kay asked.

"Yes-" 'Jay' paused as the full implications of his statement hit her, "wait. You watched that movie?"

"In my defence, it was a long time ago." Kay replied.

'Jay' grinned. "I didn't hear a no."

Kay ignored her statement, and pointedly started typing again.

'Jay' didn't give up so easily. "So, whachya working on?"

Kay glanced at the Quick Clone out of the corner of his eyes, and returned his gaze to the screen sharply.

" 'Metaphite of 1869'? " 'Jay' read the title of the report.

"Otherwise known as file 00263895." Kay ground out.

"I think the title could be more creative. Like 'The Attack Of Three Feet Cocoon' or something." 'Jay' scanned through the file. "Hey, I remember this."

"Remember what?" the brown-haired human asked with understandable trepidation.

"This mission." 'Jay' answered, before considering her words. "Well, specifically speaking, you beating up that creepy guy 'cause he called me a…well, you know."

Silence hung between the two, until the Quick Clone spoke again.

"Thanks for that, by the way."

Kay blinked in surprise. "You're welcome…I suppose."

'Jay' smiled at him again. "I… I probably should get going before I melt all over your shoes."

"Oh." A small part of Kay knew that he would miss talking to 'Jay', even if it was just a Quick Clone. _At least this one's not annoyed with me and actually talks._ "See you around, then."

"Bye." The Quick Clone paused at the Computer Lab door. "Oh, by the way, I know Jay Classic would never admit this, but she's flattered by what you did."

Before Kay could gather up any words to say in answer, the Quick Clone added another sentence.

"Just maybe not impressed, though. See you later!" The Quick Clone turned to go, and ran into two Jays.

"Say, have you seen- oof!" Jay – the original – picked herself off the floor. "Never mind, I found-" she broke off when she realised who was in the Computer Lab.

"You!" the second Jay sprang off the floor, triumphantly and pointed melodramatically at Kay. "I knew it!"

"Oi, knock it off!" the real Jay snapped irritably and lightly slapped the Quick Clone's out stretched finger, before turning sheepishly to Kay. "Uh…I got to get them back to Zeeltor." Without waiting for an answer, she dragged both Jays out of the Computer Lab.

Kay spent another second staring at the empty doorway in bemusement, before shaking his head and going back to the still unfinished report.

_That was odd._ He mused. _But not in a bad way._

#MIB#

"You know," Jay voiced her thoughts to her two Quick Clones, "I would've expected Anger and Happiness, as opposed to Anger and Honesty."

Her two Quick Clones shrugged. "Hey, just be thankful you didn't get Mad Genius and Brainiac."

Jay stopped, and whirled around to stare at Anger and Honesty. "What?"

"Zeeltor's." Honesty offered as an explanation.

"What she said." Anger examined her nails, and jerked her thumb in Honesty's direction.

"Figures." Jay rubbed her temples.


	6. Nostalgia

_**Author's Notes: Set during and after 'The Lost Continent Syndrome'**_

* * *

**Nostalgia**

Kay was not fond of water. He remembered hating water when he was a cat. He liked the stuff even less, especially if he was in danger of drowning. What made it worse was that Quentoon could watch him like a cat eyeing a goldfish in a bowl.

The irony wasn't lost on Kay.

Of course, now that Quentoon was also plastered against the glass (not that Kay was _plastered_, he was merely _leaning, _thank you very much), Kay could see why Jay had remarked that abstaining from sleep until the Zarkanian Empire rose again was a bad idea. Banishing away the childish thought and fighting to hide his twitching lips, Kay ignored the wrinkles decorating the large Zarkanian's face before him.

On the other side of the glass, Quentoon said something along the lines of "wouldn't have bothered if I'd known there'd only be two of you,", and Kay fought to keep a straight face as he watched one particular wrinkle change shape in the most fascinating way-

_Darn it, Jay. You're going to make me laugh, and you're not even here._ Then, at the thought of Jay, the mirth melted away. _Jay. Where is she?_

"What have you done to my partner?" Kay was pleased when his voice came out evenly and smoothly.

Quentoon grinned, as if he knew he finally had Kay's attention. "Brace yourself, old boy. I'm afraid Agent Jay is sleeping with the fishes."

Kay looked up at the screen Quentoon gestured to, and suppressed a flinch when he saw his partner lying still.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she would be _feeding_ the fishes too." Quentoon gave a satisfied smile at the brief look of panic on Kay's face, before it turned to a frown. "Still, I thought that ray was supposed to vaporise any human it touched." He shrugged. "Oh well. She's probably fried anyway."

Kay stopped the flurries of panic before they could start. _No, she's fine, remember? She was still talking when the ray hit. Don't you dare die on me, Jay._

As if in response, the gill slits around Jay's neck fluttered, and Kay let out a sigh of relief.

…

Of all the wake-ups Jay had ever experienced, the one she just had was probably the worst.

Of course, on most occasions, Jay never woke up feeling like she had been dropped into a boiling vat of oil, pulled out, then dropped back in again and being knocked on the head. In other words, she hurt all over, she had no idea where Kay was and she had _gills_.

_At least there isn't a fin._ Jay consoled herself. It was odd – for a moment, Kay had actually made a joke. That in itself was unusual. The fact that he had told a joke to _her_ while they were fighting was even more, well, weird. And then Kay had to go and wake her up with that horrible high pitched squealing.

That brought her back to the crux of the problem – finding Kay. "Where are you, man?" Jay muttered. Then- "Never mind. Just caught a whiff of that moose-juice you call cologne."

#MIB#

Jay's first impression was that Marcell Marso, the unfortunate alien who was stuck with Agent C for (_what was it, five, ten years?_) a very long time, didn't have much to say.

She was wrong.

"Quite personally, I prefer marshmallows over chocolate. Although sprinkles are good too."

_Oh well._ Jay was grateful for the noise. It was definitely better than the alternative – joining Kay and Bob in the cockpit, and sitting in awkward silence – and it wouldn't be awkward just for Bob. It would be for all involved.

Jay let her head fall back against the hull of the helicopter, and her attention returned back to the large alien's talking.

"-anyway, I'm surprised you two managed to stop Quentoon at all."

"What?" Jay's eyes snapped to Marcell. "What do you mean?"

"Uh, no offense," Marcell backtracked, "I'm just saying, when you two entered the sub, man, I thought you two were going to kill each other or something."

Jay's face fell. "We…we really looked like that?"

"Well, not _exactly_, mind you." Marcell answered. "Just similar."

Jay tuned out again, guilt coursing through her mind as she remembered that terrifying moment when she had entred Quentoon's little underwater…housing, and found Kay on the verge of drowning. She hadn't even bothered to use the Noisy Cricket. Apparently, fireballs fuelled by fear and worry worked just as well.

And Kay, being his typical self, had merely taken a deep breath (of air) and said "Quentoon's getting away," to which Jay had responded with "I'm all over it!"

It was almost like old times…but it was most definitely _not_ old times. The fact that she wasn't talking to Kay right now was testament.

However, Jay was surprised when Kay sought her out after landing back at MiB headquarters.

"What?" Jay felt slightly self-conscious when she caught Kay studying her. _Oh, no. I've got something on my face, don't I?_

Kay paused, as if he was considering his next words. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine." Jay answered curtly, before turning away.

"…I think you should let Zeeltor check up on you." Kay said suddenly, just as Jay reached the hangar doors.

Jay clenched her jaw. "I'm fine." She repeated, before walking on. Jay heard the soft thuds of Kay's footsteps, and she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Just," Kay's grip tightened slightly, "just go see Zeeltor, alright?"

Jay stopped at the pleading tone in his voice. She turned around, and looked deep into Kay's eyes. Kay's eyes were filtered by concern, fear, and just the slightest touch of frustration.

"Fine." She conceded wearily. "I'll go see Zeeltor. But only if you come."

"Why?"

At the one, simple, nonchalant word Kay spoke, weariness churned, and the worry and fear she had felt all day transformed into anger.

"Why?" Jay repeated dangerously. "Because you nearly died!"

"I wasn't the one who got-" Kay started to protest.

"-Deep fried by a laser? Well, I've got news for you!" Jay knew she was shouting by now, and didn't really care. "I'm. Not. Human. I never was."

"Jay-"

"Just listen!" Jay was determined to finish. "_You _were the one who nearly drowned. _You _were the one who got caught in a nuclear blast!"

Kay had a sinking feeling that he knew what was going to come next, considering she could have gotten the details from Marcell Marso on the trip back.

"And _you're_ the one who nearly killed himself while trying to save the rest of the world!" Jay finished, breathing heavily. Throughout the course of her tirade, she had gone from a metre away from Kay to up close and personal. Her hands were fisted in his lapels, and she tugged him down almost viciously to her eye-level.

"Do you have any idea how f*cking worried I was?" Jay asked in a hoarse whisper, and to her horror, found that tears were threatening to well up. With a minute amount of satisfaction, she noted that Kay looked guilty. When Jay felt his arms come around her, she buried her face at the base of his neck without hesitation, with the same trust she always had.

"I," Kay rested his chin on the top of Jay's head, "I apologise for worrying you."

" 'pology accepted." came the muffled reply from below.

Kay glanced around the hangar before gently pulling Jay to one of the crates. Together, they sat down, but neither moved away from the other. It was a few minutes before anyone spoke.

"You know," Kay remarked lightly, "if people catch us together, they might assume that we're back on speaking terms." Regardless, he did not remove his arm from Jay's shoulders.

Jay snorted, although it came out as more of a sniffle. "Just because I'm pissed off at you, doesn't mean I can't worry. And we're still going to see Zeeltor together."

"I think we've both established the fact that we're perfectly healthy, Slick." Kay muttered wryly.

"You were still caught in a nuclear blast." Jay retorted, though it held none of the anger it had earlier. "And I will make sure you get there. Even if I have to drag you there myself."

"Even if I kick and scream the whole way, Sport?" Kay suggested slyly.

"Oh, please." Jay rolled her eyes. "I think we both know you're too dignified for that."

#MIB#

"Did you two even talk, or did you spend the whole mission in stoic silence?" X sounded interested.

"Why do you need to know?" Jay narrowed her eyes suspiciously, as her fist slammed into the training droid's head, and it crumpled to the ground, before trying to get back up.

"Well," X ducked beneath his droid's swing, "everyone knows you two are fighting-"

"What? How?"

X kicked the droid back, and its lights spluttered out. "You haven't been…uh, private about it."

"Point taken." Jay finished off her droid with a leg sweep. "But I digress. Why do you want to know?"

A mischievous grin appeared on X's face. "Gossip. Duh, little ears."

Jay did a very un-ambassadorish thing – she poked her tongue at X. "Keep dreaming. I ain't telling anyone." She turned around, ready to leave the training hall.

"Except Elle?" X called after her.

Jay's shoulders slumped. "Except Elle." She admitted sheepishly.

#MIB#

"Jay, just give it time." was Elle's suggestion. "You two will cool down eventually, and then the talking will come. Besides, you two kinda talked today, right?"

"Elle," Jay sighed sadly, "I yelled. He listened. I don't think that counts as 'talking'." Jay sketched quotation marks around the word. "Besides, I've already waited two years."

"Well, in that case," Elle suddenly smirked, "you'd better hurry up."

Jay blinked, wary of the glee on her best friend's face. "Why?"

"Aileen and Eddy are due to arrive in two hours."

To Jay's credit, she didn't scream 'WHAT?!' at the top of her voice. She was too controlled for that. It didn't stop her from letting loose an expletive, though. " #$%!"

"That's a new one." Elle commented lightly. "Is it in Ignisian?"


	7. Escape

_**Let's pretend that the first appearance of Eddy was with the Inanimate, shall we?**_

* * *

**Escape**

The large prisoner transport ship powered down, and the ramp lowered. Jay smiled when she saw her friend Eddy.

Beside her, Kay gave a two-fingered salute to the smaller figure next the hulking alien. "It's been a while, Aileen."

"Hello, Kay." Aileen smiled. "Always good to see you."

Jay, on the other hand wasn't near as formal. " 'Sup, Eddy. How've you been doing?"

"As well as can be expected." The usually stoic alien cracked a smile.

While the two 'rookies' were talking, Kay and Aileen had wandered off, and Jay let out a sigh of relief.

"Why is it," the large alien shook his head with a smile, "that every time I see you, you are having problems with Kay?"

"I'm pretty sure it's because of you." Jay teased.

Eddy rolled his eyes. "Would you care to check on our prisoner with me?"

"Why not?" Jay shrugged. "It's not like I have anything better to do." Jay followed Eddy up the ramp, and a thought occurred to her. "Say, who is your prisoner anyway?"

"A bad egg, that I can say." Eddy answered as the two entered the ship. "She's a Kylothian. Princess Serleena."

"A princess?" Jay voiced her disbelief. "Wouldn't that be like declaring war on the Kythians?"

"Ky_lo_thians," Eddy corrected Jay, "and no, because her family has disowned her."

"Oooh. That's harsh."

"Not really." Eddy led Jay down one of the hallways of the ship. "Especially if you take into account of the fact that she murdered half of her own family and destroyed six planets."

Jay winced. "Wow. How'd you guys catch her, then?"

"She was targeting a relative of mine." Eddy's ominous tone sent shivers down Jay's spine.

"I guess she was…"

"Successful." Eddy finished mournfully.

"Oh." Empathy welled up for Eddy. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Eddy shrugged it off. "No matter. The main thing is now Serleena will be brought to justice."

"I guess…" Jay conceded, "but still…"

"Do not worry for me, Jay." Eddy gave Jay another small smile. "I do have other things to worry about now."

"Such as…?" Jay asked, as Eddy swiped the security card through the lock. She frowned when she noticed a ring on his finger. "Wait a sec…" Jay craned her neck to look up at Eddy, and hoped she wouldn't make a fool of herself with her next question, "you're getting married?"

"Yes." Eddy's smile was definitely wider. "To Aileen."

#MIB#

The kitchen was thankfully empty, and Kay and Aileen only had to avoid Eye and Zeeltor on the way.

"Congratulations." Kay said quietly to Aileen as soon as they were both seated in the kitchen.

"Observant as ever, Kay." Aileen smiled at her old friend. "I wonder how long it would take Jay to figure it out."

"I'm giving her ten minutes."

"You really shouldn't underestimate her, you know." Aileen scolded Kay lightly, hands cupped around her cup of coffee. "She's not the same rookie that crawled into the vents to get at an Inanimate and then tried to get my eight-foot partner to follow her. She's changed."

Kay looked at Aileen in surprise. "What makes you say that?" As far as Kay knew, Jay was still reckless by his standards (pushing Skahn's buttons was a prime example).

Aileen laughed softly, and rolled her eyes fondly. "Kay, I can honestly say you are both the cleverest and most dense friend I have."

"Flattery never works." Kay retorted, an almost smile on his face. "Well?" He asked Aileen. "What did you mean by Jay's changed?"

Aileen stirred the cream into her coffee. "I meant that she's grown up. I could see it; she held herself differently in the hangar, Kay. She's not the girl you remember."

Kay contemplated his cup of coffee.

"And judging by what you've told me about her…uh, dramatic return to earth, I guess you can say she's still Jay, but slightly more mature and definitely a lot wiser." Aileen continued.

"Wiser?" Kay repeated. "Aileen, she jumped out of a ship with only a _bloody_ parachute. She trusts _Alpha_."

"And?" Aileen raised an eyebrow. "Do you trust her?"

"Yes," Kay replied without hesitation, "but-"

"Then trust that Jay is not an idiot, and that she knows what she's doing." Aileen told him firmly.

"She's been wrong before."

"Perhaps." Aileen agreed. "But don't forget this; she survived a whole two years with Alpha, and you know she's smart enough to tell if something's wrong. She isn't stupid, Kay."

Kay sighed. "If you say so."

"I do say so. And the sooner you accept that," Aileen took a sip, "the better it'll be for the both of you."

#MIB#

"What is that?" Jay stopped, and stared.

"It's a containment field." Eddy explained as he waved a scanner over the top of the containment field. "We can see and hear Serleena, but she probably doesn't even know we're here."

"That's it?" Jay looked at the small floating green…thing in the containment field. "Smaller than what I expected."

"Jay," Eddy explained in exasperation, "Serleena is a Kylothian. Kylothians can sprout tentacles endlessly and change their appearance at will."

"Eugh. Sounds like a nasty piece of work." Jay eyed the tentacle with new respect. "How'd you manage to downsize her, anyway?"

"I obliterated all other parts of her." Eddy replied. The scanner beeped, and a green light shone. "Don't worry. The containment unit is secure."

"Uh, I wasn't worried." Jay protested.

"If you say so." Eddy smirked.

The two left the cell behind, and started down the hallway for the exit of the ship. As the exited into the hangar, something niggled at the back of Jay's mind, and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise.

"Something's not right." She muttered, eyes already scanning the hangar for any anomalies.

"Jay? What is it?" Eddy was already down the ramp, and turned around to look at Jay in concern. "Is something wrong - argh!"

Before either Jay nor Eddy could react, _someone_, dressed in a deactivated stealth suit, leapt out from behind the crates, knocked Eddy over, and rushed at full speed for the ship.

"Freeze!" Jay ordered, hands glowing, and determined to stop the _someone_.

The _someone_ chuckled, and disappeared into thin air a few metres before Jay.

_Shiz! Where'd he g-_

Something invisible slammed into Jay, and as she regained her balance, she heard footsteps running down the hallway towards the….

"Eddy!" Jay yelled. "He's headed for Serleena!" and then she took off down the hallway.

"Jay, wait!" Eddy picked himself off the ground, and ran after the MiB agent. "He can't get in without the card!"

"Yeah, but he has the card." Jay was in front of the metal door to the cell, which should have been closed.

"How?" Eddy murmured, eying the door.

"He stole it from you when he knocked you over." Jay stepped into the room. "Isn't that right?" she asked the intruder, who held the card in an almost smug manner, before tossing something round at Jay's feet.

"Oh, no."

#MIB#

The sound of a faint explosion reached Kay's ears, and if he decided to trust his instinct, he knew that it wasn't one of Zeeltor's experiments gone wrong. Even as he and Aileen reached the hangar, the second explosion went off.

#MIB#

The smoke cleared from the hallway, and just as Jay was about to pull herself up, Eddy picked her up, and dragged her towards the exit.

"Eddy! We had him!" Jay protested. "What are you doing?"

"That explosion was too close to the fuel tank," Eddy snapped back, "we have to get out of here before-"

He never finished his sentence.

#MIB#

There were many times when Jay woke up feeling like a zombie. This time, she felt like a zombie that had been gutted, shot at, and put through a meat mincer.

And set on fire afterwards.

Elle was not perturbed in the least to hear the groan come from Jay. "Welcome back to the land of the living. How do you feel?"

"Like crap." Jay croaked. "Uuugh. I feel like I've been run over by a frickin' LTD in hyperdrive."

"Close enough." Elle muttered, before raising her voice. "I know you're probably going to escape from the Med-Bay, but I have to remind you that Zeeltor said that you needed rest."

"Well?" Jay asked her accomplice as she sat up slowly, and swung her legs to the ground. "Is there something I need to know before I vanish?"

"Only that you were nearly gutted by a piece of shrapnel," Elle informed Jay casually, and watched as the pain struck the younger woman, "and that Zeeltor had to stitch you back together. Literally."

As she watched her friend struggle across the room, Elle decided that it was probably a better idea to help Jay and make sure she didn't get killed, than to sit and watch and call Zeeltor.

"That explains the zombie part." Jay muttered under her breath as Elle slung one of Jay's arms over her shoulder.

"The what?" Elle paused from helping Jay across the Med-Bay.

"Don't worry."

#MIB#

"Agent Jay, what are you doing out of the Med-Bay?" A very familiar voice demanded from behind the two women.

"Busted." Elle smirked at Jay.

"Whose side are you on anyway?" Jay grumbled quietly to Elle, without any malice.

"Quite frankly, I'm amazed you're up and about already." Zeeltor scolded. "Do you have any idea how many stitches I had to put into you? And I couldn't just bring in Troy, because of your Ignisian physiology, and quite frankly you should be thankful that your Ignisian healing abilities still work-"

"Eddy!" Jay suddenly interrupted the doctor as she remembered the other alien who was also caught in the blast. "Is he alright?"

"Jay," Elle informed her, "Eddy's not an Ignisian."

"Meaning?"

One word was all it took for Jay to understand.

"Troy."

"Oh."

#MIB#

"Rewind. And play again." Kay ordered, and Eye nodded, before rewinding to the start of the security feed.

Kay narrowed his eyes, and watched as the assailant materialised behind the crates. _The stealth suit must have been tuned into the frequency for humans._

He watched as the assailant knocked Eddy over, who didn't see the stealth-suited intruder even as it knocked him over. _But I can see it perfectly. Must've been tuned into an Arban setting._

He watched as the intruder ran up the ramp, then observed the look of surprise on Jay's face as the intruder obviously disappeared before her eyes.

_And finally Ignisian._

"Turn it off." Kay muttered tersely, and looked away from the screen. He did not need to see the explosion again. Finding Jay bloodied and broken was more than enough.

#MIB#

"Well, I tried." Elle shrugged at Jay, who had been bullied into going back into the Med-Bay.

"Soon as my stitches heal a bit," Jay poked gingerly at her side, "I'm crawling outta the vents."

"Get some rest, Jay." Elle advised, and left Med-Bay, before seeing Kay. She held it open for him. "Oh, Kay. Didn't see you there."

"Thanks." Kay nodded at Elle, who glanced at Jay.

_Elle! Don't leave me here!_ The message was quite clear in Jay's expression.

_Sorry – you're on your own, Jay._ Elle made a quick escape.

"I'm impressed you're still in here." Kay's tendrils of panic melted away as he discretely looked Jay over. _Still in one piece._

"I've already tried to escape once." She remarked wryly.

"Word of advice, Jay." Kay said as he turned around to leave. "Don't try the vents. They're a bit dusty."


	8. Precipitation

**Precipitation**

The problem with gutted and stitched back together zombies was that it made stumbling down hallways difficult. It also made avoiding annoying people (e.g. Zeelo) harder than usual.

"Pathetic." Zeelo sneered condescendingly. "No wonder Serleena got away."

"Shut it, Stripey." Jay retorted, ignoring the voice in the back of her mind hissing incessantly that picking a fight with the muscular feline was probably a bad idea, especially considering that her range of movement included her barely able to swing her arms.

"What did you call me?" The large Felinian demanded in a hiss. "Say it again. I _dare_ you."

Jay could nearly see the bristling cat under the tiger skin. Before she could repeat her previous word, Eye prevented the untimely demise of Jay by turning up.

"Jay!" Eye cut across Jay. "Oh, there you are."

"Huh?" Jay was jerked down the opposite end of the hallway, and away from the bristling alien.

"What were you thinking?" Eye scolded. "You could have been gutted again!"

Jay grimaced. "Does everybody have to keep reminding me 'bout that?"

"Yes," Eye lost her usually cheery demeanour, "until you get it through your head. Now, come on, let's go. You're needed in Zed's office."

#MIB#

"Hah," Eye grinned as soon as the two were out of earshot of the Felinian janitor, "that should stop him from following us."

"Wait, you mean I'm not needed?"

"Nope." Eye replied, cheeriness returning. "As far as they're concerned, you're supposed to be in the Med-Bay. Speaking of which, why aren't you there?"

"I…Well, I don't like the place." Jay answered honestly. "Look, as much as I appreciate your help, I don't need it."

"Oh…" Eye looked disappointed. "Well-"

"Jay!"

_Thank you, X._

"What took you so long, little ears?" The alien folded his arms, unimpressed. "You were supposed to meet me in the garage ten minutes ago. Elle said she even left a note for you."

"I was supposed to what?" Jay frowned. "Hold up. I did _not_ get a note."

"Are you sure?" X questioned. "She said she gave it to Eye to give it to you."

"Well, then why don't you have it, then?" Jay blinked in confusion.

"What does U have to do with all of this?" X was equally confused.

"Well, you just said she gave it to I, as in you-I, right?"

"What?!" X looked at Jay as if she had suddenly sprouted another head. "The heck are you on about?"

"Guys, guys, wait." Eye broke across the two very confused agents. "I can explain. I have the note. I was going to give it to her-"

"Oh, good." X let out a sigh of relief. "For a moment there I thought Agent U had it."

"Why'd you just bring Agent U into this?" Jay questioned.

"I did not! You did!"

Somewhere, far away from the utter confusion, Elle rubbed her temples. She could feel a headache coming on, and she had no idea why.

"Is there a problem, Agent Elle?" Zed asked sternly from the table.

"Uh, no, sir." Elle returned her attention to Eddy, feeling the gazes of everyone in the office. "Everything's just peachy." Elle pulled an unconvincing smile.

Kay coughed suspiciously into his hand.

"Good." Zed glared half-heartedly at Kay, who he swore had become less stoic since Jay's return. "Because we have a Kylothian sighting."

#MIB#

"Anyway," X eyed the traffic carefully, "Zeeltor told Elle, who told me to tell you – as in you-you – to take the rest of the day off, and that Zeeltor will check on you later. Did you get all that?"

"Um," Jay counted off the things on her fingers, "I think so. Let's see, you said, you're going to send me back to the MiB living quarters, I'm supposed to get some rest and heal up, and that Zeeltor's gonna pay a visit. Is that all?"

"Yep."

"Oh, good. For a moment there you had me worried – watch out for that truck!" Jay screeched, fingers digging into the car seat.

The jeep narrowly missed the truck amidst beeping horns. "Sorry, didn't quite catch that. Did you say something, Jay?"

"Just-" Jay let out a shaky breath, "just focus on driving, okay?"

X snorted. "You should've seen your face."

"You mean you weren't even looking at the road?!" If it was possible for Jay's voice to become shriller, it did.

"Hey, I have six pupils, two eyes." X waved his fingers in his eyes, as if to indicate his six pupils.

"You're only holding up five fingers." Jay remarked flatly.

"Oh, calm down-"

_Beep-beep._

"What was that?" Jay glanced around in alarm.

"That's our built in communicators." X informed her smugly. "You know, cause the humans didn't realise that using handheld devices while driving caused accidents."

"Look, that's lovely," Jay sniped in irritation, "but shouldn't we answer that call?"

"Eh, naaaah." X waved a flippant hand in the general direction of the communicator. "It'll only patch through if it's really important – you see, the doc accidentally made all the communicators receive and send on the same wavelength – Zed went nuts, by the way-"

"_Attention all units!"_

Jay shot X a pointed look. _See? Told you we should've answered it._

X grumbled under his breath.

"_If you are receiving this, Serleena is in your vicinity."_

At the end of the message, the communicator screen lit up, and a small red dot flashed on the electronic map.

"Huh. Fancy." Jay noted.

The electronic map suddenly gave a particularly loud beep, and the red dot skittered closer to the dot representing the MiB jeep.

"Is…is that supposed to happen?" Jay asked curiously.

"Only if our perp runs in front of the car-" Even as X spoke, the Kylothian ran across the road. "Well, there you go." He turned the wheel sharply, the car skidded along the wet road and followed the Kylothian down a smaller street.

"Uh, Jay," X said slowly, "I know I'm supposed to be getting you back into MiB Living Quarters, but…"

"Stuff the living quarters." Jay waved off X's concern. "We're going after Serleena."

Elle was going to regret asking X to give Jay a lift.

#MIB#

TWO MINUTES AGO

New York's weather was temperate most of the time; warm in summer, cold in winter, and raining by the bucket load whenever one needed to chase a Kylothian down on foot.

That, of course, was only according to Elle, who was currently drenched.

"MiB!" Elle futilely flashed her badge at the rapidly disappearing Kylothian who had dived into an alley way as soon as the black LTD pulled up. "Freeze!"

"I don't think that's going to work." Aileen said in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Do you have a better idea?" Elle turned to the equally sopping alien.

"No." Aileen admitted, and the two women took off after the Kylothian again.

The Kylothian was still a twisted mass of tentacles, and was still trying to find a form to copy.

"There it is!" Aileen pointed at the mass of tentacles. Said large mass of tentacles vaulted over a chain link fence, and the two agents skidded to a stop.

Elle was impressed that such a messy tangle could run so fast. "Kay!" Elle yelled into her commlink. "Kylothian coming your way."

"Roger that." Kay clicked the communicator off, only spared a second to look at the pouring rain before running out of the LTD, with Eddy right behind him. If it hadn't been raining, Kay and Eddy would have easily cut the Kylothian off at the next intersection. But it was raining cats and dogs, and just as Kay and Eddy reached the intersection of alleyways, Serleena had already dived into the next alleyway.

Kay was not fazed, and levelled a gun at Serleena's retreating back. The small, shining tracker hit the coils of khaki green tentacles just as the Kylothian finally decided on a form, and morphed.

"Did you see what she looked like?" Eddy peered through the rain.

"No." Kay wiped water out of his eyes and quickly changed the settings on his commlink to reach out to all surrounding vehicles, and put in the frequency for the tracker at the same time.

"Attention all units!" he barked into the commlink.

#MIB#

On first glance, the MiB standard uniform appeared to be perfect for the job. It was durable, difficult to stain, and made one look official, even if the previously mentioned person was drenched in alien goo. However, it was not water proof.

Rain seeped down the back of Jay's neck, and she shivered. She glanced back at X, who had fallen further and further behind.

"Hurry up, X!" she yelled. "My dead space aunt can run faster than you!"

X was too busy wheezing for breath to answer, let alone retort. Jay kept running. The Kylothian was in her sights, and she was not about to let the fugitive go on account of X's unfitness.

"Freeze!" Jay yelled again, and like all the other times before, the running figure ignored her. _Come on, Edwards. You chased down a Cephlapoid, you can certainly run down a Kylothian.  
Even if you have, like, fifty stitches in you._

The Kylothian took ducked around another corner, and Jay followed, only to stop and slow down. Serleena had run into a dead end, and Jay smirked. It usually paid off to buy a map, and by the looks of things, Serleena hadn't bothered.

"Freeze," Jay explained, pulling out the Noisy Cricket, "means stop, by the way." Her side twinged at the movement, and Jay ignored it.

"I'm impressed," Serleena drawled as she pulled off her tracker and threw it away, "that you could keep up."

"I'm impressed that you can run in those heels." Jay noted, squinting to see through the downpour.

"Touché." Serleena smiled, and the expression turned predatory.

It wasn't enough of a warning for Jay, and the bin knocked her off her feet. The Noisy Cricket flew away, and the irony wasn't lost on Jay. Coughing and spluttering from the rain, Jay struggled to get up without tearing her stitches, although the effort was ruined when Serleena's smaller tentacles reshaped into sharp nails and tore down Jay's side.

The puddles on the ground darkened.

"Aaargh!" Jay gasped in pain, and she blasted the Kylothian away from her with a burst of fire.

Serleena was more stunned than hurt, and took a moment to resume her attack. Just before she could get back at Jay, she was stopped in her tracks by a blue fireball hovering unwaveringly in Jay's shaking hand.

"Don't. Move." Jay growled, other hand pressed against the newly ripped open wound in an attempt to staunch the flow.

Serleena was wise enough to decide that although it was raining, there was a good chance that she would get fried if she wasn't careful. "So, Jay." The Kylothian spoke.

Jay's eyes narrowed. "How'd you know my name?"

"It's a secret." Serleena pressed a finger against her lips to signify the importance of the secret. "Bet you want to know who sprung me loose, don't you?"

"Yeah, but I bet you don't know either." Jay retorted.

"True." Serleena shrugged, and wiped the rivulets of rain out of her eyes. "But you know who it is."

"Jay?" X finally reached the alleyway. He caught sight of the younger agent covered in mud and blood, and blanched. "Woah. What happened-"

"Look out for Serleena!" Jay's warning came too late, and the second bin of the alleyway slammed into X. "Or that bin." Jay bit her lip as the bin made a loud _clang_ against X's head.

Serleena paused at the mouth of the alleyway to smile mockingly at Jay. "As a matter of fact, you know him really well. For two years, some might say."

As Jay froze in shock at Serleena's words, the Kylothian winked, and dashed away into the rain. X sat up with a groan, and caught sight of Jay. "Oh no. Kay and Elle are gonna kill me."

"Not if Zeeltor gets there first." Jay replied wryly, before hissing in pain as her side twinged again.


	9. Suspect List

**Suspect List**

The Med-Bay was becoming too familiar for Jay's liking.

"And this time," Zeeltor called after Jay as she left the Med-Bay, "don't tear them!"

"I'll try not to, doc." Jay called back, and made her way towards the kitchen. With luck, the Worms would be in.

"Jay, Jay, Jay!" Neeble waved as soon as he saw her.

"Hey, guys." Jay gingerly lowered herself into a booth at one of the tables. "I need to bounce a few ideas off you. Do you mind?"

"Oh, not at all." The four Worms squeezed into the booth opposite her, each armed with a cup of coffee, in case Jay's ideas sent them to sleep.

"Okay," Jay began, "you guys know about the hangar explosion, right?"

"Uh-huh." One of the Worms nodded, and the rest followed suit.

"Well, I'll just list what I know, okay?" Jay stated, more to herself than to the Worms. "Let's see, our intruder knew that Aileen and Eddy would be coming. He also must've had access to the MiB Weapons Vault, because that's the only place I can think of that has a stealth suit."

The four Worms nodded, and took a swig of their coffee.

"He also knew when Eddy and I would go check on Serleena, and when to catch us unaware. Which probably also means that he was watching us, probably through a monitor. And Serleena said it was somebody I knew." Jay wisely left out the part about the 'two years' part. If anyone learnt of that, they'd blame A right away. "And that means it's someone in this base."

The Worms traded suspicious looks with each other, and reached a conclusion.

"This sounds like-"  
"-that time we-"  
"-had to percolate-"  
"-that janitor called Zelgar."

"Guys," Jay looked at the Worms in exasperation, "just because Zeelo's a Felinian, and a relative of a notorious rebel, and the fact that he has access to a lot of places, doesn't mean he's the guilty party." As soon as the words left her mouth, Jay slapped her palm to her forehead.

Her mutter of "That came out wrong." was drowned out by the loud cries of the Worms of "Well, he's definitely the guilty guy! His name even begins with 'Z'!"

Jay made a noise of disagreement. "W-e-l-l," she dragged out the word, "fine. I guess he can go on my suspect list for now. He does get access to a lot of places. But listen to this – I think Serleena planned to run into X and I."

"What?"

"Think about it – that Kylothian's new on earth, right?"

"Right."

"Yet," Jay lowered her voice, lest the five be overheard by passing by MiB staff, "she somehow managed to outrun two people who should know these streets like the back of their hands, and it wasn't only until X and I joined the chase that she finally let me catch her."

The Worms gave her sceptical looks.

"Look, I know what I'm talking about." Jay waved away their scepticism. "While I was chasing her, she was prolonging it. She kept on going in circles, and I think – don't laugh – she was waiting for X to fall behind before she talked to me."

The Worms fell about laughing. "Haha, X!" Gleeble crowed in between his peals of laughter. "I knew he was getting fat!"

Somewhat placated that the Worms were actually making fun of X's physical prowess, and not her idea, Jay waited for the Worms to stop their mirth before continuing. "Anyway, with that being said, I think she ran in front of the jeep on purpose. She must've gotten orders from someone…"

"Why didn't you just run her over?" Neeble asked.

"Hey," Jay shrugged her shoulders in a Wasn't-My-Fault sort of way, "X was the one driving. Go ask him that."

"But that still can't work." Gordy, surprises of all surprises, had given Jay's previous statement some thought. "How'd the creepy tentacles know that you and X would drive there?"

"It's easy if you know how the communicators work." Jay started to explain. "You see, Zeeltor accidentally hardwired them to run on the same frequency, so if our suspect managed to lock onto that frequency, he'd be able to hack into the tracking systems easily. And hey presto, he'd know exactly where I was, and be able to tell Serleena where to go."

"Ooooh." The four Worms voiced their awe as one.

"Speaking of which," Jay asked the Worms, "y'all wouldn't happen to know anyone who'd have the privacy and time to do that, would you?"

To Jay's surprise, the four Worms huddled together in a team huddle, and whispered amongst themselves, before they finally remerged with a unanimous decision.

"We've got-" Neeble began.  
"-an answer, but-" Sleeble continued from where Neeble left off.  
"-you're not going to like it." Gleeble finished.

"Who?" Jay prompted. "It'd be useful to know."

At the nods of the other three, Gordy finally spoke. "Zeeltor."

"Zeeltor?" Jay repeated incredulously. "As in-"

"Crazy-"  
"-kooky-"  
"-bonkers-"  
"-and barmy."

"I…" Jay managed unconvincingly, "I was going to say 'zany'."

"Sure you were." One of the Worms muttered darkly.

"Oh, but come on," Jay counted off the reasons why Zeeltor was not evil, "so he's a bit…unbalanced, but he's a brilliant scientist, not to mention well respected-"

"Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde."

Jay glared at the Worm that had spoken.

"What?" he protested. "You were all thinking it!"

"As I was saying," Jay ploughed on, "he's too interested in creating gadgets for the good of the galaxy to be evil, plus, seriously," Jay gave the Worms a 'Seriously, guys?' sort of look, "_Zeeltor_? Sure, he's a mad genius, but he doesn't have it in him to blow something up beyond the laboratory. Besides, his physical condition is horrible. No way he could've knocked me over, not to mention Eddy."

"Any other suspects?" Sleeble egged her on.

"Anyone who was on duty at the monitors during the explosion, I guess." Jay cupped her chin in thought. "I mean, come on! They must've seen something and could've at least made a warning."

"Actually," a new voice spoke, "whoever sprung the Kylothian planned ahead-"

Jay flinched at Kay's voice.

"-as all the security feeds were looped."

"How'd you know that?" One of the Worms asked the very question Jay wanted to.

Kay poured himself a cup of coffee. "Agent I found the actual recordings."

"Eye's in MiB _Security_?" Jay's curiosity got the better of her, as did her disbelief.

"Surprisingly," Kay leaned against the kitchen counter, "yes. She's not a field agent, in case you _haven't_ noticed."

Jay was taken aback by the accusation in his voice. "I noticed." she bit back, tendrils of annoyance curling up. "What's your problem anyhow?" she asked defensively.

Kay had given up on the calm façade. "What part of 'return to Living Quarters' could you not comprehend?"

"Well-"

"In Jay's defence," one of the Worms interrupted Jay 'helpfully', "she nearly ran over the Kylothian."

_Not helping, guys._ Jay shot the Worms a quick silencing look. The four aliens got the message and pattered their way into a cupboard, slamming the door shut behind them.

"Look," Jay groused, "just because I happened to be in the area-"

"You," Kay growled, fingers clenched tightly around the coffee mug, "were supposed to be at the Living Quarters, not running in the rain and getting yourself killed."

Jay was too pissed off to recognise Kay's concern. Ignoring her side tingling with light sensations of pain, she stood up. "What I do is hardly your business, Kay." She snapped, and left the kitchen, barely refraining from stomping.

Just before Jay could completely go out of earshot, Kay hurled one last parting shot at her. "You might want to add Alpha to your suspect list."

Jay turned around, control completely spent.

"His name," she snarled, oblivious to the alarmed looks of agents who had originally intended to visit the kitchen for a cup of coffee (and immediately decided that they could survive without coffee upon taking a look at the arguing duo), "is A. Not Alpha."

"That remains to be seen." Kay countered, just as darkly. "During the time of the hangar explosion, he was alone. He did _not_ have an alibi."

"Yeah," Jay snorted derisively, "and I bet he was _your _first suspect, wasn't he?"

"As a matter of fact, he was."

Fingertips glowing with a faint blue haze, Jay left the infuriating man behind in the kitchen, determined to not destroy the kitchen in a fit of rage.

#MIB#

A wasn't in the monitor womb, and nor was he in the computer lab.

"Who're you looking for?" Eye popped her head around the computer lab door as Jay was about to give up on finding A.

"A." Jay answered, brushing past Eye on her way out. "You know, the one everyone's convinced is the guy in the stealth suit."

"Why though?" Eye followed Jay as they left the computer lab behind.

"Past history." Jay jabbed the buttons of the elevator viciously.

Eye stepped into the elevator with Jay. "Where're you going now?"

"I'm going to check on the lower vaults." Jay wasn't even sure why she was talking to Eye. "Although I doubt he's there."

"What did he do to get such a…" Eye paused, lost for words.

"Reputation?" Jay suggested bitterly, her eyes never leaving the lights skimming past the elevator window. "He had the misfortune of flying past Ignisia."

When Jay offered no further explanation, Eye let the matter drop.

…

A wasn't in the lower sections either.

…

Eye and Jay re-emerged from the lower sections, along with a large sack of coffee that the Worms had requested for Eye to get for them.

_At least she's not stalking me._ Jay was thankful for the small mercies. However, Jay still had no idea where A had disappeared off to-

"Hey, you!"

Jay breathed in deeply, and let out a long suffering sigh before turning to face her tormentor. "What?" she scowled at Zeelo.

"Elle's been looking everywhere for you." The large Felinian seemed to be holding in his utter disgust for the small half-human in front of him.

Jay returned the favour. "Where is she?"

"She was in the archives."

…

"Elle?" Jay finally found the blonde agent hidden behind stacks of old and dusty papers. "You wanted to see me?"

Elle finished scribbling in her notebook and picked up the large pile of papers before slotting them back into the cabinet. "Yeah, I did. But you're not going to like it."

"Tell me anyway."

"Promise me you won't set everything on fire." Elle told Jay in all seriousness.

"Elle, I don't think that's necessary-" Jay began to say.

"Promise." The steely look in Elle's eyes had Jay worried.

"Okay, okay!" Jay took a step backwards. "I promise to not set things on fire unnecessarily."

"Hmph. Good enough." Elle closed the door to the archives. "Okay, Jay. It's about A."

"Do you know where he is?" Jay nearly grabbed Elle's shoulders in desperation, but stopped herself at the last second.

"Yes." Elle seemed to be warring with herself as to whether or not to tell Jay. Finally, the side that had been chanting _Tell! Tell! Tell!_ won. "Zed had him moved on suspicions Kay brought up. He's in one of the holding cells."

The papers in the archives seemed suddenly very burnable and very tempting to touch.

"Jay, calm down!" Elle's sharp order brought Jay back to her senses. She wasn't even aware that her hands were glowing again.

"Kay." Jay hissed. "How could he?"

"Jay, it's not his fault." Elle was not going to stand by and watch hate overtake her friend. "He only mentioned it. He didn't flaunt the fact about."

"Oh, don't you know?" Jay remarked sarcastically, "Kay doesn't do flaunting. He suggests the idea and gives the nudge that rolls it into action."

"Jay," Elle gripped Jay's shoulders, "stop it. You weren't there. Kay didn't want to say it. I could tell. If anything, Zed was the one who decided on locking A up."

"And let me guess," Jay growled, "it wasn't his fault either."

"He was just doing his job, Jay. He can't afford any liabilities in security." At the final clinical, professional observation, Jay's hands glowed even brighter.

The archives remained mostly intact.

#MIB#

"I must say, Jay," A looked up at his visitor, "that I expected you to come down three days ago in a blazing storm of fury and melt the doors off my cell."

"I was tempted to." The woman admitted sheepishly.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't." A smiled. "I take it your level-headed friend, Agent Elle, stopped you from taking any… uh, _drastic_ actions?"

"Let's just say the archives are in need of repairs." Jay sat down at the table usually reserved for visits to the criminally insane.

A winced. "Are the old files still stored on paper?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Jay studied the tabletop, then risked a glance at A, and couldn't help adding, somewhat cheekily, "But not anymore."

A chortled at that. "I guess Zed wasn't pleased."

"Him?" Jay snorted darkly. "You should've seen _me_."

"And yet here you are," A noted calmly, "and the rest of MiB is not after you, so I can assume you left him intact?"

Jay didn't dignify that musing with a response.

"Have I missed anything in the past few days?" A asked her.

"Not really." Jay paused for a second. "Except Aileen and Eddy are gonna hang around for a bit though. You know, to see if they can do anything about Serleena."

"So, not that I don't appreciate the visit," A inquired when Jay didn't say anything else, "but why are you here? I know you, Jay, and you wouldn't be down here unless you had a way to get me out." A's eyebrows creased as he considered his own words. "Preferably in a legal way."

"…well, yes and no." Jay answered finally. "I managed to, ah… _persuade_ Zed to let you out of your cell, but here's the catch – you have to be under guard _**thirty seven-four-point-something-too-many-numbers-to-work-out**_*."

A took a moment to process this. "Are you saying I'll be under guard twenty-four seven? Just like before?"

"Yes-" Jay stopped, and stared at A, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean, 'just like before'?"

"Oh, dear." A sighed. "You mean you didn't know?"

…

The ride up back to the main Hub of MiB was tense, to say in the least. Jay was still fuming silently, and anything A tried to say in the defence of Kay – who had ordered the constant watch in the first place – made her temper worse.

"You really can't blame him for being paranoid, you know." A said finally as the elevator nearly reached the top. "As Alpha, I did a lot of things that…shouldn't have been done."

"It wasn't your fault." Jay muttered. "Besides, exactly what did you do? Kay never told me."

"Oh, nothing much," A brushed an imaginary piece of lint from his suit, "except betray him, shoot him, leave him to die, you know, the works."

Jay turned an alarmed look at A upon hearing his nonchalant tone, but her worry was unfounded. Although A had sounded like he didn't care, his pained eyes said otherwise.

"So," he swallowed, and did not meet Jay's eyes, "like I said before, I don't blame him."

Jay leaned back against the elevator wall, closed her eyes and sighed. "Araminta f*cked up so many lives."

"Language." A chided half-heartedly.

Jay didn't bother arguing.

* * *

_**Author's Notes:**_

_***thirty seven-four-point-something-too-many-numbers-to-work-out; **_this refers to the fact that the Twins keep everyone in MiB running on 37 hour days (Alpha Centauri time). So, if you times 24 (1 earth day) by 7, you get 168 hours. Divide 168 by 37, and you get 4.054054054…(it just goes on and on and on and on), which shows you how many Alpha Centauri days are in an earth week.  
Now, take the phrase "twenty four – seven" (twenty four hours a day, seven days a week), and make that into Alpha Centauri time and you'll get:  
Thirty seven – four-point-o-five-four-o-five-four-o-five-four…etc. etc. etc.  
How does Jay know this? Assume Zeeltor told her. Or anyone with a calculator.


	10. Armistice

_**Author's Notes: We all have these bad days. It's Jay's turn to have one.**_

_**On the up side, our two favourite agents reach a truce of sorts.**_

_**(After a fistfight, of course.)**_

_**And lots of Nile puns. Mr Peabody & Sherman has got to be one of my favourite movies.**_

_**Finally, this is set a day after the previous chapter.**_

* * *

**Armistice**

Kay realised he'd never looked at Jay from this particular angle.

And he had never really noticed how long her legs were, in comparison to the rest of her body, at least. And neither had he realised that she could look both terrifying and utterly _gorgeous_ at the same time.

Normally, he would be mortified at even thinking such a thing, let alone gape at Jay's thighs. Although, to be fair, _she_ was the one who had knocked him to the ground, and proceeded to hold him to the ground by straddling his middle.

It was an idiotic thing to do, especially if she wanted his attention. Well, she had his attention, alright – maybe not the right type of attention she needed.

Above him, Jay scowled, and shifted her legs, pinning his arms against the ground. Kay looked up at her face, and not anywhere else.

"Damn it, Kay. Why?" she demanded in a snarl.

#MIB#

THREE MINUTES AGO

Usually, Jay wasn't one to advocate mindless violence against helpless victims, i.e. punching bags, but in this situation, she figured she could make an exception.

It was oddly satisfying, sinking her fists into the punching bag, and imagining Kay was on the receiving end of the punches. She knew she would feel guilty later, but now, now she needed to vent.

Within minutes of her storming into the training hall, all the other occupants had wisely vacated – one look at her expression was enough for most to want to crawl under a blanket and stay there until the end of time.

Or maybe that was just a bit of an overstatement.

The previously relaxed air of the training hall disappeared, the only sounds that drifted into the air was the sound of Jay's fists striking the unfortunate punching bag. If there were any telepaths hanging around, they would have heard something along the lines of

_Honestly._ PUNCH _That stubborn-_ PUNCH _–sonnuva – _PUNCH – _gun_ _who has serious – _PUNCH – _trust issues – _PUNCH– _is really going to piss me off – _PUNCH – _one of these days._

Unfortunately for Bob, he wasn't a telepath and the security camera did not have an audio feed. All he could see was Jay pummelling the punching bag, as if the object had brought some great misfortune upon the world, or it had personally insulted the irate woman in some way.

He let out a low whistle when Jay's fist broke through the bag, and a trail of punching bag stuffing spilled out. It vaguely reminded him of the gory movies Troy had persuaded the whole organisation to watch last Halloween, the majority of which featured messy evisceration techniques.

Now, _that_ was a night to remember.

Idikiukup looked over at his brother in concern when Bob shuddered. "What is it?" he burbled.

"Nothing," Bob shrugged it off, "just remembering last Hallow-"

"Is that Jay?" Idikiukup cut across Bob, staring at the tiny screen. "Why are you…?"

Before Bob could answer, the doors of the training hall opened. Bob's single eye widened when he realised who the newcomer was. "Uh oh."

"Oh dear." Idikiukup couldn't help but agree. Jay-in-a-foul-mood mixed in with the man who had annoyed her in the first place was never a good combination. Then, he added "They'd better not kill each other."

Bob nodded numbly in agreement, then moved over to make room for Idikiukup. If those two were going to spar, it was going to be one heck of a fight, especially considering that Jay already had a few days to recuperate after her little tussle with an explosion.

…

"Careful. They might think you're trying to disembowel all the punching bags."

There was a slight pause in Jay's steady rhythmic punching, and Kay had to admit it; she hid her surprise well.

"I'm really _not_ in the mood to talk." Jay remained facing the dishevelled punching bag, having finally stopped her assault.

"I wasn't suggesting that we do."

Jay shot a curious glance at Kay, and had to grudgingly concede that he didn't look as if he wanted to talk either – after all, who 'talked' while wearing a hoodie and tracksuit pants?  
(Okay, maybe some people did, but this was Kay she was talking about after all, Kay-the-immaculately-proper-and-neat-guy who would probably wear the business suit if he wanted to talk, or – _perish the thought_ – sort through feelings.)

For Kay, wearing a hoodie and tracksuit combo was the equivalent of emblazoning the words 'FIGHT ME' across his forehead.

"Good." Jay replied with dark satisfaction. "I hope you're as good as I remember."

"That's ironic," Kay retorted, blocking Jay's punch to the side, "coming from someone who doesn't remember the fact that your current 'bodyguard'-" and Jay could hear the sketched quotation marks "-tried to kill you. On more than one occasion."

"How many times do I have to tell you," Jay's smouldering temper flared up into flames, "that it wasn't him, on all occasions? He's not Alpha anymore!"

If either of them had been in their right minds, they probably would not have continued sparring (although that was a term that didn't really describe their fighting anymore – it was more of fistfight-to-the-finish).

"That's debatable." Kay snarled back, and a tiny part at the back of his mind was proud to see that Jay foresaw his planned strike and ducked out of the way. He did, however, catch her incoming fist.

"Why can't you just trust him?" Jay's other hand jabbed at the pressure point on the inside of Kay's elbow. "I don't see how you can be so stubborn."

Kay hissed and let go. "And I can't see why you're so willing to trust him."

"Because. He's. Changed!" Jay punctuated her words with more punches, most of which were blocked. Jay ducked backwards to avoid Kay's jab. Both stood away from the other, chests heaving and postures tense.

"And how can you be sure of that?" Kay asked coolly, his steely blue eyes capturing Jay's gaze.

"Because-" Because of what? Because a glob of a combusting entity told her so? In another circumstance, Jay might have let out a snort at that particular thought. Instead, she let out a mirthless chuckle. "Nevermind. You wouldn't understand."

_Aw damn._ She realised just one second too late that once again, her mouth had beaten her brain.

Jay knew she had hit a nerve. Ever since her first day at MiB, she had trusted Kay – be it his decision to jump down a Bug's gullet, or to do something just as dangerous/ridiculous. In turn, Kay had trusted her to watch his back, and to not necessarily know everything there was to know about him, but to simply understand that some things weren't meant to be known.

That bond of trust had survived Alpha. It had survived the usual chaos that reigned every day. But with Jay's three simple words, the bond frayed.

_You wouldn't understand._

Kay realised bitterly that Jay was right. She was right – he wouldn't understand, not now, not after two years of contact, not to mention the whole memory problem before the two years. _Too much has changed._

"You're right. I wouldn't." Kay watched as a flicker of hurt flashed across Jay's face, and while she was obviously trying to fight back the emotions, all it took was a simple manoeuvre and Kay had her in a chokehold.

_And yet nothing has changed._ Kay mused almost wryly. This was the Jay he remembered – the one who wore her emotions on her sleeve, the one whose emotions were both her worst enemy and her greatest strength at the same time.

Any nostalgia vaporised when Jay's elbow dug into his solar plexus.

Kay let Jay go, wheezing. _Ugh, she's got bony elbows._

Then, before Kay could recover, Jay flipped him over her shoulder (Kay idly wondered how she managed to do that with her small size) and promptly turned the tables on him.

His back slammed into the ground, all the air was once again knocked out of him, and while he was in the process of drawing a breath, Jay squashed what little air he managed to breathe in back out again by sitting on him.

By the time he recovered, he found Jay's blazing brown eyes nearly boring a hole in his head.

"Damn it, Kay. Why? I know things have changed," her eyes softened fractionally, "I know it won't go back to the way things were. But why won't you just try, you know, just a little bit, to make things work?" Jay took a deep, steadying breath, and Kay was mildly alarmed to see her eyes just a bit watery. But when she spoke again, her voice was steady. "Why won't you give A a chance?"

_Give A a chance._ Jay's words echoed in Kay's mind. She had no idea how many times he wanted to do that, all those years ago, when he had flatly refused to believe that his mentor had gone bad, when he was neck deep in De-Nile.

And then Kay schooled his features after realising he no longer had a deadpan face. But it was too late – in his brief moment of weakness, Jay had seen his emotions. She had seen the hurt and the longing, and suddenly, she understood. As her grip went slack in the realisation, Kay, desperate to deny everything, jerked his hands up, gripped Jay by her biceps, and yanked her off him, and onto the floor.

Her slight form pinned to the ground by his heavier built frame, Jay wouldn't have had a chance of breaking free.

But Jay didn't seem to be worried about the sparring match anymore. Her eyes seemed to have glazed over. "It's not about _won't_ anymore, is it?" Jay's attention refocused on Kay. "It's a matter of _can't_."

Jay's hands were nowhere near Kay's solar plexus, and yet he felt as if an elephant had just sat on him. It was true; Kay had long since given up on A, and accepted that only Alpha was left. He had moved on. He hadn't prepared for the minutest chance that A would come back. Heck, according to Jay, he had the emotional range of a teaspoon, and he guessed that included his ability to forgive.

But right now, it was time to call up the waters of de Nile. "No, that's not-"

"Oh, yes it is." A spark of fire danced in Jay's eyes. "You _do_ want A back."

_Of course I don't-_ Kay stopped mid thought. _No. You're right. I do._

Jay was still talking. "But you can't. You can't do it anymore, can you? You can't forgive him." There was no malice in Jay's voice, nor was there any scorn. Pity was absent, and sympathy had probably flown out the window weeks ago.

It was simple understanding.

In the next breath, Kay had gotten off Jay, and was halfway across the room. By the time Jay got up and finally reached him, he was at the door.

"Kay, wait." Her fingers curled around his shoulder.

He stopped, torn between the urge to run for the door and to stay put and hear Jay out.

"I'm sorry. I so, so, sorry." Jay whispered.

Kay could hear the guilt in her voice, and his own heart twisted. It wasn't her fault, after all, that he was emotionally constipated (once again, Jay's words).

"Don't. Not now." was all he said, and then he pulled out of her grasp, and left the woman standing alone in the training hall.


	11. Blackguard

_**Author's Notes: Aileen and Jay chat at the end.**_

* * *

**Blackguard**

Elle held her breath as an unfamiliar voice drifted from the hub of MiB's Blackguard.

"Looking good, boys!" whoever he was crowed. "Sugar momma's coming aboard!"

The blonde agent quirked an eyebrow. _Sugar momma? That's a new one._

However, she did not have much time to ponder the new terminology, as a metal panel next to her shifted, and tentacles crept out. Stifling a gasp with one hand, Elle scrambled as silently as she could to behind one of the metal supporting posts.

She caught sight of a familiar murky green tangle of tentacles.

"Serleena, baby!" the same male speaker spoke again.

From the short silence, Elle guessed that the Kylothian was probably glaring. And then it hit her – she was stuck on the Blackguard with the Tweedledum of the Jeebs and Serleena the psychopathic Kylothian. And all communications were down.

_I'm so screwed._

#MIB#

The elevator chimed, and the doors slid open. Jay, who was too busy scrutinising the file on the Zeronian Migration one year ago, stepped in, and did not realise who was the only occupant of the elevator until the doors slid shut.

Jay glanced up when the elevator chimed.

_Oh, F._

There was a tiny part of her that was impressed that she did not use the full swearword. The rest was more worried that she was stuck in an elevator with possibly the last person she wanted to see (barring Serleena and maybe agent Eye).

Agent-Freaking-Kay, whom she hadn't spoken to since that fiasco in the training hall.

To say it was awkward would have been the understatement of the millennium. Jay squirmed, and she sensed that Kay was trying not to do the same. There was no going back now – the elevator had already started moving, and there was nothing Jay could do to exit the elevator now without looking like she was fleeing.

At least, nothing short of blasting out the doors and jumping into the elevator shaft while displaying an impressive display of finger guns and giggling hysterically. (With luck, Kay might brush it off as insanity.)

Instead, Jay stood in the farthest corner (although, arguably, a circular elevator did not have corners) as possible from Kay, and was about to jab the button for the Hub, until she realised that it was already lit, and the only one that was.

_Shi-iz._ Jay was getting better at euphemisms. By the looks of things, both agents were headed for the Hub, which was the next closest floor, which also meant no quick escapes for either of them.

The awkward atmosphere did not lessen, and thickened as the seconds ticked by. Jay considered her options. She could try to continue to read the Zeronian file, she could stand in absolute silence and pretend that Kay was none-existent, or she could try to make conversation.

The insanity plea was sounding quite good by now-

_Oh, f*ck._ Jay decided that euphemisms were overrated upon noticing Kay look her way, and opening his mouth._ He's going to talk to me! Please let something happen, please- _

"Jay, I've been meaning to-" was as far as Kay got, before an explosion rocked all of MiB headquarters. The elevator screeched to a stop, and the lights went out. Before Jay could delve into the wonderful world of claustrophobia, the emergency lights kicked in and the elevator was bathed in a red light.

Jay was on the verge of picking herself up and letting out a sigh of relief that she had a conversation averted when she realised that the elevator was _stuck_, meaning that the doors were locked, and she was stuck in the elevator for the foreseeable future…with _Kay_.

Now was the perfect time to blow out the doors.

#MIB#

Unlike Elle, Jay's opinion was that everybody was nuts. First on her rant list was Zed. He had to be crazy if he thought sending her with Kay on a mission was a good idea. Granted, while things still weren't hunky dory with the two, they weren't fighting anymore. Jay guessed that was probably a good thing.

Second, and last on her rant list, was Kay. Not that he'd actually done or said anything to aggravate her yet, other than his hare-brained plan of disguising her as Jeebs and sending her in with malfunctioning lens-

Jay paused. _Actually, that's not such a bad idea._

#MIB#

Jay rescinded her previous statement nearly ten minutes later, when the real Jack Jeebs showed up.

Jay's first question was how on earth the alien got free from the ship without Kay stopping him. Her second question was what the heck happened to Kay. Her last one, which probably should have been the most important one, was how on earth to punch the face of a guy whose previously mentioned visage had the consistency of rubber.

Her fist sank into Dak's mouth, and Jay had to pull it out with a jerk. _Case in point._

Finally, she kicked him off, and promptly fired off three Noisy Cricket blasts, only to remind herself that Dak was a Jeebs, and that Jeebses were immortal.

"In case ya didn't get it the first time 'round, Jeebses are immortal." Dak grinned, the holes already mending together. "Ain't that right, bro?"

_Tell me something I don't know._

"Yeah," Jack Jeebs chimed in, "we don't even breathe oxygen; just need it to regenerate."

Jay smirked. It was always nice when the blabbermouth of the family talked – one never knew what information one could come by.

#MIB#

"Uh," Jay scrambled for something to talk about, "so, what happened to Serleena?"

"She's in pieces and in space." Kay answered, in a monotone that Jay still couldn't read. "What happened to Dak?"

"See previous answer." Jay tried to grin, but the attempt at levity fell rather flat. "So, um…"

Only the rattling of the shady spaceship of Jeebs' could be heard in the silence that ensured.

"Listen, I-"

"Look, I've-"

Both broke off, and waited for the other to speak. Neither made an attempt to continue, and Elle, not for the first time that trip, was tempted to knock both of them out, and lock them in a room until they said more than three words to each other that was not work related.

_But hey,_ Elle shrugged to herself, and contented herself with watching the earth getting larger, _at least they're not at each other's necks._

The spaceship gave another nasty jolt, and Elle regretted her decision to join those two in riding down to earth in such a shaky ship – not only because of the company.

As soon as Elle got off the ship, it took every ounce of her willpower to not kiss the ground.

#MIB#

"That was horrible." Kay stated blandly as soon as Elle was out of earshot. "I meant the ride down to earth." He added at Jay's questioning glance.

"Ha!" Jay let out a short bark of laughter, relief shining in her eyes. "Tell me about it. I could've sworn the ship was going to drop out of the sky on re-entry."

"You wanted to be an astronaut." Kay retorted lightly.

Jay blinked in surprise at the teasing tone, before a real grin, one that hadn't appeared around her partner in a long time, appeared on her face. "Heck no. I think I'd rather have both of my feet on the ground, thanks."

The two walked out of the hangar, once again in silence, but it was a far cry from the tension from before.

_Wait a minute. Hangar? …Oh, man._

"Uh, Kay?"

"Hm?"

"LTD's still at Jeebs', isn't it?"

"…Darn."

#MIB#

Jay wasn't sure exactly how it happened, but she didn't really mind sharing a motorbike with Kay. The garage was surprisingly empty of other LTDs, but Jay's motorbike was still available.

Hence why the two were speeding down the road, and for once, Jay was steering.

"A little tight on that corner, don't you think?" Kay's voice rumbled from behind her, and Jay smirked slightly at the tiniest shade of panic in his voice.

Kay's grip tightened around Jay's waist as they sped through another orange light.

"Kay," Jay informed her passenger politely, "I need to breathe."

The vice-like grip loosened minutely, and finally, Jay pulled to a stop behind the parked LTD.

"And you wonder why I don't let you drive." Kay remarked dryly, his touch lingering for a second, before he disembarked the bike. Jay suddenly missed the contact, but brushed the feeling off.

"You need to loosen up," Jay chuckled as she tugged off the helmet, and folded the motorbike away, "and in my defence, we were both wearing helmets."

Kay snorted, and opened the boot of the LTD before helping Jay hoist the bike in. "Whatever you say."

#MIB#

The drive back to MiB headquarters was spent mostly in silence, interrupted infrequently by Jay drumming her fingers against her communicator.

It was starting to get on Kay's nerves. "Jay."

"Hm?" Jay jerked out of whatever daydream she was in.

"Remember in the elevator, and I started to-"

"Yeah," Jay blushed as she remembered her pathetic plans of escaping the elevator, "I remember-" _too well _"-what about it?"

The two got out of the LTD, and made their way towards the elevator. "I meant to apologise for the past two weeks-"

"-for being an ass?" Jay couldn't resist.

Kay shot her a flat look, one that she clearly interpreted as _No. Just no._ Suddenly, he sighed. "Fine. I guess you could say that."

"Kay," the smallest hint of a soft smile appeared on Jay's face, "you didn't need to. If anything, I should, considering the things I said."

Jay and Kay stepped into the elevator.

"You already did." Kay pressed the button for the Hub. "A few days ago, in the training hall."

"It wasn't much of an apology." Jay muttered to herself, before speaking aloud. "…about A…I'm not really expecting you go so far as to be all buddy-buddy with him, but…"

"Jay, I…" Kay trailed off. "I don't think I can."

Jay let out a slow nod. "I know, I guessed as much…"

The elevator chimed, and the doors slid open.

"So, are we good?"

"Yeah. We're good."

#MIB#

Jay frowned at the memorandum. It had been delivered to her by Troy shortly after her return to headquarters, and it held… news. Jay still couldn't decide whether or not it was good or bad news.

_On the upside,_ Jay pondered, _moving the Teleportation meetings to __**next**__ year would give the ambassadors more time to think about their decision-_

"Are you sure she's dead?"

Jay looked up to see Aileen. "I can't make any promises." she swirled the contents of her coffee cup as she put the memorandum down, not entirely comfortable with talking to the stern Arban. "Besides, shouldn't you be asking Kay that? He was the one that blew her up, after all."

"I needed a second opinion." Aileen answered, shrugging.

An awkward silence settled between the two women.

"So…um," Jay attempted to breach the silence, "you're engaged to Eddy."

"Yes." Aileen replied. "We hope to get married early next year."

"That's…" Jay paused. "That's good." she finished lamely. To her surprise, Aileen sniggered.

"Jay," she rolled her eyes, "I'm not going to steal Kay away."

"I didn't-" Jay started to protest.

"No, you didn't _say_ it." Aileen smirked slightly. "Just merely wrote your emotions on your face for everyone within a five metre radius to see."

Jay laughed weakly. "I'm still that obvious, huh?"

"As the day I met you." Aileen sipped at her coffee cup. She chuckled. "You have no idea how amusing it was."

"What?" Jay's brief moment of levity disappeared. "Watching a silly little girl trying to get between two people?"

"Two people who were never together in the first place." Aileen answered lightly.

Jay turned an incredulous stare on the cop from Arbus. "Say what?"

"When I first met Kay," Aileen smiled sadly at the distant memory, "he was just a rookie, one that barely knew how to apprehend the most basic of alien life-forms."

"How'd you meet him?" Jay asked curiously. She had never shared any sort of rapport with Aileen, barring the time they worked together to rescue Kay from the Inanimate. Of course, back then, they had a common goal – getting Kay the heck out of the rocket – in light of which both had agreed silently that Kay was worth more than their differences with each other.

Which was why having a nearly heart-to-heart with Aileen over coffee was odd – but Jay wasn't about to ruin the atmosphere now.

"I was on earth with my mentor Feelobar." Aileen explained. "I was just fresh out of the Academy-"

"Academy?" Jay questioned. "Sorry." She added when she realised she had interrupted.

"No need," Aileen waved away Jay's concern, "the Academy was for training police officers, by the way. I was on earth with Feelobar to refuel, while we were transporting Aldoosi."

"Aldoosi, Aldoosi." Jay rolled the name on her tongue, trying to remember where she had heard the name before. " 'The Voice'? The guy that could strip flesh from bones with a single note?"

"Someone's been doing their reading." Aileen looked mildly impressed.

"I had time." Jay shrugged. "Speaking of Aldoosi, didn't he escape? Did you catch him? Did Kay help?"

"Yes," Aileen smiled wistfully, "we caught him in the end. It was a team effort – not counting Feelobar, of course. He was out cold for most of the time. So, there we were, two rookies trying to track down and catch a dangerous criminal."

"Bet that went well." Jay smirked.

"Oh, it did." Aileen answered, just as gleefully. "Nearly levelled the whole city."

"What about Zed?" Jay's smirk became broader. "Was he furious?"

"Only that Kay wasn't careful." Aileen shrugged. "He wasn't in a position to do much else – after all, he shared an office with Kay, and wasn't the chief at the time."

"Wait a second." Jay frowned. "Then who…? It wasn't A, was it?"

"If by that," Aileen raised an eyebrow, "you mean Alpha, then no, it wasn't. It was a stuck-up arse-hole called X."

"X?" Jay repeated, just to make sure she had the name right as a slow grin spread across her face.

"Not the X you're thinking of." Aileen explained. "This X was way before your time… Although, your X can be one as well."

Jay smirked, but the expression dropped when the full implications finally occurred to Jay. "So… what was Kay like, then? Was he…alright?"

"He was," Aileen searched for the right words to describe the memory version of Kay, "gangly, skinny, and looked like the suit was two sizes too big for him."

Jay snorted at the image Aileen's words had conjured.

"But his eyes, they were…" Aileen trailed off.

"Blue?" Jay supplied unhelpfully. "Because I'd be surprised if they were green."

Aileen rolled her eyes at Jay's comment. "They were too old for him. Like he had seen too much of the world, and wanted nothing more to do with it."

"It was right after A became Alpha, wasn't it?" Jay said finally.

Aileen nodded sombrely. "Yes. It was."

Jay knew she shouldn't be worried – after all, Kay had survived, and was alive – but worry wormed its way into her heart regardless. "Was he as stony-faced as he is now?"

"No." Aileen shook her head. "Worse. He didn't have the will to live."

Jay waited quietly for Aileen to continue.

"Zed…" Aileen considered the man, "he was there. A constant factor in Kay's life, if you could look at it that way."

"He picked up the pieces?" Jay asked. "Had a heart-to-heart?"

"No." Aileen snorted at the thought. "Jay, they're _guys_. When was the last time you saw two men have a heart-to-heart that did not involve manly pats on the back as opposed to heartfelt words?"

Jay laughed quietly. "Point taken."

"That ended up being my job." Aileen admitted.

"So, did you two ever…?" Jay nearly didn't want to ask the question.

"No," Aileen shook her head, "it was never going to work. We were too similar."

"Oh. I'm…" _what? Sorry?_ Jay knew she wasn't.

"Don't say it." Aileen cast a sly look at Jay. "Because I know you won't mean it." A smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

"I wasn't saying anything." Jay hid her grin. "What ever gave you that idea?"

"Nice try, Junior." Aileen brought the coffee mug to her lips and sipped, fighting the urge to laugh when Jay pulled a face at the nickname.

"Oh, man. You too?" Jay sighed. "Thought I outgrew that nickname thing."

"Son, one never becomes too old for nicknames." Aileen told Jay wisely, in a perfect imitation of Zed.

Both sniggered.

"So, what happens now?" Jay asked finally. "I mean, now that Serleena's gone. What are you and Eddy going to do?"

"Go back to Arbus." Aileen shrugged. "Go on missions. Plan for our wedding. Etc, etc, etc."

"Thought the wedding wasn't until next year?" Jay quirked an eyebrow.

"It isn't. Eddy just has a big family." Aileen explained simply.

"Oh." Jay muttered. "Um. Good luck, by the way."

"Thank you." Aileen nodded, and stood up from the table. Just before exiting the Kitchen, she turned around. "The same to you, Jay." Then she smirked. "I wasn't kidding when I said Kay's a catch."

Leaving Jay to blush in utter embarrassment, a very smug Arban left the Kitchen behind.


	12. Rocky Roads

**Rocky Roads**

"So," Jay ducked behind another vent as the punk with the blue hair fired off another shot at her, "why don't we blast that guy already?"

"Too risky," Kay raised his voice over the noise of blaster fire, "he's got the whole world in his hands."

"Okay," Jay rolled her eyes, and had to duck back behind the vent when she caught sight of the perp raising his gun again, "now you're doing that I'm-Speaking-In-Riddles-Because-It-Makes-Me-Sound-Wise thing again." Jay winced as another shot struck the vent. "You know I hate that."

When Kay made no answer, Jay glanced at the spot where he last was. She sighed. "Hate it when you do that I'm-Disappearing-Like-A-Ninja-Just-Because-I-Can thing too."

A clicking sound announced that the perp was out of ammunition.

"Finally." Jay muttered, and dashed around the vent and after the perp. The perp led her on a merry chase, one that led from the rooftops to a speedy descent down into the alleyway below. It came to a close when Jay tackled the perp just as they reached the mouth of the alleyway.

"Okay," Jay had him in a chokehold, "you have the right to remain silent and…" Jay paused, and wondered if there was anything else he had a right to, "…that's about it, really- Ugh!"

A fine purple mist erupted from the back of the perp's head, and caught Jay in the eyes.

"Argh!" Jay let the perp go, and rubbed at her eyes. She was caught unaware when the perp grabbed her by the front of her collar, and threw her into the walls of the alleyway.

"Ow." Jay's head pounded, and she heard the sound of the perp getting away-

"Oof!"

_Apparently not_.

"Gotcha." Kay sounded smug. "Freeze, Fmecks."

As expected, the aliens did not heed his advice, and took off for the sewers. Kay rolled his eyes at the cliché response.

"Stolen merchandise recov- Slick!" the shout of alarm reached her ears even as her vision twisted horribly and darkened.

#MIB#

It was dark when Jay woke up, and instinctively, she thrashed about, trying to get her bearings. A pair of hands gripped her arms, and pinned her down. Naturally, when one could not see and was being attacked by an unknown person, the sensible reaction was usually to fight back as hard as possible.

Jay jerked her hand free, and her hand struck against something soft.

"Ugh!" whoever was holding her down persisted. "Slick, calm down," Kay wheezed, trying to regain his breath from the blow to his solar plexus to make his voice more recognisable, "it's me."

"Kay?" Relief flooded through Jay for a second, before relief turned guilt. "Sorry, man." Guilt turned back to panic just a second later. "I can't see!"

"Oh, we know that, Agent Jay."

Jay turned her head in the general direction of the voice. "Doc? That you?"

"Sure is." Zeeltor answered happily. "Ah, so good to see that your hearing isn't damaged. I wonder if your sight is the only thing that's been affected…"

"What?!"

"Deep breaths, Jay." Kay advised, and gently lifted her up into a sitting position.

"What happened?" Jay attempted to rub her eyes, only to have Kay pull her hands away.

"Don't do that," Kay let her hands go, and started to explain, "Fmecks hit you with some sort of vision impairment compound. Not sure exactly what it is, though."

"But," Zeeltor chimed in from the darkness, and Jay heard the click of a torch, "your eyes are making a remarkably quick recovery. Must be your Ignisian physiology."

Jay cringed when a sharp light streaked through the darkness. The torch was clicked off immediately.

"Hm." Zeeltor hmmed. "I'd say it'd take a few days for your vision to return, at the least."

"A few days?" Jay echoed. "You saying I'm going to be blind as a bat for a few days?"

"Technically," Zeeltor corrected her, "bats aren't blind. They actually use a very sophisticated form of echo-location-"

"Speaking of which," Kay cut in before Zeeltor could ramble on, "I have an idea that can help you see, but I won't have time to run it through properly with you."

Jay's eyebrows creased in confusion. "Are you going on another mission?"

"Of a sort." Kay answered. "Zed'll fill you in on that."

"Oh." Jay looked at Kay's general direction. "What was your idea again?"

#MIB#

Jay nearly walked into another wall.

"How're you doing?" Zeeltor asked from somewhere behind her.

"Not as bad as I thought, actually." Jay's hands crept along the wall, until she found the end of it. "It's working, in terms of avoiding ambushes."

"Good, good." Zeeltor scribbled on his clipboard. "Quite fascinating, really."

"Thanks…I think." The familiar smell of coffee reached her nose, and she grinned. "Hey, I made it to the kitchen."

"Ah, good." More scribbling. "I suppose I can leave you here for now?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, ta ta, Jay." Zeeltor plodded away, and Jay 'watched' the yellow light go further and further away.

When Jay, upon Kay's request, had dove back into the 'Light-scape' as she had dubbed it unofficially, she had been surprised to learn that it had changed since the last time she visited. Now, cords of light joined her to the other lights – she nearly had a panic attack when she spotted the thick blue cord joining her to Kay – and she found that different people's lights were of different intensity, along with a sort of light trail they left behind when they moved.

Kay's, for example, seemed a lot brighter than U's.  
("Wow, Kay. You really shine, you know that?"  
"…I'll assume that's a good thing.")

_Maybe it's based on the people I like_. Jay mused.

A yellow light hovering at the entrance of the kitchen brought her attention to it. A cord joined her to it.

"X?" Jay called out. "That you, buddy?"

Whoever the owner of the yellow light was remained silent. The yellow light suddenly disappeared, before it returned. Something was different about it, though.

"What are you doing in here, little ears?"

Jay let out a sigh of relief. It was X after all. "Oh, you know. Just a little R and R."

"Oh, yeah," X remembered, "that's right. You're blind."

"That was blunt." A blue light joined the two. "How're you holding up, Jay?"

"Eh. Could be worse, Elle." Jay looked at where Elle's light shone. A thought suddenly occurred to her. "Say, did you see anyone at the kitchen door, like, a few seconds ago?"

"No." Elle answered. "You see anything, X?"

"Nope."

"Hm." Jay bit her lip. She shrugged – the yellow light she first saw was probably X after all.

#MIB#

NOT THAT MUCH LATER

"You did WHAT?!" Zed's roar brought the attention of many to the four Worms, Jay's and A's attention included.

"Hey, not our fault-" Neeble began.

"-that we was robbed." Sleeble finished.

"Oh, for crying out-" Zed shook himself. "That ball," he hissed through gritted teeth, "is a microplanet that Kay is currently on!" Zed finally seemed to realise that the entire Hub was listening, and that a look of horror was appearing on Jay's face, an emotion which was mirrored by A - _no, Alpha_ – as it occurred to the both of them where Kay's mission was.

The looks of horror turned into identical determination, and Zed mused that between the dogged determination of the two of them, they'd probably have Tharsthia back by forty minutes, tops.

And so, when Jay and A requested to go on the search, Zed decided _Heck with it. Why not?_

It was nearly ten minutes later when he remembered that Jay was blind, and that A was, well, formerly known as Alpha and needed to be under constant guard. Which, considering Jay's condition, wasn't plausible.

Incidentally, it was possibly the worst decision he had ever made in a long time.

#MIB#

"Well? Are you getting anything?" A watched Jay, as she stood still.

"I'm…I'm picking up little bits. As in microscopic." Jay turned her unseeing eyes towards some spot behind A. It was unnerving, to say in the least. "There!"

A turned around, and groaned at the sight.

"What?" Jay looked confused. "What do you see? A ball pit?"

"Worse." Secretly, A admitted that a ball pit might have been worse. "Children. In a park."

Finding Tharsthia was surprisingly easy. Extracting the orb from the little girl who was currently playing with it was much harder.

"Young lady," A started talking to the girl, "we really need that ball. It belongs to…someone we know."

Jay sensed the slight flare in the girl's light before she threw the ball, and Jay's warning came just a little too late. "A, she's gonna throw-"

The microplanet whistled through the air.

"-the ball." Jay finished lamely.

A took off after the ball, muttering about the respect young people had for their elders or lack thereof.

Jay sighed, and followed the light trail A left behind, and then switched to the lights glowing from the ball, or more specifically, the thick blue cord that thinned as she got closer to the ball.

A sharp screech of tires, and A's hand on her arm prevented her from becoming the most recent addition to the road.

"Maybe we shouldn't split up." A noted, hand still gripping Jay's arm tightly.

"Y-yeah." Jay agreed, still shaken from nearly becoming roadkill.

"Are you getting any reception?" A asked.

"Um…" Jay focused, "that-a-way."

A looked at where she was pointing, and swore. "Taxi!" he waved a taxi down, and bundled Jay into the taxi. "Follow that scooter!" he ordered.

Jay nearly let out a hysterical laugh. Of all the places, it had to be on a scooter.

#MIB#

"This is getting ridiculous." A declared as the two stopped at Frank's newsstand.

"Ugh, tell me about." Jay muttered.

"Any idea where the trail leads?"

"None whatsoever." Jay's eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "I can't get a reading. The light trail's gone cold."

A grimaced. "If only I hadn't gone after that dog-"

"Okay, knock off the self-flagellation. You couldn't have known." Jay started towards the newsstand. "We've got a planet to find, remember?"

Before Jay could start questioning Frank, A lifted the pug up by the scruff of his neck, and demanded "What in Palomar's name have you done with the orb?"

…

"You mean I got five dollars for Kay?!"

"Frank!" Jay snapped, and glared.

"…Why are you glaring daggers at my water bowl?"

"Come on!" A was already down the street, and Jay darted after him, pushing aside thoughts of mangling a particular pug.

When Jay finally caught up with A, a gun fight had broken out. Jay blocked out the sounds of blaster fire, and focused on the small ball of lights rolling away. The blue cord stretched, and confirmed Jay's suspicions that Kay was at the end of it.

Her concentration broke when a jet of water caught her in the face. Coughing and spluttering, Jay shook water out of her face, brushing off A's call of "Sorry, Jay!"

"Pht!" Jay gave her face a general wipe down, and pressed a finger to her ear commlink. With luck, Kay woud be within range. "Kay? Can you hear me? Where are you?"

"_You tell me, Slick."_ Kay's breathing sounded laboured.

"Kay? Are you alright?" Jay frowned. "Wait. How much time do you have left?"

"_Jay… we're well into meltdown mode."_

"Shoot!" Jay hissed. "I can't pick up your trail. I can't see a thing!" She tried to expand her reception, and the Lightscape, which previously had only the main important lights in it, flared to life with the entire population of New York.

The blurry confusing cacophony of lights was worse than not being able to pick up Kay's trail. Different shades of blue assaulted her from all sides – _ow, ow, OW! _–and the nearly none-existent trail disappeared altogether.

"Kay… I-I can't…" Jay lost her balance, and collapsed against the wall, shuddering.

"_Jay. Breathe."_ Kay replied with unruffled calm. _"Focus."_

"I can't." Jay held a hand to her throbbing head. "There's too much going on…"

"_Listen to my voice."_ Kay instructed. _"Now focus on it. Just listen. Nothing else exists right now, okay?"_

Jay took several deep breaths. "Okay. I'm listening." The other lights began to clear, and dim, until the blue cord remained, leading off to the distance.

"_Now follow it and find it."_ The cord pulsed in synchronisation.

_Deep breaths, Edwards._ A small cluster of lights waited at the end of the blue cord, and suddenly, the rest of the lights flared in warning again.

Jay dove forwards, scooped up the ball, and tumbled to a stop, barely hearing the shouts of the construction workers.

"Kay? You in here?"

"…_I sure hope so."_ Kay answered dryly.

Jay let out a shaky laugh. "Good."

"Jay, hold out the orb." A's voice suddenly popped up.

"A?" Jay frowned at A. "Why?"

"Just do it!" the older agent sounded frantic. "It'll help with cooling down the planet."

"Shiz! The meltdown!" Jay held out the orb, and immediately, the small ball was covered with something cold and sticky.

"…_Rocky road ice-cream?"_ Jay caught the barest hint of disbelief in Kay's voice. _"My favourite. I'm surprised he remembered."_

"I guess it's the little things that matter." Jay pointed out wisely. Kay grunted, a noise that could have either been taken as a negative or affirmative answer.

"What are you talking about?" A couldn't hear Kay, and only heard one half of the conversation.

"Oh, nothing of importance." Jay diverted the question. "Say, how long have you had that ice-cream?" Suspicion crept in. "When'd you even get the time to buy it?"

Jay knew A was smirking, just by his voice. "Who said anything about buying it?"

"Oh, no." Jay grimaced, already running through the worst case scenarios in her head. "Do I want to know how you got it?"

"Let's just say now would be a good time to start running." A started walking away quickly. "Unless you can take on a walking bundle of muscle, that is." He shot over his shoulder.

A blue, angry light grew steadily bigger behind Jay, and she gulped. "That's my cue to get outta here."

#MIB#

"We Frasthians thank you for retrieving our sister planet Tharsthia." The leader of the Frasthians smiled in gratitude. "I am pleased to report that both of our climates have returned to the beautiful weather it was before."

"I'm glad to hear that." Zed answered, silently hiding a sigh of relief. _If those two had taken another minute…_

"Where are the three agents that retrieved Tharsthia? I would like to thank them."

"Uh…" Zed glanced around the Hub. "About that. One of them required medical attention, and, knowing Jay, she'd be with him." Zed smiled to himself, before wiping the smile off. "The last one, well, I have no idea where he is. But I'll be sure to pass on your thanks."

The Frasthian nodded, and the screen flickered off.

#MIB#

A watched the two agents through the observation window to the infirmary. Kay was hooked up to an IV – no doubt to counter the severe dehydration he underwent while on Farthsia – and looked like he was asleep. It was a likely prospect, considering that he would probably never had let Jay do what she was doing now had he been awake – nestled against his side, sightless eyes closed and head resting against his shoulder and neck.

They made quite the pair.

_That must be awfully ticklish for Kay._ A noted the wisps of hair brushing against Kay's neck. _He's definitely asleep…They probably both are._

Even as A watched, Jay suddenly lifted her head, and stared straight at him through the observation glass. It took a moment for A to remember Jay's still-present Ignisian powers. Jay grinned at him, and waved. A waved back, even though he knew that Jay probably couldn't sense it.

To his surprise, Kay opened his eyes, and said something to Jay.

Once A got over his initial shock of _Oh-My-Gosh-He-Was-Awake-The-Whole-Time_, he started to read Kay's lips, and caught the end of the question.

…_everything alright, Slick?_ The blue-eyed man blinked, and studied the woman curled up by his side.

Jay turned her head, hiding her words from A. A was torn between admitting defeat gracefully (turning away and leaving) and accepting defeat ungracefully (growling in frustration). From the way Kay did not start firing at the one-way glass with the Series 4 De-Atomiser Handgun, A guessed that Jay had said something along the lines of "No problemo." instead of "Yeah – except A's spying on us."

Jay pressed a quick kiss against Kay's cheek (much to the latter's surprise), and dropped her head on his shoulder again. Kay shot a perplexed look at his partner, before wrapping his arm around her and resting his head against the top of hers.

_Brooding with your eyes closed?_ Jay murmured cheekily, already slipping into sleep.

Even from the one-way glass, A could see Kay crack a grin at Jay's statement.

_Uh-huh._ Kay returned steadily.

"They are quite cute, aren't they?" an amused voice noted from somewhere next to A.

A's gaze finally left the couple and looked at Elle. "He's changed. A lot."

"Tell me about it." Elle smiled slightly, before the smile turned into a smirk. "But I know he'd still hunt the two of us down if he ever finds out we were watching. Jay probably wouldn't be too far behind."

A let out a soft harrumph. He had no doubt about that – about either of them.


	13. Stardom

**Stardom**

"_I don't sing."  
- Agent K, when asked if he was carolling.  
(The Black Christmas Syndrome)_

#MIB#

_**Everything was pitch black. There was no light anywhere, and nothing could be seen-**_

"Troy!" Jay snapped in exasperation, breaking the Symbiote off in his commentary. "D'you mind?"

Troy's voice returned to his normal pitch, from the deep, dark monotone he had used. "Nope. Not at all." He told Jay cheerfully.

"That," Jay grumbled, "was not what I meant, and you know it."

"Heh-heh." He chuckled. "Sorry, Jay. But seriously, though, what can you see?"

"In the future?" Jay suggested darkly. "I see myself kicking you into next week if you don't stop pestering me."

"Woah. What's gotten your knickers in a twist?"

"Gee, I don't know," Jay responded sarcastically, "maybe the fact that you've been waving your host's hands in front of my eyes for the past five minutes as though I couldn't see anything?"

"Wait! You _could_ see all that?"

"Oh, yeah." Jay smirked evilly, pulled off her sunglasses, and looked straight at Troy, not in his general direction, but _straight at_ _him_. "Did I forget to mention that?"

"Eeeeeeeeyah!" Troy's scream became fainter the further away he got.

There was an exasperated sigh from Jay's right. "You enjoyed that way too much."

"Oh, please, X." Jay sniggered as she replaced her sunglasses. "You would've done the same."

"True." X conceded. "But like the blob asked – just what can you see? Because I know you still can't see clearly." If Jay running into the kitchen wall wasn't an indication of her blindness, then X didn't know what was.

"That's exactly it." Jay peered over the rim of her sunglasses, and her glassy eyes hovered over X momentarily before she pushed the sunglasses back up the bridge of her nose. "I see blobs – blobs of colour, that is. Quite nauseating, actually."

"I'm guessing that's why you keep your eyes hidden behind the sunglasses?"

"Spot on." Jay grinned.

_Beep-beep._

Both agents scrambled to reach for their communicators, and Jay discovered, "It's mine."

"_Junior? Gonna need you up here. I'm sending you on a mission."_

#MIB#

"They're Sirens."

Jay pulled her earphones out. "Beg your pardon?"

"They're Sirens," Kay repeated, "Four Directions, the band you're listening to."

"Sirens?" Jay echoed. "Thought they were mythical creatures."

"Nope. They're not." Kay looked out the window of the Black Track.

"…and they don't have to be exclusively female?" Jay asked. " 'Cause, you know, the lead singer's a guy. And their drummer's a _girl._"

"They don't have to be." Kay returned his gaze back to the interior of the train.

Seconds ticked by.

"So…" Jay wondered aloud, "…do these Sirens have the same, ah... intentions as their mythical counterparts?"

"Not quite." Kay replied. "They _could_ use their powers to put inferior minded beings under their control, but most tend not to."

" 'Inferior minded beings'? " Jay quoted wryly.

"Animals, mostly."

"Oh, I'm so terrified." Jay deadpanned. "Save me from the oncoming horde of hypnotised meerkats."

Beside her, Kay rolled his eyes.

"So," Jay asked, "exactly why are we going to Hollywood?"

"Three alien actors have gone missing," Kay explained, then added, a touch accusingly, "which is something you'd know if you read the briefing file."

"Blind, remember?"

"Then you should've been listening to Zed." Kay retorted lightly.

"Speaking of which," Jay ignored Kay's retort, "if I'm blind, how come Zed's sending me on a mission? Not that I'm complaining. It's just that I'll probably end up more of a hinder than help."

"Slick, you've been at MiB headquarters for the past week. Cabin fever's never good." Kay mumbled something else afterwards.

"What'd you just say?"

"I said," Kay repeated, slightly louder, "that Zed thought it was a good way to get Troy out of your hair."

Jay snorted. "More like a good way to stop me from terrorising him."

#MIB#

"Three alien actors with the same agent and you _don't_ see a pattern?" Jay spluttered incredulously.

"Nope."

#MIB#

"Oh." Kay said suddenly.

"What?" Jay glanced around, for lack of a better word, blindly. "We at Space Demon's yet?"

"Not quite."

"Well, then what?"

There was a short silence from Kay, and Jay got the vague impression that he was embarrassed. "Remember those Sirens I told you about?"

"Yeah." Jay had a feeling that she was missing out on something important. "What about them?"

"They're one of E's clients." Kay answered.

"And just how do you know that?"

"Try the three foot concert poster." came the wry answer, and Jay sighed.

_I just have to be blind now, don't I?_ Jay risked opening her eyes, and had to shut them almost immediately when a swirling mess of colour and light assaulted her eyes. "It sucks being blind."

"It's a good way to learn echolocation." Kay reminisced about his temporary blindness, except that incident had included Darkons bent on keeping the earth in the dark.

"Yeah, but only for you." Jay gave Kay's arm a little poke. "I still don't know how you managed to land that ship."

#MIB#

"I bet the victims are cocooned under the floorboards." – a whisper.

A derisive snort – "Doubtful."

#MIB#

The sound of papers being shifted greeted Jay's ears. "Did you get any sleep last night?" she questioned her partner with a yawn.

"Nope." Kay answered from the other end of the couch.

Jay rubbed at the crick in her neck. Against all odds, she had managed to fall asleep on the uncomfortable couch in E's office last night. A faint memory of curling against Kay floated to mind, before she pushed it away as irrelevant.

The papers were rustled again.

"Going through E's files on her clients?" Jay asked as she stretched. "Make any connections?"

"Not really-"

Something buzzed, and both Jay and Kay reached for their communicators.

It was Kay's.

Ignoring Jay's mutter of "We really need to have unique ringtones…", Kay answered the call.

"Kay here."

"_Kay,"_ E sounded distraught, _"there was another one." _

"Who?"

"_One of the Astro-Tots is missing."_

#MIB#

"It's got to be Space Demon!" Jay hissed to Kay as the two walked down the street. Exactly where they were, Jay had no idea.

"Some things still aren't adding up, Slick." Jay could tell that Kay probably had his I'm-Brooding face on.

"Kay, he pretty much _confessed_ that he hated Predaterminator for stealing his limelight," Jay counted off the reasons on her fingers, "Eddelfop mocked him on national TV, and then he said that the Astro-Tots drove him mad. And the next thing we know, one of these Astro-Tots get whacked!"

Jay waited for Kay's verdict.

"...Space Demon may be the next victim."

"What?!" Jay would have stared at Kay, if she could. "What makes you say that?"

"He doesn't have a grudge against Four Directions, much less the lead singer and the drummer, and they haven't been attacked yet."

"…What?" Jay said slowly. "That doesn't make any sense-"

"-To me, it does-"

"-Don't know about you," Jay interrupted Kay, "but my case is looking pretty good right now, and this is coming from someone who's blind."

Kay didn't answer, and instead, tugged Jay by her hand and the two entered a building.

"Where are we, anyhow?"

"Egyptian Theatre." Kay answered. "Four Directions have a performance on tonight, and I have my suspicions."

"You mean you think the Sirens-"

Kay squeezed her hand in warning, and Jay broke off.

"You two from the Agency?"

Jay started in surprise, and glanced between the two lights – the blue one, Kay, and the yellow one, the speaker. "Uh…that wasn't you, was it, Kay?" Jay wondered if she had been mistaken.

"No," the blue light pulsed as Kay spoke to the yellow light, "we're Division Six, from New York City."

An identical voice, the same one that asked if the two were from the Agency, answered. "Oh. So, why are you here?"

"We're here to investigate the recent disappearances of your peers, and we're going to need to do a quick inspection around here." Kay informed the Siren smoothly.

"Why, of course." The Siren answered, and Jay felt Kay giving her hand one more squeeze before he left her side.

Jay's gaze flitted between the two identical voices with growing amazement. "You two sound the same."

"Heh heh." One of the voices chuckled, and Jay knew immediately that it wasn't Kay. Kay did _not_, under any circumstances, chuckle. (And he was possibly already 'inspecting' the area, and too far away to strike up a conversation.) "Guess you're right, little lady. Looks like your partner could sing in my place if I ever call in sick." He joked.

"Oh, you don't want to," Jay shuddered, "trust me on this one, Mr…?"

"Brian Kale, lead singer of Four Directions." The Siren automatically held out his hand for Jay to shake.

Jay continued to stare off into space, until it occurred to her that Brian had probably held out his hand for her to shake. "Oh, sorry!" Jay grasped his hand. "I'm kinda blind right now."

"Really?" Brian asked curiously. "You hide it really well."

"Thanks." Jay smiled.

"So, I take it your partner's a bad singer?"

"Oh, yeah." Jay replied darkly.

"How'd you find out?" Brian asked curiously.

"I managed to persuade him to go carolling with a group of us one year." Jay explained, and shuddered at the memory of Kay's surprisingly loud tone deafness. "Never again." _Can't believe Jeebs actually asked him to sing._

Brian chuckled heartily.

"Brian?" a feminine voice, also another yellow light, asked from somewhere behind Brian. "Who's this? Is she part of the Agency?"

"Actually," Jay turned towards the new voice, "I'm from Division Six. You know, NYC."

"My name's Delia." The female Siren introduced herself. "I'm guessing you're here to investigate the disappearances of the other aliens under E's management?"

"Yeah-" Jay started to answer.

"Oi! Brian!" a new, masculine hollered from somewhere in the distance. "Do you know where we kept the microphone cords?"

Brian sighed, and Jay had a feeling he was rolling his eyes. "Yes!" he yelled back. "It's right in the van – where I rolled it up and packed it away!"

There was a beat as the owner of the voice processed the information.

"Oh. Okay!" the same voice shouted back, cheerily.

Brian let out a low growl of frustration.

"Wow." Jay muttered, unimpressed. "They always like that?"

"Yes." Brian sounded pained. "I swear they're unable to look after themselves – no offense, Delia." He added quickly to the drummer of the band.

"It's alright." Delia soothed the irate Siren. "I know what you mean."

"So," Jay tilted her head as she regarded Brian, "I take it this is a stressful job?"

"Yeah." Brian answered listlessly. "Long hours. Worrying about setting up before a concert. Writing songs. Meeting deadlines."

"And not to mention cleaning up after everyone else's mess." Delia added delicately. "The other guys are probably the laziest and most disorganised people I've ever met."

Jay winced. "Couldn't you, I don't know, maybe switch jobs? Go on a holiday, perhaps?"

"Hmph." Brian snorted. "They wouldn't last a day without me."

"Brian," Delia spoke up, "she's right, you know. I can handle them. You _need_ a break."

Brian sighed again, and Jay imagined him running a hand over his face. "Goodness knows I do." He muttered.

Jay's communicator buzzed. "Uh, excuse me." Jay smiled at the two members of Four Directions. "This is probably important."

"_Jay?"_

"Yo, Kay." Jay held the communicator to her ear. "Whassup?"

"_I need you to tail Space Demon. He may be next."_

"Kay," Jay pinched the bridge of her nose, "are you sure? As in completely?"

"_Not going to answer that question."_ came the unruffled reply. _"But I need you to keep an eye on-"_

"-Space Demon." Jay finished wearily. "I know. Talk to you later." Jay hung up.

"Leaving already?" Brian asked.

"Yup." Jay nodded. "Duty calls. I don't think E wants another one of her clients missing, especially after the Astro-Tots."

"The Astro-Tots?" Delia repeated. "Someone targeted those little guys?"

"Yeah. They did." Jay talked in Delia's general direction.

"That's terrible!" Delia sounded horrified. "I mean, yes, they may be anal-retentive about being goody-two shoes, but they wouldn't harm a fly."

"You've met them?" Jay asked.

"Why, yes, at a mini get-together of sorts that E held for us." Brian explained. "Throughout the whole night, they were very, ah… _disapproving_, to say in the least, of their acting peers' exploits. Something about how they were setting a bad example for all aliens."

"Really?" Jay questioned. "How?"

Brian snorted. "Have you seen the Predaterminator films? All that blood-" he shuddered "-gave me nightmares for weeks."

Jay chuckled. "Hah, well, I'd better get going." However, her mind was racing with the knowledge. It was a farfetched idea, and it would probably result in Kay giving her an I-Told-You-So look.

Maybe the Astro-Tots weren't as innocent as they looked.

#MIB#

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

"Look," Jay sighed, still in Space Demon's grip, "your acting's lovely, but could you put me down now? It's a bit tedious."

Space Demon paused mid-growl. "I- How did you know?"

Jay didn't bother explaining that his yellow light presence wasn't threatening to her, and 'sneaking' in front of her while her vision had mostly returned wasn't a good plan. "I had a hunch."

Space Demon lowered her to the ground, and he seemed rather downcast. "Oh. Okay, then."

"Don't worry, buddy." Jay's vision was still mostly blurred, but she found Space Demon's shoulder without too much trouble, and patted it sympathetically. "I filmed it on my communicator. We can show E later."

"Thanks." Space Demon replied honestly.

Jay was in the process of dialling for another cab when she stopped short, and Space Demon nearly walked into her.

"What? What is it?"

"Crap!" Jay swore. "If you're not the perp, then those Astro-Tots were guilty the whole time!"

"Astro-Tots?" Space Demon repeated. "Guilty? Those guys?"

"Yes, yes, and yes!" Jay whirled around to look at Space Demon. "They've got the actors! I gotta call E. Quick, do you have a cell phone?"

"Yeah," Space Demon retrieved his human suit, "got one right here."

"Good," Jay told the alien as she tried to call E, "get a cab."

_Beep-beep._

Jay looked down at her communicator, and worry welled up when she saw the caller ID. "Kay? Is everything alright?"

"_Jay, we have a problem."_ It was Kay, alright. _"The lead singer's missing. Along with the drummer."_

"Oh, no." Jay muttered. "Is the concert still going ahead?"

"_If it wasn't, I wouldn't be calling you, would I?"_

#MIB#

The film studio for the Astro-Tots was well lit with bright lights. Jay kept her eyes hidden behind the sunglasses.

"Okay, Astro-Tots. Come on out. I know you're here." Jay called out.

E and Space Demon watched the monitors from the security room, looking for the small aliens.

Blurry outlines of the Astro-Tots stepped out from behind the props. "Hello, Miss Jay." One of them spoke politely.

"Okay, cut the drama, guys." Jay went straight to the chase. "Why'd you do it?"

"Well, they were horrible role models, and so nasty." Another Astro-Tot cooed. "They were giving aliens a bad name."

"They were films, Astro-Tots." Jay resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "They're _actors_. They were _acting_. Wasn't real."

"They were bad." The Third Astro-Tot insisted.

Jay did roll her eyes. "And let me guess – Eddelfop pushed the line with name-calling?"

"Why, yes."

_You guys are nuts._ "Still doesn't explain one thing, though." Jay voiced her final question. "Why'd you guys go after Annette?"

"She was going to tattle on us." The First Astro-Tot answered again.

"You mean," Jay quirked an eyebrow in an impressive copy of Kay, "she got a conscience."

…  
"Goodness," E muttered to Space Demon, "that's cynical."  
…

"Are you gonna tattle?" the Second Astro-Tot asked Jay sweetly as he pulled out a gun.

"You bet I am." Jay grinned. "Yo," she waved at the security camera, "hit the lights, Space Demon!"

The lights in the studio shut off with a clang, and the room was plunged into darkness.

One of the Astro-Tots gasped. "I can't see!"

"Join the club, ankle-biter." Jay's grin turned into a smirk.

…

"That was impressive." Space Demon complimented Jay. "Took you about a minute to get the three of them."

"Eh, no biggie." Jay shrugged. "Any sign of the other actors?"

"'Fraid not." The serpentine alien shook his head. "Think they've been vaporised?"

"Astro-Tots!" E wailed. "Why would you do something like this? It's so…"

Something in Jay clicked. "…Out of character." She finished for E. "Of course! They wouldn't vaporise anyone because they don't have it in them."

"Where'd you put the actors? Where are the musicians?" Jay demanded.

"Please don't be mad." One of the Astro-Tots smiled at her. "They've gone to a happier place."

_Happier place…happier place… happier pl-_

"Of course." Jay's gaze fell upon the planet prop. "_That's_ where you sent them. Yo, Space Demon!" she tossed the Astro-Tots' gun at him. "Shoot that planet!"

Space Demon barely caught the gun and nearly fumbled it. "Huh? Why? Shouldn't you be the one with the gun?"

"Nah, vision's still blurry." Jay shrugged it off.

"Oh. Okay."

One gunshot later, three alien actors appeared out of the haze. Brian and Delia were no-where in sight.

"Oh, man." Jay groaned. "They were supposed to be here!"

"Who was?" Space Demon looked away from the re-union with E and her clients.

"The frickin' musicians, that's who!" Jay whirled around to question the Astro-Tots again. "Wait a sec. You guys didn't kidnap Brian and Delia, did you?"

"Why would we?" Roy the Astro-Tot asked genuinely innocently. "They've never done anything."

"Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!" Jay hissed. _Where can they be?_

The Astro-Tots were utterly appalled at her language, while Space Demon, on the other hand, guffawed at her panic.

"Relax, ma'am." He slapped Jay on the back. "And cut down on the language."

"I'll swear as much as I want, thank you." Jay glared at Space Demon.

_Beep-beep._

"Kay? Really not a good time-"

"_Gee, you think?"_ Kay sounded just as stressed. _"Show's about to start in fifty minutes, and we're running out of time here. Listen, the lead singer's not kidnapped by the Astro-Tots-"_

"I know!" Jay nearly shouted into the communicator. "I know they're not here! Any idea where they are?"

"_None whatsoever. Do you?"_

It finally occurred to Jay that Kay was very stressed. "Dude, take a deep breath and try to relax a bit."

"_Jay!"_ Kay snapped.

"Seriously, man. You're worrying me-" Jay broke off as her own words illuminated a proverbial light bulb. "Kay, I know where they are! I'll be there in an hour and ten minutes."

"_An hour and ten minutes?"_ Kay sounded desperate. _"There's only one hour!"_

"Well," Jay was already flagging down a taxi, with Space Demon right behind her, "entertain them or something. Do a stand-up comedy."

Jay could even feel the glare through the communicator. "Actually, never mind. See you in a bit, Kay."

Finally, a taxi pulled up. Jay and Space Demon tumbled in. "Los Angeles International Airport! And step on it!"

#MIB#

"Delia!" Jay dodged around the busy travellers. "Wait- Where's Brian?!"

"Agent Jay," Delia began, "please, I had to do something-"

Jay was bent double, panting for breath. "Let me guess," she wheezed, "he's already on a plane?"

"And on the way to Hawaii." Delia smiled proudly, before the smile dropped. "Before you arrest me, please let me explain. I couldn't just watch Brian work himself to death. I mean, I know you're probably not allowed to, but isn't there someone in your life that you love so much that you'd risk everything for?"

Jay finally regained her breath as Space Demon caught up. "Yeah, there is, actually." Jay smiled in understanding. "I know the feeling. And relax – I ain't arresting anybody. Uh, not counting the Astro-Tots, of course."

"Where's-" Space Demon wheezed, "where's the-" -gasp- "-the lead singer?"

"Hawaii." Jay and Delia answered in unison.

_Beep-beep._

"_Jay! Twenty minutes!"_

"Uh, Kay," Jay spoke into the communicator, "there's a minor prob-"

"Start the concert at the usual time." Delia interrupted Jay. "We're good to go."

There was a stunned silence from both of the Agents of Division Six.

Then, Kay, unruffled, calm, Kay, recovered. _"…Okay, then."_

The line disconnected, and Jay was left opening and closing her mouth like a gold fish. "I can't," Jay finally choked out, "believe you said that. We have only twenty minutes, and it takes a fricking _thirty minutes_ to get from here to the Egyptian Theatre! And your lead singer's not coming back for a long time!"

"Actually, not for two weeks, if you wanted to go into details- hurk!" Delia broke off when Jay grabbed her and dragged her through the crowd.

"We've got to get back to the theatre!"

#MIB#

FIVE MINUTES TILL SHOW TIME

"Bill, I don't like this." the guitarist plucked at his instrument.

"Me neither, Frank." Bill made the final adjustments to his keyboard.

…

Kay's nervousness could only be seen by the way his fingers twitched around the communicator.

_Where the heck are you, Jay?_

#MIB#

FIVE MINUTES AFTER THE BEGINNING OF 'SHOW TIME'

"Your partner's still not back with Brian and Delia?" Frank was on the verge of tearing out his hair.

"Nope. 'fraid not."

#MIB#

EIGHT MINTUES AFTER THE BEGINNING OF 'SHOW TIME'

"_Slick? It's Kay. Where are you?"_

"I'm in a taxi, Kay." Jay replied automatically.

"_You'd better get here quick."_

"As in PDQ?" Jay asked, smirking.

"_Preferably."_

"We're almost there." Delia spoke across from Space Demon, who was seated between them. "Tell him to tell the other guys to start."

"What?" Jay twisted to look around Space Demon, and covered the mouthpiece of the communicator. "But you guys don't have a singer-"

"The singing doesn't actually begin until two minutes into the song, Jay." Delia explained. "I can still make it, and wing it."

"_You're_ going to sing?!" Jay's eyes bulged.

#MIB#

"Delia said to start." Kay informed the two remaining members of Four Directions.

"But Brian's not back!" Bill whined.

"I know, but-" Kay started to try and placate the worried Sirens.

"Hang on." Frank scrutinised Kay. "Your voice. It sounds just like Brian's."

Kay looked at Frank, then at Bill, who both had identical looks of I-Have-A-Plan. Kay had a feeling he knew what the plan was.

_Oh, no._

…

Kay hated singing with a passion. It wasn't entirely because he was tone deaf, although it had a major part to do with it.

It was, unbelievably, stage fright that caused the most of his hatred. Kay was always the quiet one in class, the one who observed everything, and never drew attention to himself.

"Oh, don't worry," Frank had waved his protests away flippantly, "you'll just be backstage. You won't even be seen by the audience."

Said audience, of course, was also the type that had been waiting impatiently for nine minutes and counting.

_Jay, hurry._

#MIB#

THIRTEEN MINUTES AFTER THE BEGINNING OF 'SHOW TIME'

"We're almost there, you said." Jay quoted sarcastically, as the taxi was stuck at yet another red light.

"Hey," Delia protested, "how was I supposed to know that the traffic would be bad?"

"Look, no offense," Jay massaged her temples, "but your other colleagues seem to be-"

"Idiots?"

"Yes," Jay agreed, "that. Even though I haven't really met them, I think I can accurately say that they'll force Kay to sing in Brian's place."

"Who's Kay?" Delia asked, unsure of exactly who Jay was talking about.

"He's my partner. The tone deaf guy who went carolling once, and never again."

"Oh, man." Delia rubbed her temples as she realised who Jay meant. "I did _not_ see that coming-"

"Shush!" Space Demon hushed the two women. "There's something on the radio. Say," he asked the taxi driver, "could you turn that up?"

"…_..and now, live from the Egyptian Theatre, we bring you Four Directions in their first performance in-"_

"You're doomed." Jay stated dispassionately to Delia.

"No, we're not." Delia insisted. "It's not over till the tone-deaf man sings."

Space Demon groaned and face-palmed.

#MIB#

ONE MINUTE LATER

"Shoot, he's gonna sing." Jay muttered as the three dashed around the back of the Theatre, and sure enough, a voice identical to Brian's could be heard faintly through the walls.

Delia cringed. "He's horrible. Sorry." She added, upon remembering that Kay was Jay's partner.

"Don't worry. That's exactly what I told him." Jay pulled open the back door. "He agreed."

"Okay," Delia dived for her drum kit behind the curtain. "I'll start up the back beat with the next verse."

"Woah, what happened to singing?" Jay skidded to a stop. "Surely you're not going to let Kay sing the whole thing?"

"Jay, I can't sing!" Delia told Jay. "I'm sorry, but I'm a drummer. Not a singer."

"Oh, for Paraskevopoulos's sake! You're a frickin' Siren! How can you not sing?" Without waiting for an answer, Jay left Delia still getting ready for performing, and used the 'Lightscape' to find Kay.

Upon seeing Jay, Kay clicked the microphone off as the verse finally ended. "Where's the real singer?"

"In Hawaii." Jay answered. When Kay gave her a questioning look, Jay told him, "Later."

Kay sighed. "I take it I'm singing, then?"

"Not if I can help it." Jay took the microphone from him. "Do you have the lyrics for this thing?"

"Here." He handed her a piece of paper, and Jay remembered belatedly that her vision was still too blurry. She squinted at the tiny type, and tried to figure out what it said.

Kay watched as she finally scrunched up the piece of paper. "You memorized it?" he was impressed.

"Nope." Jay announced cheerily. "I'm still mostly blind, remember?"

"Why'd you just scrunch that up?" Kay could feel tendrils of panic starting up again. "I could have-"

Jay snorted. "Not in thirty seconds, you couldn't have."

As the music rolled around for the second verse, Kay finally spoke again. "Now what?"

Jay grinned in a devil-may-care way. "I'm going to wing it."

The microphone clicked on, and Kay winced.

…  
"Thank goodness we have Neuralysers."  
…

"Jay! I've got a bone to pick with you." Troy's voice carried across the Hub.

"What, Troy?" Jay sighed, silently hoping that he had not caught wind of the embarrassing impromptu singing in Hollywood. _Kay, you'd have better not have said anything._

"I know you're still blind." Troy announced triumphantly.

"Actually, no, I'm not." Jay replied. "Hello, A." she greeted Troy's host. "They let you meld with Troy?"

A's greeting was drowned out by Troy's loud "Oh, pffft. Do you take me for an idiot?"

_Yes._ "No." Jay figured that it wouldn't hurt to lie in this case.

"X could've just told you that." Troy continued, oblivious to the fact that Jay was looking straight at him again. "And last time was just a fluke- eek!"

A small fireball had whizzed straight towards the Symbiote's head, and Troy barely dodged it.

"Satisfied?" Jay smirked.

Troy gulped. "Yes."

"There you are." A new voice spoke from behind her.

"Uh, Jay," Troy eyed the large alien behind Jay, "don't turn around now, but there's Tall, Dark and Creepy standing behind you."

"Hiya, Space." Jay turned around to face Space Demon. "I guess the film thing didn't work out?"

"Eh, not really." Space Demon shrugged. "I think I liked real action better. So, I took up your suggestion."

"MiB security?" Jay glanced at his new uniform.

"Mainly just monitor duty, though." Space Demon explained. "Still, better than rotting away in that dingy apartment."

"Well, have fun settling in." Jay smiled at the ex-actor, and was on the verge of leaving when a communicator beeped.

All those with hands scrabbled for their respective communicators.

"Uh, sorry, guys." Jay held up hers. "Think it's mine again."

"_Slick?"_

"Oh. Hi, Kay." Jay grinned. "I think you gave nearly everyone a heart attack."

"_Good."_ Kay rolled his eyes at Jay's greeting. _"There's something you might want to see."_

"Oh, no." Jay turned away from the others, and tried to keep the conversation as private as possible. "Would I want to destroy this thing and then neuralyse anyone who saw it afterwards?"

"_Well, it's technically an audio track-"_

"How did it get out?" Jay hissed in a whisper. "Who?"

"_Who else? The Worms."_

* * *

_**It takes 42 minutes to get from the Hollywood sign to the Los Angeles International Airport (at least, according to Google Maps). Like Jay said (or more accurately, Google Maps once again), it takes 30 minutes for them to get from the airport to the Egyptian Theatre. Therefore, it'll take Jay a total of 72 minutes.**_

_**Four Directions' (*snigger*) concert was supposed to begin after 50 minutes. However, this time is extended to 72 minutes. The singing doesn't begin until after two minutes into the first song, which makes it the 74**__**th**__** minute. But, traffic jams kick in, and Jay doesn't arrive until the 76**__**th**__** minute.**_


	14. Castling

_**Author's Notes: Gotta love chess.**_

* * *

**Castling**

The six-monthly check-ups were a messy affair. One was either declared to be healthy, then given a dose of necessary needles, or one was declared to be unhealthy, and given the dose of needles anyway. Jay cared little for the check-ups, and she knew she had a kindred soul in A.

And so, the morning of the six-monthly checkup found A - who already had his check-up - playing a game of chess against Jay, who hadn't had her check-up yet.

_'Playing'_, Jay mused, _was perhaps not the right word_.

_Totally kicking my butt at chess_ was probably the more accurate assessment.

"Check."

Jay made a noise of general annoyance, and stared at the board, struggling to find a way to save her King and stop her Queen from being taken at the same time.

"Well?" A smirked smugly.

"Can it. I'm thinking."

Finally, Jay sighed, and moved her Queen into the Bishop's line of fire. A's smirk broadened as he moved his Knight and took Jay's Queen.

"Checkmate."

Jay grumbled, and tipped her King over. "I don't suppose you want to play again?"

A raised his eyebrow. "Aren't you being called up next?"

"What?" Jay was surprised. "Course not. H just went in to Zeeltor's, and I's next, isn't she?"

"She would be, if she was here today."

Jay jumped, and twisted around in her seat to look at Kay. "Hey! Don't sneak up on me like that..." She trailed off into silence upon noticing A stiffening. And then, she blinked in surprise. Kay was standing within a ten metre vicinity of A, and _no one had died_.

Yet.

However, Jay mused that if the increasingly awkward silence kept up, _she'd_ die from the sheer silence.

Agent H walked out of the Med-Bay, and waved at Jay cheerily, before noticing the tension, and made the wise decision of turning tail and fleeing.

_Lucky guy._ Jay watched H beat a hasty retreat, and wished that she could do the same.

"_Agent Jay, please report to the Med-Bay, lickety split."_ Zeeltor's voice floated over the P.A. system.

"Oh, gotta go!" Jay announced sunnily, and made a dash for the Med-Bay. At the doors, she skidded to a stop. "Uh…try not to kill each other." Then she disappeared into the Med-Bay.

The two men glanced at each other, and A started setting up the chess board again. "I don't suppose you'd fancy a game?"

#MIB#

"Hm. Not bad." Zeeltor put the small flashlight away. "Your eyes are healing nicely."

"That's a relief." Jay grinned.

"Now," Zeeltor reappeared with a syringe, "time for your vaccination."

Jay's eyes widened at the sight of the needle and gulped audibly.

"Oh, relax," Zeeltor waved off her nervousness, "it'll be as painless as being run over by an Gel."

"Okay, that's good-" Jay broke off when Zeeltor jabbed the needle in sharply, "YEOW!"

"Hm. Make that a Gel with sharp teeth." Zeeltor chuckled to himself.

Jay prodded her arm tentatively. "Gee, thanks doc." She muttered flatly.

#MIB#

Every move was calculated, then imagined, then promptly dismissed as the worst move of the century. The two chess players stared intently at the board, each determined to not lose to the other.

It was a delicate balance – one misdirected piece and the game would be over, yet the perfectly placed piece could ensure victory.

Seconds ticked by, and finally, the older man made a move.

Kay's frown deepened.

_Idiots._ Elle shook her head at the agents from M onwards spying not-so-discretely on the two agents playing chess. Quite personally, she preferred checkers.

…

"They're watching us." A noted quietly to his chess partner.

"Uh-huh." Kay muttered absentmindedly, still focused on the black and white board.

"No, really, they are."

Kay glanced up, and caught the thirteen curious looks of the agents, who all quickly looked away, and pretended they were not staring just seconds before. Elle, who had her nose buried in the hotsheets, looked up at the commotion and caught Kay's gaze.

_Ignoramuses._ She mouthed to Kay.

_Yes, they are._ His expression was clear enough.

Elle hid a smile, and disappeared behind the hotsheets again.

Kay was halfway into deciding to move his king when a prickling feeling alerted him to the fact that he was being watched yet again. He did not bother to hide the exasperated sigh. Out of the corner of his eyes, he spotted the blatant stares from the other agents. Obviously, they were still trying to comprehend the fact that Kay hadn't killed Alpha yet, and vice versa.

At the end of the hallway, the Med-Bay door finally opened, and Jay slipped out, a look of relief on her face that she had the check-up done and out of her way. _For six months, that is._

"Oh, you didn't kill each other. That's good." Jay's voice echoed in the deathly quiet hallway. "Uh… am I interrupting something?"

"Oh, not at all, Jay-" A began.

"_Agent Kay, please report to the Med-Bay."_

"-Kay and I were just finishing." A finished, and looked up at Kay. "Shall we consider this match a draw?"

Kay looked at the chess board, then caught the expectant gazes of all the other watching agents. "Yes."

#MIB#

"I really shouldn't." Elle mused as she looked at it.

"It's not going to hurt." Jay argued in defence. "You're a field agent now. This shouldn't hurt."

"But still." Elle shifted her lunch tray slightly as she pondered the risks of taking a slice of chocolate cake.

"Oh, live a little, Elle." Jay rolled her eyes as she gave both Elle and herself a slice. "You'll work it off in two days anyway."

"Fine." Elle conceded with a huff as the two women left the cafeteria behind them and found a table. "But if I end up baggy and fat when I'm eighty years old, I'm blaming you."

"What makes you think you'll remember me?" Jay teased.

"Jerk." Elle muttered, unable to hide the smile.

"Besides," Jay attacked her salad with a fork, "at the rate you're going, there's no way you'd end up a saggy pile of wrinkles."

"Thank you," Elle drawled sarcastically, "for that lovely image."

"Anytime." Jay grinned.

Before Jay could delve any further into her lunch, an alarm blared, and both women sighed.

"Duty calls." Elle shared a slightly resigned look with Jay.

"Look at it this way," Jay remarked to Elle as the two rushed towards the Hub, "now you won't have to eat that chocolate cake."

"What's the sitch, Zed?" Jay mimicked a certain red-headed cheerleader.

"Knock it off, Junior." Zed gave Jay an annoyed look. "We have a downed space station."

Jay looked at the image the Twins had brought up on the oval screen. "In Antarctica?"

"It would appear that way, yes." Zed handed Jay a file. "Astronaut Arkady Vetrov reported being attacked by an amorphic entity that locked him in the outer chamber before jettisoning to earth."

"Come again?" Jay blinked.

"He means," Elle translated, "the space man was attacked by a blob-"

"Yeah, I got that part," Jay wasn't sure if she should have been offended or not, as she was almost certain that Elle was being sarcastic, "I mean why _Antarctica_? Place's freezing."

"Better dress warmly then, kid." Zed drawled, brushing aside the twinge of panic as he reminded himself exactly what lay below the ice in Antarctica. "I'm sending you and Kay on a field trip."

As Zed walked away, he heard Elle sniggering over Jay's protest of "But I catch a cold by just walking down the frozen food aisle!"

#MIB#

Jack Jeebs was not the brightest of people/aliens.

But, he had been in the pawnshop business for many, many years, and if there was anything important that he had learnt, it was to never underestimate a potential customer, and to always expect the unexpected.

Hence, he wasn't surprised when _dear_ Dak called him, joined to Serleena like a pair of Siamese Twins gone wrong. If he wasn't mistaken, he could've sworn that Dak's head was coming out of Serleena's armpit.

"Alkmanian Mark Three Heat Ray?" Jack Jeebs grinned. "Sure thing. But delivery's gonna cost you extra."

A green tentacle whipped Dak's face away from the screen, and the screen was filled with Serleena's scowling visage. "_Whatever, Jeebs. Take it up with the boss, but don't forget to deliver the canister._"

"Your boss?" Jack Jeebs frowned. "Canister? What canister?"

In answer to his question, a small, metallic canister clattered onto the bench top, and Jeebs let out an unmanly shriek of fear at the trench coated figure who had managed to sneak into his shop.

"_That canister._" Serleena answered smugly. "_See you later, Jeebs._"

The communicator turned off with a click, but Jeebs hardly noticed. He was too busy staring at the trench-coated figure.

"You know, this is getting old really quickly." Jeebs said to his customer as he picked up the canister and eyed it. "The last time I had a guy wearing a trench coat in my shop, Jay nearly died." He mused more to himself than to the customer. There was something familiar about the canister…

Wordlessly, the figure inclined its head, and left the pawnshop, sneer set in its face. _This time, I'll make sure she __**doesn't**__ survive._

As the bell chimed to signify the customer's departure, Jeebs realised what was familiar about the canister.

"Hey, this looks like one of those MiB lab canisters…"

…

"So, what's the canister for?" Dak questioned Serleena as she finished the call.

"It's a serum designed to target the Ignisian physiology." Serleena explained.

Dak looked blankly at her.

"Meaning it'll kill Agent Jay if we use enough on her, you cabbage head." Serleena started rerouting the electrical sensor of the shuttle.

"Oh." Dak realised.

" 'Oh' indeed." Serleena smirked. "I told you, revenge is a dish best served cold."

#MIB#

"We're almost at the drop-off point." X gazed over the electronics set into the jet's consol. "Better check if those two are ready, Little Ears."

Elle nodded, and flicked on the communicator. The screen lit up to show the interior of the LTD, and Elle was in time to catch Kay rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Kay? Is Jay awake?"

Kay glanced to somewhere out of the screen and Elle watched as his eyes softened. "_No. But she will be._"

"Good." Elle smiled slightly. "We'll be at the drop-off point any second now, so when the ramp goes down, feel free to land."

"We're here." X took his eyes off the windscreen for a second. "Lower the ramp."

Elle nodded, and turned back to Kay. "Good luck, Kay." She could've sworn that Kay smiled before clicking off the communicator.

"Return your seat back to its upright position, Slick." Kay gently shook Jay's shoulder.

Jay stretched and yawned. "Are we-" -yawn- "-landing?"

"In a manner of speaking."

Jay's head whipped around to stare at Kay and blamed her half asleep state in only forming a confused "Huh?" as opposed to a fully formed "What do you mean?"

Jay got her answer when Kay nonchalantly pressed the red button, and the LTD zoomed out of the jet.

The Worms could hear Jay's scream all the way from the boot.


	15. Cold Sweat

**Cold Sweat**

It had been a long time since Kay had known what 'cold' felt like. It had been an even longer time since Kay had thrown a snowball just for the sake of throwing one for fun, not to mention go sledging without an irate person of some sort on his tail.

Of course, that had all been a long time ago, and he had since learnt how to lower his metabolic rate until the cold was nothing more than a slight bother-

"I am _not_ cold."

Unfortunately, the same could not be said for Jay.

"I am _not_ cold."

Kay was torn between pity and amusement as Jay tried and failed to assert herself that her breath was not coming out in icy clouds.

"Screw this." Jay finally gave up her endeavour. "I'm _freezing_. Thought all the fancy Ignisian genes were supposed to keep me warm."

Kay risked a glance behind him, and fought back a snort – for Jay was huddled miserably, hood pulled firmly over her head. "Actually," he informed her matter-of-factly, "your part alien genes only made you immune to heat. Not cold."

"Great. So I'm literally not built for this weather." She grumbled, shaking snow out of her hood and pulling it up again.

Kay said nothing in return, and merely leaned down to scoop up a snowball. When he tossed the snowball into the shuttle rather pointedly, Jay looked at him questioningly, but before she could say anything, the shuttle erupted in a field of electricity that died down eventually.

"Did…did you know that it'd happen?" Jay looked between the shuttle and Kay in surprise.

"No," Kay answered as the two clambered into the now docile shuttle, "but I had my suspicions."

The door sealed shut behind the two, and Jay flinched in surprise.

"Did you know that would happen?" Jay started back towards the door, already going through scenarios in her head on how to open a door designed to survive the heat of re-entry.

"Actually, no." Kay admitted, as the shuttle suddenly powered up. "I didn't see that coming."

…

"Show's over." Kay blasted out the camera, and Serleena was denied a front seat view.

Grunting, Jay tried to stagger across the shuttle to the hatch. "Since when was she a tech whizz, anyway?"

"She isn't." Kay answered as he pulled out the rubber dingy from the wall compartment. "Dak Jeebs is."

"You saying Tweedle-Ugly of the Jeebs is with her?" Jay finally made it to the hatch.

"Yes." Kay held the compacted dingy in his hands. "Open the door."

"What? Now?" Jay looked incredulously at Kay, before her gaze lowered to the object in his hands. "That's not even a parachute."

"Jay!"

"Alright, alright!" Jay blasted out the hatch doors. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"Just-" Kay broke off as he stopped his speedy exit by jamming his feet against the doorway. "Just trust me! Take the other end!"

The moment Jay grabbed onto the end of the dingy, Kay pulled his feet back, and the two agents slid out of the now descending shuttle.

#MIB#

Snow, in a way, was like sand. It was nice to look at, especially if it was clean. From a distance, it could be admired as a majestic substance of the natural world. At least, until one got up close and personal with it.

Sand was scratchy, and often got to places one rather wished it didn't.

Snow was _flippin'_ freezing, and Jay wished it didn't exist at all.

Pulling herself out of the snow drift Kay had the sensibility of aiming for when they landed, Jay spat out a mouthful of the stuff. Even though she hated both sand and snow, she preferred sand. "Why couldn't Serleena had made her comeback in Miami Beach?"

Wordlessly, Kay helped Jay up, and didn't even flinch when the shuttle crashed down on the revamped LTD. Jay kept the comment about the dents to herself.

"You know, I've been thinking." Jay started talking to Kay as the two salvaged what remained from the LTD wreckage. "So, Serleena's crashed in Antarctica. But there's no way off for her, and even if she sticks with Dak, there's no way she'll survive the cold temperatures."

Kay raised an eyebrow, signalling for her to continue.

"So why don't we just leave the suckers to freeze?"

"Ever heard of Teraxus?" Kay countered.

"Tyrano-what?" Jay asked as she helped Kay pull out a tarp from the boot of the LTD.

"Teraxus." Kay corrected her. "It's an alien bio-ship that crashed down here some forty years ago-"

"Why'd MiB just leave an alien spaceship lying around?"

"This place isn't exactly high on the tourist list, Slick."

"Point taken."

…

"Oh, look, there's Tweedledee." Jay pointed at the younger Jeebs.

Kay snorted, before he and Jay stood up in unison, both drawing their respective weapons.

"Step away from the Alkmanian Mark III Heat Ray."

Jay shot Kay a curious glance. _Elk-what?_

Kay gave a subtle shake of his head. _Later._

"I'm holding you to that." Jay muttered out of the side of her mouth.

"Ah, Kay, Jay, good to see you." Serleena smiled up at the two MiB agents.

" 'fraid I can't say the same for you." Jay paused when she caught sight of Dak. "Is… is he growing out of your _armpit_?"

Letting out a snarl of uncontained fury, Serleena ran at the two, only to be stopped by a barrage of blaster bolts.

"You really _shouldn't_ provoke her, Ace." Kay advised wisely.

"Uh, why don't we worry about that later, 'cause I don't think those shots did any good." Jay was watching the Kylothian reform from a familiar green goo. "Oh, this can't be good."

Serleena finally reformed with a gasp, and she managed a grin at the immortal growing out of her armpit, as Jay had so eloquently pointed out. "Perhaps there are advantages to this partnership after all."

Then, she extended a tentacle at the Alkmanian Mark III Heat Ray and flicked the switch.

Kay readily agreed that Jay was right, and that it was _Not good at all._

…

Kay blinked hazily, and vaguely registered the fact that he was no longer underwater, but was above it, and that he could breathe, before the air was knocked out of him by a certain dark haired woman.

It took him another second to realise that he wasn't being attacked, but merely being hugged to death by his worried partner.

"You're lucky I wasn't hibernating, Kay." The large polar bear told him sombrely. "Otherwise you'd be a deep-frozen human by now."

"You know him?" Jay asked, finally releasing her hold on Kay.

"Yeah," the polar bear nodded, "Kay sprung me from Circus on Ice. If I had to juggle another penguin, I would've gone postal. Stay cool, man."

After shaking Kay's hand, the Obviously-Not-A-Normal-Polar-Bear lumbered away.

"Well, there's something you don't see every day." Jay commented lightly, before pulling off her gloves and pressing her warm fingertips against Kay's face.

"Jay?" Kay's eyes flickered to her fingers, before back to her eyes. "What are you-?"

"Hush." Jay shushed him quickly. "I need to concentrate."

_On what?_ Kay wondered, and got his answer a few seconds later when a tingling warmth spread from Jay's fingertips to the rest of his body.

"There." Jay sounded satisfied as she pulled on her gloves again. "Just something I picked up from Ignisia. I wasn't sure if it would work on a human."

"Thank you."

"No biggie." Jay rolled back on her haunches, and stood up again. "Now what?"

"Where did Dak and Serleena go?" Kay questioned as he stood up, still trying to get used to the warmth.

Wordlessly, Jay turned Kay around, and he bit back a groan.

"You must have nine lives, Kay." Serleena's voice issued from the rubbery mess of the underbelly of Teraxus. "But even you won't be able to stop me."

As the laser canon fired towards the icy ground, Jay flinched, before realising that Serleena's aim was very off. "She's a lousy shot."

"She's not aiming for us." Kay nodded at the melting ice before them. "Once the laser canon reaches full power, it'll take her less than a minute to melt the ice-caps-"

"-and flood half the world." Jay finished in realisation. "What are we supposed to do about that? Kay?"

Kay turned around long enough to say "Keep them busy, Slick." before continuing to head towards the tarp-covered equipment.

And thus, Jay was very much alone when she muttered "Just how am I supposed to do that?"

Pulling faces at the ship was out of the question – Jay doubted that Serleena was really _that_ bad with her aim, and she also doubted that she'd be able to run fast enough.

Of course, Jay knew she could always lob fireballs at the mammoth ship, but it would result in the same chaos as her first plan.

_Solution? Get off the ground, Edwards._

Jay glanced up at the ship again, and estimated that if she tried hard enough, she may be able to reach it.

_Why not? It's not like I have another plan._ Without further ado, Jay launched herself into the sky, oxygen billowing behind her. Instead of the rubbery substance Jay expected to land on, the top of Teraxus was sleek and black, almost like obsidian stone.

Jay let out a sigh of relief – she wasn't too keen on stepping into a pile of rubbery stuff, especially as her imagination had a tendency of running wild.

…

Serleena's gaze flicked to the ceiling of the cockpit of Teraxus. "We've got ourselves a hitchhiker. Go make yourself helpful, Dak."

"Yeah, well," the immortal head sniped, "in case you haven't noticed, I'm on a rather short leash right now. As much as I'd love to go and get some payback…" he trailed off into mumbled threats, the majority of which concerned Jay.

Without warning, a tendril materialised from the floor of the cockpit, curled itself around Dak's neck and pulled.

"Ow!" The stump of Dak's neck started forming back into his body. "Ooh, that stings!"

"Go make yourself useful, Dak." Serleena repeated, and tossed the canister that Jack Jeebs had brought at him. "Make sure Jay gets a healthy dose of this."

Dak caught the canister with his newly formed hands. "How am I supposed to get it inside her? I don't think she'll swallow it willingly."

"Hm. No," Serleena agreed, "she wouldn't. Take this." she handed him a hypodermic needle.

As Dak got onto the bio-elevator brought on by Serleena, she gave him one last order.

"Oh, and by the way, Dak? The boss says make sure Jay suffers."

"It'll be my pleasure."

…

"Oi! I've got a score to settle with you, Agent Jay!"

Jay whirled around, temporarily giving up her search for a way inside, and smirked at the newcomer. "Back for round two, Ugly?"

"What did you just call me?" Dak demanded in a snarl as he ran across the top of Teraxus, fist drawn back for a punch.

"Oh dear," Jay smiled sweetly, "is your hearing going too?"

As Dak's fist swung forwards, Jay stepped sideways…and right into a spongy wall that had erupted in the time it took for Dak to throw his punch.

Fighting back the urge to screech in surprise, Jay instead only had time to throw her arms up to block the blow. Grimacing, Jay kicked out at Dak's legs, and sent him staggering backwards. She rubbed her now sore forearms as she watched Dak carefully. After she determined that he wasn't going to get up just yet, Jay looked to her side, and found that the wall was gone.

_What…? How?_ Then she face-palmed herself. _It's a bio-ship, Edwards. That means Serleena can probably change it at a single thought._

"Two against one, hardly fair." Jay narrowed her eyes as Dak got up again.

"Do I look honourable to you?" Dak retorted as he rushed at her again, this time, armed with a needle.

"No, not reall-" Jay broke off with a gasp of pain as her punch was blocked by yet another wall of bio-ship. The only difference was that this wall wasn't spongy.

It was as hard as a _fricking _rock.

"F*ck!" Jay swore, cradling her hand, and barely had time to jerk her foot up in a kick that sent the needle spinning out of Dak's hand. As Dak rushed off to retrieve the needle, something curled around Jay's ankle, and jerked her feet out from underneath her. Letting out a squeak of surprise, Jay was even less prepared for another thick tendril to wrap around her middle, and pull her against the top of the bio-ship.

"Argh! Let me go!" Even as Jay spoke, she could see Dak coming closer. Jay gulped as she caught sight of the needle again. Her instincts told her that whatever was in it, it was probably intended to cause as much pain as possible. Willing herself to not panic, Jay placed her good hand over the tendril holding her down, and burned it.

The tendril shuddered before letting go, and Jay was up in record time. Unfortunately, it wasn't fast enough. Dak swiped the needle at Jay, and she wasn't able to duck away fast enough to escape unscathed.

"Ow!" Jay pressed her hand against her cheek, where the needle had broken her skin in an angry, red scratch. She lobbed a fireball at Dak in response, who let out a yelp of fear before he was knocked off the bio-ship. "Good riddance." Jay muttered darkly, before a pounding headache struck without warning, along with a healthy dose of wooziness.

The ground underneath Jay seemed to be tilting in all directions, and she wasn't entirely sure whether or not it was real.

However, when Jay heard Serleena cry out "Get out of my bio-ship!", along with a few familiar screams from a few certain Night Crawlers, she knew it wasn't her imagination when the whole ship turned sharply on its side, and Jay followed in the same direction Dak had gone.

Down, down, down.

#MIB#

Jay was rather sick of snow. There was snow in her hair, there was snow in her face, there was snow in her mouth, and there was snow down her _frickin' _shirt.

Spluttering, Jay pulled herself out of the snowdrift that had broken her fall, before collapsing on the ice in an ungraceful heap. To make matters worse, the headache hadn't gone away, and neither had the dizziness.

"You know, when I said keep them busy," a pair of hands tugged her up into a sitting position, "I did not mean for you to nearly kill yourself."

Blearily, Jay looked up at Kay, before looking behind him to stare at the downed Teraxus. "Woah. What did I miss?"

"Not much." Kay cupped Jay's face in his hands, already checking for injuries. _No concussion. But…_ "What happened to your face?"

"Dak attacked me with a needle. I think there was something inside it." Jay muttered sluggishly.

"How do you feel?" Kay asked as he moved his hands down her shoulders.

"Could be worse." Jay's head lolled dangerously to the side.

Kay frowned. "That's not answering the question."

"Kay!" A female voice of pure fury interrupted the two. "I've got a bone to pick with you!"

"Hell hath no fury." Jay muttered, her world tilting dangerously, before she slumped backwards.

"Be back in a second." Kay murmured, lowering Jay into the snow slowly.

…

"Kay, I can walk."

"No, you can't." Neeble argued. "Last time you did that, you went for a nosedive."

"You're outvoted, Slick." Kay adjusted his grip, somewhat grateful for the unexpected company the Worms provided. He had gone past the point of wondering _how_ they managed to get to Antarctica, and had simply settled for the fact that they _were_ in Antarctica, and were stuck with them in Antarctica for the next hour or so.

"…I…" Jay said hesitatingly.

"Problem?" Kay glanced at the woman cradled in his arms.

"-you kicked her." Jay finally voiced what had been bothering her for the past two minutes. "You kicked her."

"Now's not the time," Kay rolled his eyes, "to be worried about chivalry-"

"T-that's not what I meant." Jay stammered quickly. "I mean, all it took to knock her off was a _kick._ We should've done that sooner."

"The ground was icy." Kay protested blandly. "She slipped over as soon as I attacked her."

Jay chuckled, and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Just how hard did you kick her, anyway?"

Kay spared Jay a glance, and frowned as he saw the cut across her cheek again. "Not hard enough."

Jay suddenly shivered in Kay's arms.

"Jay?" Kay stopped walking again to look at Jay in concern.

"It's nothing." Jay brushed off his worry. "I'm fine, just a bit cold. Besides, aren't subzero temperatures bad for those guys?"

One of the Worms sneezed, as if to demonstrate Jay's point.

"How'd they get here anyway?" Jay added as an afterthought, her mind swimming woozily as she tried to warm herself up with fire, to no avail.

"No idea." Kay's voice sounded very far away.

…

It was warm.

That in itself was odd, as the last thing Jay remembered was the endless horizon of ice and the steady pace Kay kept to reach the hull of the LTD, with the four Worms in tow.

"We're in the LTD?" Jay wondered aloud as she looked around the dented interior of the vehicle, a faint blush rising to her cheeks when she realised that she was snuggled against Kay, who, in turn, had his arms locked around Jay.

_That explains the warmth._

"I sent out a distress signal about half an hour ago," Kay explained as he loosened his grip slightly, "and Elle and X picked it up. They should be here soon."

"Oh." Jay said numbly. "That's good."

At her tone of voice, Kay gently hooked a finger under Jay's chin, and studied her carefully. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Fine." Jay's head gave another throb when she tried to reach for Fyre to warm herself. "Okay, maybe not."

"Dizziness?" Kay asked.

In answer, Jay let out a groan and closed her eyes.

Kay frowned, searching for a pattern to Jay's random sickness. _She's cold_. _She can't warm herself._

And then it clicked. Jay, being the stubborn woman she was, would never admit if anything was wrong and would try her best to help herself, rather than ask for help. Which probably meant that she had been trying to warm herself the whole time, and if Kay hadn't missed his mark, with her fire abilities.

If Kay remembered correctly, Zeeltor had made several batches of Compound Blue, with the final, diluted batch being the ones the MiB agents had installed in the city walls of Ignisia.

_Shoot. _Kay's stomach lurched. _What happened to the first batch?_

"Jay-" -Jay's eyes flew open at Kay's voice- "-if you're still trying to use your fire-powers, stop."

Jay blinked at the sharpness in Kay's tone. "Uh, why?"

"The cut on your cheek," Kay's blue eyes flicked to the cut and back to Jay's eyes again, "you said Dak attacked you with a needle?"

"Mm-hm."

"Did you see what was in the needle?" Kay pressed.

"No." Jay admitted. "I was a bit preoccupied with Serleena's landscaping. Why?"

Kay paused, pondering his choices. If he told Jay now, chances were, she would freak out.

_Or she might be a lot more sensible than you remember._ His subconscious whispered, sounding a lot like Aileen.

"I think you may have been infected with Compound Blue."

There was a short pause as Jay took in the new information.

Then, "Well, f*ck."


	16. Advice

**Advice**

"Well," Zeeltor announced cheerily, "I _do_ have bad news, if that is what you are wondering."

"Oh, please." Jay muttered drolly. "Spare me the suspense. Tell me."

"The bad news is," Zeeltor was ever oblivious to the downright sarcasm Jay displayed, "you are infected."

"Is there good news?" Jay asked wearily, almost fearing the answer.

"Oh, there is." Zeeltor smiled. "You see, I have managed to isolate the chemical affecting you."

"And?" Jay prompted.

"It was my first prototype of Compound Blue." Zeeltor explained. "I scrapped the idea after it became apparent that the chemical would instantly kill the Ignisian in question, as the whole point of Compound Blue was to temporarily paralyse, not kill."

"So, how come I'm not dead?" Jay shuddered at the idea.

"Well, I can think of two reasons." Zeeltor counted the reasons off his fingers. "One, you're half human. Two, you only have a minimal amount of Compound Blue in your system."

Subconsciously, Jay's fingers flew up to her cheek, but her fingers met smooth skin. "Not that I'm complaining, but shouldn't there be a scar?"

"Oh, no." Zeeltor shook his head happily. "Your Ignisian healing abilities kicked in. There's no scar. But there is one slight problem."

"What?" Jay asked.

Zeeltor lost the cheery demeanour, and suddenly became serious. "You can't use your firepowers ever again, Agent Jay."

"But-"

"No, listen to me." Zeeltor cut off Jay's protests. "Even though you have a minimal amount of the chemical in your body, and even though it may be currently dormant due to your human genes, there's no telling what'll do to you, if you do access your Ignisian side. Are we clear?"

Jay gulped, having never seen this serious side to Zeeltor. "Okay, okay, crystal clear. Calm down, man. I've never seen you like this."

"Well," the usually good-natured doctor shot back, "you've never come this close to death before, not on my watch."

Jay blinked, stunned. _So, the crazy guy cares after all._

As Zeeltor bustled around the Med-Bay after that particular revelation, Jay jumped off the stretcher and left the Med-Bay behind, after saying a slightly choked up "See you later, doc."

#MIB#

"You're reading up on Zeeltor?" Eye asked curiously as she sat next to Jay in the computer lab. "I thought you knew the guy."

"Hm." Jay's eyes didn't leave the screen.

"Jay. Jay. Jay." Eye poked the field agent's shoulder with every syllable.

"What?" Jay finally looked away from the screen irritably.

"Why are you reading Zeeltor's file?" The blonde repeated.

"No reason." Jay closed the file with a click of a mouse. "I was just curious about his past."

The blonde agent's eyes grew wide. "You don't think he's behind the hangar bombing, do you?"

"What?" Jay shook her head. "Of course not."

"Oh." Eye looked slightly crestfallen. "I don't suppose you have any other leads?"

"Nope." _None that I'm going to share with you._ Jay stood up with a yawn and stretched. "I gotta go."

"Go where?" Eye looked at Jay as she pushed the chair under the desk and made her way to the door of the computer lab.

"To the gym." Jay answered. "I've gotta stay fit. Can't rely on my firepowers anymore."

…

Jay's feet thumped steadily down on the treadmill, her mind whirring like the machine below her. Even though Eye was annoying, she had made a point.

Zeeltor had created the original Compound Blue. Of course, that alone was not enough to fuel Jay's suspicions, but a previous assessment done by the Worms was not helping. The good doctor had a lot of time on his hands, that much was a given, and who knew exactly what he was up to during the day.

_Get a grip on yourself, Edwards! He's not evil. He cares, remember?_

"-Jay?" A considered waving his hand in front of Jay's face, before he realised that her eyes had drifted to him, instead of the faraway gaze in her eyes.

"A?" Jay grinned, though it lacked her usual bluster. "Whassap, man?"

A looked pointedly at the treadmill. "The electricity bill, if you keep running at that speed."

Jay smiled sheepishly, and jumped off the treadmill, before turning it off. "Sorry. I was thinking."

"A dangerous pastime-"

"I know."_*****_ Jay sat down at one of the benches, hugged her legs to her chest and dropped her head on her knees. Then, she lifted her head. "Say, aren't you supposed to be under constant guard?"

"Maybe. You're watching me, aren't you?" A nudged the younger agent, sensing her distress.

"I have a feeling my word's not good enough for Zed." Jay sighed, her voice deep with melancholy.

"Well," A gave Jay a small smile, "then I guess it's a good thing that Kay's just outside then, isn't it?"

"He is?" Jay glanced towards the door, even though she knew she couldn't sense him without her fire powers anymore. "How is he?"

"Well enough." A smiled softly at Jay. "Just slightly worried about you, of course."

"Slightly?"

"Make that very." A smirked. "You'd be able to tell as well. Now, in the words of a certain someone, Kay is emotionally constipated-"

-Jay had the good grace to look guilty-

"-and he is quite dismal at heart-to-hearts."

"What, and you're not?" Jay couldn't resist.

"Don't interrupt." A continued. "So, I've been coerced into talking to you."

"I- Really?" Jay was impressed. "You two are actually teaming up."

"We have a mutual… goal in mind." A admitted. "So, talk to me. What's bothering you?"

"I… I can't feel anything. Half of me has been cut off." Jay sighed. "It's like losing an arm. I've never really thought about how much I've been relying on my fire powers."

"Then go back to the way you were." A said simply. "Go back to being Agent Jay, and forget about Cha'ra."

"I'm trying." Jay insisted. "But I can't. I just feel so… disabled. I just need time to adjust."

"True." A nodded. "It's only been what, a few days?"

"Two days." Jay muttered. "One for me to recover from the cold, and another one for me to stop trying to use my fire powers."

The two were silent for a moment, before A spoke again. "This isn't really what's bothering you, is it?"

"No, it's not." Jay admitted. "It's actually about the hangar."

"Still trying to find the culprit?" A asked. "That's nearly three weeks ago."

"I know, I know." Jay muttered. "But that doesn't change the fact that there was an intruder in MiB."

"True." A acknowledged. "So, what are you going to do?"

"Dunno." Jay shrugged. "Keep looking for clues, I guess. Pull a Private-Eye, or a Scooby-Doo."

"Good. As long as we see more of the old Jay around."

"We?" Jay looked up as A got up to leave.

"Yes. We." A emphasised. "I'm counting on you to cheer up, Jay."

Jay continued to look blankly at A as he pulled the gym door open.

"Kay and I both want the cheerful Jay back."

#MIB#

"Jay? Jay! I need your help."

"Frank?" Jay looked down at the pug. "Help? From me?"

Frank rubbed one ear sheepishly. "Yes. I need your help."

Jay regarded Frank carefully. "Is… is it illegal?"

"What? Of course not!" Frank spluttered. "It's not like that at all."

Jay crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. "Yeah? Then how come you're so fidgety?"

Frank glanced around to check that the hallway was empty, and beckoned for Jay to come closer. Jay leaned down warily.

Frank cast one last look around, and finally whispered. "I need your advice on dating."

Frank watched as an incredulous look spread over Jay's face, mixed with shock and another emotion.

Then Jay promptly burst out laughing. "You? Asking me about-" –snort- "-advice on _dating_?" She dissolved into a fit of giggles. "Oh, this is too much!"

Jay took a deep breath, and forced back another barrage of giggles. "Sorry, Frank. I don't think I'll be much help."

"Jay!" Frank whined. "Come one! You're the only person in this organisation that's normal enough to know normality. You've got to know something! Come on, look, I'm even begging!"

"Okay, okay," Jay fought to keep a grin off her face, "I'll help you. But I can't make any promises. And if it works out, you owe me big time, okay?"

"I'll be in your debt, Jay." Frank let out a subtle sigh of relief.

Jay smirked. "Let your training begin, young grasshopper."

…

"Okay," Jay went over their list again, "so, don't drool, do _not_ spend the whole night talking about yourself, act like a dog only when you're around humans…" Jay paused, and wondered if there was anything else that needed to be said. "Oh, and dinner table manners are a must."

"Thanks, Jay." Frank took the list from Jay as she finished scribbling the last item – _Dinner Table Manners_ – on the list. "But there's still one last thing."

"What?" Jay asked.

"The GNK."

"The what?" Jay pulled a face at the odd acronym.

"The good night kiss." Frank clarified.

"Woah, no!" Jay stood up from the cafeteria table. "That's where I draw the line. I am _not_ telling you anything about that!"

"Jay, please." Frank sent a pair of puppy-dog eyes at her.

Jay crumbled under the power of the puppy-dog pout. "Fine. Just pucker up and kiss. But don't force it, or else she'll hate you."

"There's just one slight problem, Jay." Frank told her sadly. "Diane's an Alcidian."

"Alcidian?" Jay repeated blankly. "What are those?"

Frank sighed. "Are you up for a field trip?"

#MIB#

"You're dating an Alcidian?!" Jay whispered to Frank when she finally remembered what Alcidians were. "In case you haven't noticed, you're not equipped for this kind of relationship-"

Frank looked at her in disgust.

"-get your mind out of the gutter, Frank." Jay muttered flatly. "I wasn't talking about _that_ kind of equipped. I was talking about their hand thingies. You won't be able to link with Diane."

"Yes," Frank hissed back as the two entered the shop run by the Alcidians, "that's why we're dating. Not married. I want to see how things work out first."

"Try not to break her heart." Jay said to Frank, before stopping short at the sight of Kay. "Kay? What are you doing here?"

"Investigating for a case, Slick." Kay was seated amidst a group of Alcidians – or at least, Jay assumed so. "I could ask you the same thing."

"I'm helping Frank." Jay explained as she strode over to the booth. "He needed a ride across town. What's the case about?"

"Forbus." One of Alcidians spoke up. "We think he's going crazy."

"What makes you say that?"

"I tried to take a photo of him, and look what he did to me." To demonstrate, the Alcidian revealed a large cut trailing down his neck.

Jay winced.

"Oh, don't worry." The Alcidian waved off her concern. "It's just the human suit."

Kay took the offered photo from the Alcidian. "How long has he been like this?"

"Forbsie was always a paranoid guy," another Alcidian joined the group at the booth, followed by a familiar pug, "but he started freaking out about cameras a few weeks ago."

Jay glanced at Frank, who mouthed _Diane_ at her. "Uh, so," Jay looked away from Frank and at Diane, "why is he freaking out about cameras again?"

"I don't know." Diane shrugged. "But he did say something about cameras stealing his soul, or some other shiz like that. Personally, I think he's nuts." She stated bluntly, oblivious to the winces of the other Alcidians.

Jay looked at Frank. _Dude, I approve of her._  
_Why thank you._ Frank did a little bow from behind Diane.

…

"He could be anywhere, Kay." Jay spoke over the commlink as she directed the motorbike down another street.

"_Then you'd better keep your eyes peeled, Slick._"

Jay's laugh was muffled by the helmet. Only Kay would be so direct.

"_Speaking of which, I thought you weren't supposed to be back on the field until tomorrow._"

"I told you," Jay pulled up next to Jeeb's pawnshop, "Frank needed a lift to get to his girlfriend-"

"_The Alcidian?_"

"Yup. That one." Jay disembarked the bike. "And I happened to be available to offer him a ride."

"_Oh._"

"I gotta go, Kay." Jay tugged off the helmet. "Talk to you later."

"_Why? What are you doing?_"

"I'm following up on a lead, Kay. I have a few questions for Jeebs-"

"_Don't bother._" Kay answered her gruffly. "_I already took the liberty of asking Jeebs-_"

"Asking?" Jay repeated, walking back to the motorbike.

"…_aggressively._"

Jay could almost see Kay rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Kay."

"_But by the end, I doubt he was lying-_"

"Kay."

"_-and I may have splattered him a few times._" Kay finished quickly.

"Kay, thank you." Jay smiled –contrary to popular belief, Kay was capable of being 'sweet'. _Just in his own way._ "So, what did you find? Who gave Jeebs the serum?"

"_He couldn't tell._" Kay sounded disgusted with his own answer. "_The delivery man didn't say anything, and was…_"

"Dressed in a trench coat?" Jay supplied wryly.

"_Yep._"

* * *

_***"LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking-"  
"A dangerous pastime-"  
"I know."  
From Disney's Beauty and the Beast.**_


	17. The Psychic Vampire

**The Psychic Vampire**

"I'm guessing our perp's from Transylvania?"

"Jay," Elle rolled her eyes, "don't be an idiot."

"Hey, he's got puncture wounds in his neck." Jay eyed the not-quite-a-cadaver nervously. "What am I supposed to think?"

"First of all," Elle explained with a touch of impatience, "the puncture wounds are nowhere near the jugulars. Secondly, although vampires are real, they don't actually drink blood. Not alien ones, anyway."

"Pfft." Jay snorted derisively. "Next thing I know, you'll be telling me zombies don't eat brains-"

"Actually, they don't." Elle cut in.

"How would you know-?" Jay broke off. "Oh. Last year's Halloween Night?"

"Yes." Elle muttered darkly.

"I heard Bob say it was a night to remember-"

"Don't ask." Elle answered brusquely. "Trust me on this one, Edwards; _don't_ ask."

"Um, okay." Jay looked mildly alarmed at Elle's use of her last name.

"What do we have, Elle?" Kay asked as he climbed in the back of the van.

"Mild case of human desication." Elle answered, ignoring Jay's squawk of "You call that _mild_?!"

"Anything of interest found on him?" Kay asked, unruffled by the beef jerky-like appearance of the camera-wielding tourist.

"Interest? No." Jay held up a taxi business card. "Incriminating evidence? Yes."

Kay raised an eyebrow when he saw what was written on the card.

_LONE WOLF TRANSPORT  
Service guaranteed to be out of this world!_

"Indeed." Kay agreed.

…

"Yo, Forbus! Hold it!"

Jay and Kay watched as the Alcidian took one look at the two, and ran. Jay sighed. "Ugh. They never listen. When will I learn?"

"It took me a while." Kay admitted as the two gave chase.

"Well, then, o old and wise one," Jay smirked as the chase led them down an alleyway, "what's the plan?"

"Keep going. I'll cut him off at the end." Kay instructed before diving into another alleyway.

"Great." Jay muttered as she dashed after Forbus again. "Good thing he's a slow runner."

In fact, Forbus was so slow, that Jay managed to crash tackle the alien just at the mouth of the alleyway.

"You have the right to stay still and keep your fangs to yourself, or else I'll personally punch them out."

Forbus growled – a low, animalistic grow – and promptly threw Jay off.

Jay's head connected with the brick wall, and she winced as stars danced in her vision. Despite the stars, Jay was able to see Forbus sprout Wolverine-like claws, and turn into an odd mix of a Venus flytrap and Edward Scissorshand. For a moment, she stared stupidly, before saying the first thing that came to mind.

"Well, hello sunshine." Then she ducked, and avoided the sharp claws scraping the bricks where her head had been.

"Don't move." Kay had finally joined the party.

Jay pulled out the Noisy Cricket, and joined Kay again. "What took you so long?"

"Minor detour." Kay answered nonchalantly, the Series Four Deatomiser still pointed at Forbus.

"Don't tell me you got tired-" Jay began, before a change in tone overcame her voice. "Kay, look out!"

When Forbus had swiped at the two, both Kay and Jay had ducked down, which was exactly what he had expected them to do. Curling his hands into fists to avoid stabbing the agents with his razor sharps, Forbus knocked the two with the back of his fist. Unfortunately for the MiB agents, Alcidians were strong.

Even as Kay tried to get back up and Jay groaned from her sprawled position on the ground, the teeth on the palms of Forbus bared themselves and Forbus slammed his palms down against the humans' faces.

The effect was immediate, and both Jay and Kay cried out in unison.

Jay's fingers clawed at the Alcidian's hand, desperately trying to pry it off her face. She doubled her efforts when a _slimy_ presence slithered into her mind, and tried to latch into her brain.

_Get. Out!_

Jay wasn't sure exactly what happened next. Blue – the oh-so-familiar blue of her fire – filled her vision, and she felt something inside her surge towards the slimy presence, travel along it, and run right into another presence, one that was strangely fuzzy and warm. Vaguely, Jay realised that Forbus had joined in their screaming, and now the three of them were howling like tone-deaf wolves.

Suddenly, Forbus' hand left her face, and the mental link to the _sliminess_ snapped. Grimacing at the sudden headache, Jay managed to roll onto her side slowly, and dig out her communicator from her jacket.

Jay fumbled the device and nearly dropped it.

"Ooh. My head." Jay groaned, face down. Judging by the near identical noises of discomfort Kay was making, Jay guessed that Kay's head was probably feeling like hers – like a watermelon that had been smashed open by a hammer, and had its innards scooped out from the resulting carnage. "Oh man. I think I'm going to pass out."

"Here." Kay managed through gritted teeth as he took her communicator, hand pressed against his temple to stave off the headache to no avail. "Elle? We're going to need back-up."

#MIB#

Kay felt sluggish.

It was the only word that could describe him right now. He felt like he couldn't raise his arms, and that he couldn't wake up at all.

"Oh, Jay's awake."

_X?_ Kay vaguely recognised the voice.

"Good, that means Kay shouldn't be too far behind."

_That's Zeeltor._

"Ow, my head… I feel…ugh…like crap."

_And Jay._

The same voice slurred slightly. "Where's Kay?"

"Right next to you, Little Ears."

There was a short pause as Jay processed this information. "Okay, then. Where's Scissorshands?"

"I assume you're talking about Forbus." Elle supplied wryly. "He's in the MiB Psych Ward."

Kay finally forced his eyes open, and blinked in the harsh white light of the Med-Bay. The other three standing occupants of the room were currently hovering over Jay, and had not seen him return to the land of the awake.

"What happened?" Jay asked as she sat up after a lengthy struggle against the blankets.

"I was hoping you could tell us that." X replied. "We found you three – Forbus, by the way," he clarified when Jay looked confused at who the 'three' was, "out cold in the alleyway."

Jay shrugged. "I have no idea. He sorta just…I dunno, pressed his hand on my face. I can't really remember what happened after that."

"He was attempting to create a psychic link." Kay supplied quietly, and allowed himself to indulge in smug satisfaction when the other four looked at him in surprise. "Two, to be precise."

"At the same time?" Zeeltor was rarely incredulous. This was one of the times. "I must say I've never heard of such a thing. No wonder he's catatonic."

"He's _what_?!" Jay looked slightly horrified.

"Catatonic." Zeeltor waved his hand flippantly. "Comatose. Whichever you prefer-"

"I got that, thanks." Jay rolled her eyes. "I meant, how come he's the only one who's a vegetable? Not that I'm complaining." She added quickly, shooting a slightly relieved glance at Kay.

_Me too, Slick. Me too._

Jay started violently, and looked at Kay, before glancing at the others. "I… I don't suppose you guys heard that?"

Although X was usually an obtuse person, Jay knew he wasn't being one right now. "Heard what?"

_Oh, man._

Jay's thought rang clearly in Kay's mind.

"It would appear," Kay remarked slowly, "that there is a link between Jay and I."

There was a stunned silence from the other occupants of the Med-Bay, before Jay tentatively broke it.

"Guys? Say something. You're starting to freak me out."

"Us? Freak _you_ out?" X finally answered.

Elle snapped to her senses, and pinched the bridge of her nose, to stave off the impending headache. "I knew you two had a penchant for the impossible, but this…" she trailed off, muttering under her breath.

Jay let out a startled yelp when Zeeltor pushed the odd-looking helmet onto her head. "Zeeltor-"

"Just running some tests." Zeeltor explained to Jay cheerily as he handed Kay an identical helmet. "This will be so fascinating."

Jay could sense a tendril of mild unease running through the recently formed mental link.

_This is going to be __**so**__ weird._

_Sorry, Slick._ Kay sent back.

_I-what? No, it's fine. Don't worry 'bout it._

_I wasn't worried._

_Pssh. Sure you weren't._

Elle watched the silent exchange between the two agents, and sighed. They were hard to comprehend in the first place, and now, Elle mused dryly, they were going to be _impossible_ to understand.

"Forbus's awake!" Troy announced loudly into the Med-Bay, and nearly all of the occupants in the room jumped. Before X could exact any revenge on the Symbiote, the old teenager urged his human host to run down the corridor, and cackled loudly.

"Idiot." X muttered.

#MIB#

"What do you see?"

"Uh…tuna melt."

"Uh-huh." Words were scribbled down onto a clipboard, and a new card was held up. "Now, what do you see?"

"…Tuna melt." Forbus nodded at the Rorschach inkblot. "Yes, definitely tuna melt."

#MIB#

"Do you have any idea," Frank looked between the two agents, "how…"

"Creepy?" Jay supplied as she munched on the tuna sandwich.

"I was going to say unusual," the Remoolian claimed lamely, "anyway, do you have any idea how unusual it is to see you two doing that?"

Both Jay and Kay paused mid-bite, and looked at Frank.

"Doing-" Jay began.  
"-what?" Kay finished.

"That." Frank answered flatly.

Jay smirked, and a glint of humour had entered Kay's eyes.

"Okay, now I know you're just doing it on purpose." The pug scowled.

"Oh, lighten up, Frank." Jay's smirk turned into a softer grin. "How'd the date go?"

"Jay!" Frank wailed. "You were supposed to keep that a secret!"

"Dude, Kay knew anyway." Jay rolled her eyes. "It's impossible to keep thoughts hidden if you have psychic link, Frank. So, how'd it go?"

"I am _not_ telling you." Frank scowled. "Nothing personal, Kay."

Jay chuckled, and finished off her sandwich.

"Besides," Frank asked curiously, "just how strong is this mental link, anyway?"

"A lot-"  
"-stronger-"  
"-than you-"  
"-would think, Frank."

The two agents took turns in their words.

Frank groaned, and covered his eyes with his paws. "Okay, stop, stop!"

In truth, the link had faded over the past few days, and while it had gotten weaker, there was still a glimmer of the link, and vague thoughts and emotions could be sensed along it.

Jay chuckled, and she felt the humour being mirrored by Kay, although none showed on his stony face.

_Beep-beep._

To Kay's surprise, Jay didn't scrabble for her communicator at the same time he did.

"_Break's over, agents._" Zed, as usual, got straight to business. "_We've got a situation on our hands, and I want you two back at HQ pronto._"

Kay quirked an eyebrow.

"_We've got rumours of the queen Bug placing a bounty on yours and Jay's heads._" Zed continued.

"Whatever for?" Jay asked the communicator.

"_Remember your first mission?_"

"Yeah, there was that bug called Edg-" Jay broke off. "Oh. I guess Queenie wants revenge, huh?"

"We're on our way." Kay reclaimed the communicator from Jay.

"Uh, I better tag along." The pug jumped off the stool and trotted behind the two MiB agents quickly. "You might need some back-up."

Jay rolled her eyes. "More like you don't want to become Bug food."

As the two bickered quietly back and forth (quietly because it wouldn't do for the general public to learn that talking dogs lived in their midst), Kay kept an eye out for any suspicious-looking New Yorkers – namely, people who walked stiffly and ate excessive amounts of sugar – and did not relax until the trio reached the LTD.

_Beep-beep._

"That'll be your communicator." Jay told Kay.

Kay glanced at Jay. "How do you know that?" he asked as he handed his communicator to Jay, eyes back on the road.

"Because my ringtone's different." Jay answered simply. "I finally figured out how to change the stupid thing-"

_Beep-beep_. Kay's communicator beeped again. Even as Jay moved her fingers over the 'answer' button, the device broke of mid-beep.

_1 missed call._ The words flashed onto the screen.

"Oops." Jay muttered.

Before Kay could do anything more than roll his eyes, an ominous piece of orchestral music started up, and Jay grinned sheepishly before pulling out her own communicator.

"What in the world is that?" Kay asked flatly, and the tone in his voice suggested that he didn't really want to know what Jay had set as her ringtone.

"That," Jay blushed as she cut off the _**Imperial March***_ mid-note, "would be Zed."

In the backseat, Frank started sniggering.

* * *

_***Imperial March – or more commonly known as Darth Vader's Theme.**_


End file.
